If you're dumb enough to be running in snowy (and icy) conditions and a news reporter stops you for an interview, you should do one of two things: 1) do the interview and emphasize about how much of a doofus you are for running in such hazardous conditions or 2) tell that news lady to kick rocks and continue your inevitable path to cold, winter hell. This couple did neither and paid the costly price.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Flappy Bird (w/ Secret Trick!)
I miss the old me. And by the old me, I don't mean who I was ten years ago. Not five... shit, not even the one from last year. I'm talking about the old me from last week. The person that I was before I discovered Flappy Bird.
What is Flappy Bird? Really, you don't know? First off, it's a game. Second, you need to get out more. And third, I don't think we can be friends anymore.
The objective: tap your screen to maneuver the pixelated, flight-challenged bird through a series of Mario-like pipes. The fact that it sounds (and looks) so easy is one of the things that makes the game so frustrating. The fact that it looks like a game made in the 80's intended for lil' children doesn't help, either.
This game has consumed me for the past week and I'm proud to say that, out of the people I know, I'm in the 99th percentile. While you bitches are struggling to get to double digits, I'm sitting pretty at 46. And trust me, that number is on the rise.
To help those who are nowhere near as talented as me, I found a clip on YouTube that is sure to boast your anemic scores. Watch it and thank me later.
What is Flappy Bird? Really, you don't know? First off, it's a game. Second, you need to get out more. And third, I don't think we can be friends anymore.
The objective: tap your screen to maneuver the pixelated, flight-challenged bird through a series of Mario-like pipes. The fact that it sounds (and looks) so easy is one of the things that makes the game so frustrating. The fact that it looks like a game made in the 80's intended for lil' children doesn't help, either.
This game has consumed me for the past week and I'm proud to say that, out of the people I know, I'm in the 99th percentile. While you bitches are struggling to get to double digits, I'm sitting pretty at 46. And trust me, that number is on the rise.
To help those who are nowhere near as talented as me, I found a clip on YouTube that is sure to boast your anemic scores. Watch it and thank me later.
Marcus Smart Pushes Texas Tech Fan
In the final seconds of Oklahoma State's game vs. Texas Tech, OK ST. star Marcus Smart engaged with a fan in the stands. And by engage, I mean he shoved that son of a bitch like whaaaat! Smart is claiming the fan called him a racial slur, and while we shouldn't jump to conclusions, I find it odd that Smart would snap if it was anything else. And the game was being played in Texas after all, not always known as the least ignorant place in the world.
Other ball players have identified the 'fan' as a nuisance, remembering his round face from previous heckles. If he did use the 'N' word, he's lucky he didn't get a leg drop as well, along with a side order of a Macho Man flying elbow from the top rope.
Here's the push heard around the college b-ball world:
Other ball players have identified the 'fan' as a nuisance, remembering his round face from previous heckles. If he did use the 'N' word, he's lucky he didn't get a leg drop as well, along with a side order of a Macho Man flying elbow from the top rope.
Here's the push heard around the college b-ball world:
Giant Panda Loves Snow
If NYers could enjoy the snow as much as this Panda from Toronto does, we wouldn't be yearning for summer
Sunday, February 2, 2014
SUPER BOWL PREDICTION!
Folks, it's about that time. Super Bowl Sunday, one of the most glorious days of the year. Whether you're tuned in for the commercials, the halftime show (#TeamBruno) or the actual game, all eyes will be on MetLife Stadium tonight as the Denver Broncos square off against the Seattle Seahawks.
When I first began this blog, I predicted the outcome of every NFL playoff game. And quite successfully, I may add. While it's too late to do that (and judging by who I would've picked, it was probably for the best), it's time to take it back to the roots and drop a Super Bowl prediction for dat azz.
There have been many stats about the #1 overall defense playing in the Super Bowl. Damn near unbeatable. The argument there could be that they never faced the #1 overall offense. But that has happened... four times, actually... with the dominant defensive team winning three of those.
