My favorite commercials

I don't watch too much TV. I also own a DV-R (oh, I'm fancy, huh). The combination would make it seem that I live a commercial-free life. However, due to my love of live sporting events, sometimes visual ads are impossible to avoid.

Throughout the year, there have been more commercials than usual that have caught my eye. Mainly, they fall into the comedy category. Most hollywood movies can't make me laugh so if you can achieve this feat within a 30 second window, you deserve some sort of recognition. That recognition begins now.

Here are my five favorite commercials of the year so far (that I can remember)!

The first ad is actually the one that sparked the idea for this blog. After watching it, I thought to myself, 'a blog about my favorite commercials out seems like a complete & utter waste of time. Let's do it!' And here we are. It's for Mentos Up2U gum, a pack of gum with two different flavors in it. Not only am I a huge gum addict but I can appreciate anything with a clever usage of the classic 'eeny meeny miney mo'.


Next up, we have a commercial for the Chevy Cruze. I know what you're thinking. 'A car ad? This muthafucka doesn't even have a permit!' And while that may be true, that's not the point, asshole. The premise of this could've come across as corny but it was executed to perfection. And it features a happy black couple! Wait... what?


Just to piss you off some more, here's another car ad from the guy that can't even drive in a video game. This gem was featured all the way back in February during the Super Bowl. I thought it was a home run then & it still holds up. So much, in fact, that it still airs eight months later. It's from the good folks at Volkswagen. Actually, I don't know if they're good folks. They're probably shitheads for all we know. However, anything with Star Wars is an epic win.


If you know me, you KNEW this commercial was gonna be here. As I may have mentioned before, I am a proud hamster owner. Although the lil fucker tries to bite me everytime I try to hold him, I'm still a huge fan of the furry creatures. Kia must be as well, as they have featured these rodents for two ads already. I'll always have a special place in my heart for the original, especially with the amazing use of Black Sheep's 'The Choice Is Yours'. But adding LMFAO & robots? I'm all in.


I left the best for last. You know a commercial is good when you use your DV-R to rewind it. On top of being a gum fiend & a hamster whore, I'm also a sandwich savant. Nothing makes me happier than stacks of honey turkey, a slice of american cheese and honey mustard smothered between two soft slices of wheat bread. Can you say foodgasm? As impossible as it may seem, the dude in this next clip is even more passionate about sandwiches than I am. Here's a classic from Boar's Head.


And that's all I got. Feel free to ad any commercials I may have missed & I may include them in a future blog. Holler!

Mookie

One year ago, I woke up with an impulse. This was a rare feeling for me because I'm a pretty conservative dude who, up 'til recently, had lived my life pretty conventionally. I was known for making rational decisions after thoroughly examining all possible outcomes & then choosing the one I felt was most beneficial to me. However, on this special day, I wanted to live dangerously. Ok, maybe dangerously isn't the right word, but I wanted to do something life-changing. I wanted to own my first pet.

I had been deprived of a pet my whole life. Like, wtf mom... you couldn't even get me a fuckin' fish?! That's just bad parenting. (I'm kidding, my mom is amazing) There was a void in my life that needed to be filled, preferably by a furry creature. Those close to me know I had been tossing around the idea of getting a hamster for a few months. One of my best friends had owned one & I thought they would be the ideal pet. Small, low maintenance, inexpensive. All great qualities that fit it in w/ my superstar lifestyle. I could be out late in the club popping bottles of champagne w/ Diddy & not have to rush home because I had to walk my pet outside so he can take a monster shit. Perfect!

On September 18, 2010, my pet virginity was viciously taken away from me. I gathered up two of my homegirls and we visited a few local pet shops on the hunt for the most adorable hamster. You might think this would've been an easy process but it was anything but that. We had gone to three stores & I had yet to build a connection w/ any of their hamsters. With one more local option left, Petland Discounts, the situation was looking bleak.

We arrived at Petland and headed straight for the hamster section. Their variety was jaw-dropping. Tons of baby hamsters spilt up between three cages, all sleeping (hamsters are nocturnal). Well, all except one. One of the hamsters was running around with what appeared to be a piece of bacon in this mouth. Hold up... I think we're onto something. He looked at me. I looked at him. It has been love ever since.

The rest is history. I purchased him & all the essentials (cage, bedding, water bottle, food, casa, wheel) & soon enough, he was part of the fam. I wanted to give him a name that had meaning. It was only natural that I referenced my deep love for the Mets & named him after my all-time favorite player, Mookie Wilson. The legacy of Mookie was born.

My first year as a pet owner has been incredible. It has given me a heightened sense of responsibility, an increased amount of patience, but most of all, a stronger understanding of love. Turns out that ever since I've had Mookie, my life has changed drasitically, most notably in the ladies department. I've gotten way more attention from the female demographic. Coincidence? I think not! Although it would be nice if he wouldn't be going ham on his squeaky ass wheel while I'm trying to make love. Not cool, lil dude. Even with that said, he is easily the best $5 I've ever spent.

Happy birthday Mookie <3