None of those defenses, however, have played against THIS offense. I know almost any metric you look at points to Seattle winning this game. It makes sense. Running the ball and playing (extraordinary) defense will win you many games, and the Seahawks do both well. But this is a whole different offensive monster were talking about here with Denver. While Seattle has a great defense, they are not considered a legendary, all-time defense. Denver's offense is in the discussion for the best ever.
In order for Seattle to win, they're gonna have to put up points. Holding Denver to under 30 would be a huge accomplishment. The Broncos' O is that good. I'm not confident Seattle can keep up. I know Russell Wilson has been as cool and calm as you can get. But unless Seattle jumps ahead early, he's going to have pressure he hasn't previously had to move the ball. Denver's secondary is leaky, but Seattle's receiving unit isn't elite, either. Seattle will put up points, just not enough to take the Lombardi Trophy home.
My prediction: Denver 34 - Seattle 21
(And yes, I made a whole blog about the outcome of the Super Bowl without mentioning Peyton Manning and Richard Sherman. You're welcome.)
When I first began this blog, I predicted the outcome of every NFL playoff game. And quite successfully, I may add. While it's too late to do that (and judging by who I would've picked, it was probably for the best), it's time to take it back to the roots and drop a Super Bowl prediction for dat azz.
There have been many stats about the #1 overall defense playing in the Super Bowl. Damn near unbeatable. The argument there could be that they never faced the #1 overall offense. But that has happened... four times, actually... with the dominant defensive team winning three of those.
None of those defenses, however, have played against THIS offense. I know almost any metric you look at points to Seattle winning this game. It makes sense. Running the ball and playing (extraordinary) defense will win you many games, and the Seahawks do both well. But this is a whole different offensive monster were talking about here with Denver. While Seattle has a great defense, they are not considered a legendary, all-time defense. Denver's offense is in the discussion for the best ever.
In order for Seattle to win, they're gonna have to put up points. Holding Denver to under 30 would be a huge accomplishment. The Broncos' O is that good. I'm not confident Seattle can keep up. I know Russell Wilson has been as cool and calm as you can get. But unless Seattle jumps ahead early, he's going to have pressure he hasn't previously had to move the ball. Denver's secondary is leaky, but Seattle's receiving unit isn't elite, either. Seattle will put up points, just not enough to take the Lombardi Trophy home.
My prediction: Denver 34 - Seattle 21
(And yes, I made a whole blog about the outcome of the Super Bowl without mentioning Peyton Manning and Richard Sherman. You're welcome.)
Sunday, January 26, 2014
LIVE GRAMMY COMMENTARY!
(All times in EST)
7:55 PM: I was going back-n-forth on whether or not to do this but eff it, LETS DO THIS!
While you watch the Grammys (or during a commercial... or tomorrow? Shit, please find SOME time), you can check in here and read my commentary from this music-filled fuck fest. I'll be doing this LIVE, so I understand this may be challenging, but I will try my best to keep up. And if I keep up, y'all muthafuckas better keep up as well!
Simply stay on this link and refresh every few minutes and you should see some new material from your boy. Hope I keep you entertained!
8:01 PM: It's showtime! And we start with... Beyoncé. Blah. I'm sure I'm in the minority but I could go a few years without hearing from her. Not that she's not talented, just over-exposed. Everything in moderation, you know? She's singing 'Drunk In Love' so you know Jay is coming out. And he does, in a dapper tux. Oddly enough, although they're married, it looks like they don't know each other.Where's the chemistry? Jay even hesitated to grab her ass. Man, get a handful of that culo, playa! If you don't, I will!
8:08 PM: As much as I'm sick of Beyoncé, I wouldn't mind seeing her perform over hearing LL Cool J host. I love you L, you're one of the best MC's of all-time, but damn, we can't find a better, more entertaining host? Dude is cardboard.
8:11 PM: Pharrell has a giant piece of shit on his head. WTF man.
8:13 PM: First major award goes to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for Best New Artist. Over Kendrick Lamar, which, if you're a hip-hop head, is an outrage. I have mixed feelings on them. Love the messages in some of their songs but they're still a bit corny in conveying them.
8:16 PM: Ahhh shit, my bitch Lorde is performing. Wait, isn't this chick like 17 years old? She looks 35. And why is she convulsing on stage? That ain't cute, boo. Somebody get the holy water and sprinkle some on her. She looks possessed. And she's holding her mic while doing the triple 6 gesture. There is a 96% chance this performance is going to give me nightmares tonight.
8:25 PM: Commercial break over. And now I'm listening to the whining of some country cockhead named Hunter Hayes. Actually, he's aight, but enough with the non-bullying shit already. I understand it exists and it's a horrible thing but I think there's too much focus on the bad-asses out there and not enough on toughening up those who get bullied. But I digress.
8:29 PM: Always been oddly attracted to Anna Farris. And Anna Kendrick, too. They both currently occupy bench spots on my snowflake all-star team.
8:30 PM: Best Pop Duo award goes to Daft Punk and... Pharrell! We get to see that ridiculous hat again! Poor Pharrell is forced to talk because Daft Punk always rocks ginormous helmets. Are we sure there's actually people in those helmets? Remind me to google 'Daft Punk without helmets on' after the show.
8:32 PM: Obligatory Beatles shout-out. (Second of the night, I might add)
8:33 PM: Normally, I would be breaking out in hives because Katy Perry is about to perform but she's doing the one song from her that I actually like, 'Dark Horse'. Shit, I can't lie, I love this shit. Was very disappointed when I shazamed this and found out it was her. But life goes on.
8:35 PM: Juicy J sighting! An Oscar, and now sharing the stage with Katy Perry. He's one of the funniest dudes I've ever interviewed. And one of my few ignorant guilty pleasures. If I'm gonna dumb out, give me some Juicy J or 2 Chainz. I also enjoy how every song he does has a 'yeah hoe' chant in the background. Very classy.
8:43 PM: My mom is being a major groupie now that Chicago is performing. Or at least I hope it's because of Chicago because if it's for Robin Thicke, I'm gonna hurl. Thicke is going through some of the finest tracks in Chicago's catalog, which is cool 'cause he's performing with them, but after tonight he should only be allowed to perform 'Blurred Lines'. Like really, dude. I don't wanna hear you sing anything else.
8:46 PM: OK now we're talking! 'Blurred Lines!' *starts twerking* I love this shit. And with Chicago's horn section? Epic. Too bad he only did the one-minute version of it. I was really looking forward to seeing a third appearance from Pharrell's hat.
8:48 PM: Mr. Nicole Kidman is singing softly now. We can't go from Robin Thicke getting the crowd amped to Keith Urban putting everyone to sleep. Horrible transition. Not that I can hear any of this because my mom is reminiscing about all the Chicago concerts she's gone to. When she's done, we're both wondering who the black guy on stage is.
8:58 PM: Back after a much-needed extended commercial (my poor paws are killing me) and we got John Legend on the keys. Kind of amazing that he's been out for over a decade already. Not someone I associate with longevity but he's been in the game for a minute. He's singing 'All Of Me' which is a lovely tune, but I find it amusing that when they attempted to put the spotlight on his wife in the audience, they also captured some angry Danny Glover-looking dude, too. #LightingFail
9:01 PM: So apparently that black dude on stage earlier was Gary Clark, Jr. And yes, I only know that because they just showed him in the Best Rock category.
9:03 PM: It's pretty much a guarantee that if you feature Paul McCartney on your song, you're winning a grammy. This theory is proven correctly by Dave Grohl, as he just took home the Best Rock award. Any artist that wants some of that golden hardware, holla at the Sir.
9:06 PM: Oh joy, Taylor Swift! What's this bitch crying about now? I swear she drops something new every year just so she could perform at this show. How many years running has she been here? Five? Ten? I must say, I appreciate the fact the camera isn't on her during other artists' performances. I couldn't take her off-beat moves any longer. Huge improvement over last year.
9:09 PM: Love how she keeps swinging her head backwards. Makes her seem so edgy. Look at you, Taylor... living so dangerously!
9:16 PM: Back after another break and we got Pink performing. This chick's always performing in the air. I haven't seen a Pink performance on land in ages. And people in the audience are spinning her for no apparent reason. I'm confused.
9:19 PM: Pink has landed! Thank goodness. And now some topless beefcake is tossing her around. She can't catch a break.
9:20 PM: Nate Ruess from Fun joins Pink and boy, is he looking like a pedophile. Three quarters of the criminals on SVU look just like him. Creeper. Meanwhile, Pink is understandably out of breath after doing acrobatics and wrestling with some half-naked ogre. But she comes through and delivers a decent performance.
9:22 PM: Ladies, guard the back of your heads... Miguel is here! This dude should be forced to wear flip-flops to every award show, just in case he gets any ideas.
9:24 PM: Best Pop Solo award goes to Lorde. WTF, she looks older than when she performed earlier. She's the anti-Benjamin Button. By the end of the show, she's gonna look like Betty White.
9:30 PM: Why would you even attempt to have Ozzy Osbourne present anything? It's clear he's not even sure where he is. Mumbling muthafucka.
9:31 PM: It's Ringo Starr time, and as much respect as I have for the Beetles, this is looking like nap time. See y'all in a few.
9:35 PM: Just woke-up, and just in time, too. It's Rap/Sung Collabo award time, and it goes to... wait, Jamie Foxx just said he wants to apologize to Jay-Z for staring at Beyoncé... then Jay wins for 'Holy Grail' featuring JT. Awkward! Jay makes a joke about telling Blue Ivy that daddy's grammy will be a gold sippy cup for her. What an elitist. *rolls eyes*
9:44 PM: Back from the break and got damn... it's Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar. And they are RIPPING IT! This shit just started and it's already the front-runner for best performance of the night. I clearly spoke too quickly about the Taylor Swift shots, though. For some reason, CBS thinks it's a great idea to show her bouncing off-beat and making an assface out of herself. But even her uncoordinated ass can't ruin this performance.
9:48 PM: It's official: I just added Kendrick to my extremely short list of artists I want to see live. And bring Imagine Dragons on the road with you. Wow. When Jay ever decides to leave rap alone for good, Kendrick is looking like the guy to carry the torch.
9:50: Naturally, after that display of energetic adrenaline, we get some chick named Kacey Musgraves (I had to google her name to make sure I got it right) boring us to death. Typical Grammy fashion. It's clear that whoever produces this show is not a DJ. Worst transitions ever.
10:00 PM: Julia Roberts talking about... the Beatles. Surprise! It's like, damn... all these Beatles mentions and that Ringo Starr performance. I'm surprised Paul McCartney hasn't performed tonight.
10:01 PM: Never mind. Of COURSE he's performing. And with Ringo Starr, nonetheless. My mom mentions that Paul was always her favorite Beatle. Thank you Mom, for all your wonderful insight. Where would I be without that piece of valuable information?
10:04 PM: Look at Yoko Ono getting down. All 74 pounds of her. Adorbs!
10:06 PM: Pharrell won producer of the year! The hat! Ahhhh!
10:06 PM: Best Pop Vocal Album up now. If Bruno Mars doesn't win, I'm rioting.
10:07 PM: YESSSSS!!! BRUNO!!! Now THAT is a well-deserved award. You know I hate pretty much everything, but that is a cool ass album. And did I mention I saw him in concert last year? Oh I did? Well I just said it again. Deal with it, sucka!
10:16 PM: Legendary stoner Willie Nelson on stage. I'd rather be lighting one up with him than listening to him sing.
10:17 PM: Great, now he's joined by three more country dudes. The only one I know is Blake Shelton, and the only words I made out were a few drug references. I'm lost.
10:20 PM: Imagine Dragons are covered in blood, nodding their heads to this country catastrophe. This makes no sense.
10:22 PM: Best Country Album time, and naturally, I'm pulling for Blake Shelton because A) he's one of the only ones I know, B) he's hilarious on 'The Voice', and C) I can't tolerate any more Taylor Swift.
10:23 PM: That Kacey Musgraves chick wins, which is the Grammys way of saying 'our bad for having you follow the most epic performance of the night.'
10:25 PM: If nobody's made a 'Pharrell's Hat' handle on Twitter yet, I'd be highly surprised. The one he's sporting now for his 'Get Lucky' performance w/ Daft Punk, Le Chic and Stevie Wonder(!!!) is not as extreme as the other. But he's still in Indiana Jones territory, and not in a good way.
10:28 PM: Ahhhh FREAK OUT!
10:29 PM: Is there any hope for white people when Paul McCartney snaps his fingers off-beat?
10:30 PM: The crowd is rocking out, and dammit, so am I! Funky-licious. So funky that apparently Steven Tyler thinks he's in a congo line. Most of the time, these Grammy collaborations are disasters but tonight, the Kendrick/Imagine Dragons and Pharrell/Stevie Wonder pairings were perfection.
10:36 PM: Cyndi Lauper tripping over her words. Nothing to see here.
10:37 PM: Carole King's performing tonight too? Between Chicago, Paul and this curly-haired cougar, my mom's head may explode. At least I'm hoping she's a cougar, because any woman that can perform with Sara Bareilles and not make me projectile vomit has to be at least mildly attractive.
10:40 PM: Song of the year! This is a biggie! You know I'm Team Bruno!
10:41 PM: Lorde wins for 'Royals'. How can I be mad at that? That was my favorite song of 2013 (and yes, that was a not-so-subtle push to get you to read my 'Favorite 40 Songs of 2013' blog if you haven't already). Lorde's co-songwriter joins her on stage and calls her by her real name, Ella. She soooo looks like an Ella.
10:49 PM: Oh look, it's that poser Jared Leto! Is he still pretending to be a bad-ass? That dude is softer than a marshmellow.
10:50 PM: This Asian dude is catching wreck on the piano! He looks to be of average height, which is interesting because I thought Asian pianists were usually smaller.
10:51 PM: I can't like Metallica. Not since Mariano Rivera picked 'Enter Sandman' as his theme music. And their douchebag drummer shutdown Napster. In protest, I'm finna download all their shit right now.
10:56 PM: Steven Tyler, still woozy from Pharrell's performance, presents with Smokey Robinson, doing his own rendition of 'You Got A Hold On Me'. Smokey follows by belting out 'Dude Looks Like A Lady'. How cute.
10:57 PM: Record of the year! And the winner is... Daft Punk? Whoa, didn't see that coming. As much as I'm Team Bruno, I was certain Lorde or Robin Thicke was taking that. Unfortunately, Steven Tyler does not congo. It must suck to win all of these awards and not be able to give thanks because you're wearing a ridiculous, over-sized helmet.
11:06 PM: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are about to perform 'Same Love'. You know, the song about homosexuality. And Queen Latifah is introducing them. Is she's still pretending to be straight? How naïve do you have to be to think Queen Latifah is straight? Kind of ironic that the song is about being yourself and the Queen is still in the closet.
11:10 PM: Macklemore doing his thing and then... whoa, whoa, whoa... the Queen is back! Is this the moment? Nope... but 33 gay couples just got... married? I think? Is Queen Latifah certified to marry anyone? I thought she was a queen... now she's an ordained minister? I need to research this.
11:11 PM: And now Madonna comes out, looking like a hot ass mess. You're in your mid-50's, lady. Why are you still dressing like that? I'm sure that's what the newlyweds wanted to see as soon as they became official... Madonna's botox-injected face. These marriages aren't getting off to a good start.
11:22 PM: After thanking music teachers worldwide, it's time for the memoriam. Or the part of the show when you say 'oh shit, he died?'
11:23 PM: R.I.P. Chris Kelly of Kris Kross fame. I still have the cassette of their first album somewhere. JUMP, JUMP!
11:27 PM: Miranda Lambert and Billie Jo Armstrong (of Green Day fame) come together to sing an Everly Brothers jam in honor of one of the bros who passed away. Sadly, I still have JUMP, JUMP! in my head.
11:36 PM: Album of the year! It doesn't get any bigger than this! And... Daft Punk wins again. Womp womp. The Grammy board would give all these big awards to a duo of futuristic fucktards who can't even speak. No shade because I haven't heard their album, but from an entertainment standpoint, they had to be the worst choice to accept an award. What a letdown.
11:38 PM: I'm all grammy-ed out. And now there's a schmorgesborg of rockers on stage. With lots of blinking lights. Fuck it, I'm tired and this just put me over the top.
11:45 PM: It was fun, y'all. Thank you if you made it this far, I definitely appreciate it. I thought of this idea earlier today and wanted to challenge myself. Hopefully, this was a success. So Daft Punk... remove your helmets, Blue Ivy... drink out of your golden sippy cup, and Pharrell... set that hat on fire. Grammy night's over. Peace.
7:55 PM: I was going back-n-forth on whether or not to do this but eff it, LETS DO THIS!
While you watch the Grammys (or during a commercial... or tomorrow? Shit, please find SOME time), you can check in here and read my commentary from this music-filled fuck fest. I'll be doing this LIVE, so I understand this may be challenging, but I will try my best to keep up. And if I keep up, y'all muthafuckas better keep up as well!
Simply stay on this link and refresh every few minutes and you should see some new material from your boy. Hope I keep you entertained!
8:01 PM: It's showtime! And we start with... Beyoncé. Blah. I'm sure I'm in the minority but I could go a few years without hearing from her. Not that she's not talented, just over-exposed. Everything in moderation, you know? She's singing 'Drunk In Love' so you know Jay is coming out. And he does, in a dapper tux. Oddly enough, although they're married, it looks like they don't know each other.Where's the chemistry? Jay even hesitated to grab her ass. Man, get a handful of that culo, playa! If you don't, I will!
8:08 PM: As much as I'm sick of Beyoncé, I wouldn't mind seeing her perform over hearing LL Cool J host. I love you L, you're one of the best MC's of all-time, but damn, we can't find a better, more entertaining host? Dude is cardboard.
8:11 PM: Pharrell has a giant piece of shit on his head. WTF man.
8:13 PM: First major award goes to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for Best New Artist. Over Kendrick Lamar, which, if you're a hip-hop head, is an outrage. I have mixed feelings on them. Love the messages in some of their songs but they're still a bit corny in conveying them.
8:16 PM: Ahhh shit, my bitch Lorde is performing. Wait, isn't this chick like 17 years old? She looks 35. And why is she convulsing on stage? That ain't cute, boo. Somebody get the holy water and sprinkle some on her. She looks possessed. And she's holding her mic while doing the triple 6 gesture. There is a 96% chance this performance is going to give me nightmares tonight.
8:25 PM: Commercial break over. And now I'm listening to the whining of some country cockhead named Hunter Hayes. Actually, he's aight, but enough with the non-bullying shit already. I understand it exists and it's a horrible thing but I think there's too much focus on the bad-asses out there and not enough on toughening up those who get bullied. But I digress.
8:29 PM: Always been oddly attracted to Anna Farris. And Anna Kendrick, too. They both currently occupy bench spots on my snowflake all-star team.
8:30 PM: Best Pop Duo award goes to Daft Punk and... Pharrell! We get to see that ridiculous hat again! Poor Pharrell is forced to talk because Daft Punk always rocks ginormous helmets. Are we sure there's actually people in those helmets? Remind me to google 'Daft Punk without helmets on' after the show.
8:32 PM: Obligatory Beatles shout-out. (Second of the night, I might add)
8:33 PM: Normally, I would be breaking out in hives because Katy Perry is about to perform but she's doing the one song from her that I actually like, 'Dark Horse'. Shit, I can't lie, I love this shit. Was very disappointed when I shazamed this and found out it was her. But life goes on.
8:35 PM: Juicy J sighting! An Oscar, and now sharing the stage with Katy Perry. He's one of the funniest dudes I've ever interviewed. And one of my few ignorant guilty pleasures. If I'm gonna dumb out, give me some Juicy J or 2 Chainz. I also enjoy how every song he does has a 'yeah hoe' chant in the background. Very classy.
8:43 PM: My mom is being a major groupie now that Chicago is performing. Or at least I hope it's because of Chicago because if it's for Robin Thicke, I'm gonna hurl. Thicke is going through some of the finest tracks in Chicago's catalog, which is cool 'cause he's performing with them, but after tonight he should only be allowed to perform 'Blurred Lines'. Like really, dude. I don't wanna hear you sing anything else.
8:46 PM: OK now we're talking! 'Blurred Lines!' *starts twerking* I love this shit. And with Chicago's horn section? Epic. Too bad he only did the one-minute version of it. I was really looking forward to seeing a third appearance from Pharrell's hat.
8:48 PM: Mr. Nicole Kidman is singing softly now. We can't go from Robin Thicke getting the crowd amped to Keith Urban putting everyone to sleep. Horrible transition. Not that I can hear any of this because my mom is reminiscing about all the Chicago concerts she's gone to. When she's done, we're both wondering who the black guy on stage is.
8:58 PM: Back after a much-needed extended commercial (my poor paws are killing me) and we got John Legend on the keys. Kind of amazing that he's been out for over a decade already. Not someone I associate with longevity but he's been in the game for a minute. He's singing 'All Of Me' which is a lovely tune, but I find it amusing that when they attempted to put the spotlight on his wife in the audience, they also captured some angry Danny Glover-looking dude, too. #LightingFail
9:01 PM: So apparently that black dude on stage earlier was Gary Clark, Jr. And yes, I only know that because they just showed him in the Best Rock category.
9:03 PM: It's pretty much a guarantee that if you feature Paul McCartney on your song, you're winning a grammy. This theory is proven correctly by Dave Grohl, as he just took home the Best Rock award. Any artist that wants some of that golden hardware, holla at the Sir.
9:06 PM: Oh joy, Taylor Swift! What's this bitch crying about now? I swear she drops something new every year just so she could perform at this show. How many years running has she been here? Five? Ten? I must say, I appreciate the fact the camera isn't on her during other artists' performances. I couldn't take her off-beat moves any longer. Huge improvement over last year.
9:09 PM: Love how she keeps swinging her head backwards. Makes her seem so edgy. Look at you, Taylor... living so dangerously!
9:16 PM: Back after another break and we got Pink performing. This chick's always performing in the air. I haven't seen a Pink performance on land in ages. And people in the audience are spinning her for no apparent reason. I'm confused.
9:19 PM: Pink has landed! Thank goodness. And now some topless beefcake is tossing her around. She can't catch a break.
9:20 PM: Nate Ruess from Fun joins Pink and boy, is he looking like a pedophile. Three quarters of the criminals on SVU look just like him. Creeper. Meanwhile, Pink is understandably out of breath after doing acrobatics and wrestling with some half-naked ogre. But she comes through and delivers a decent performance.
9:22 PM: Ladies, guard the back of your heads... Miguel is here! This dude should be forced to wear flip-flops to every award show, just in case he gets any ideas.
9:24 PM: Best Pop Solo award goes to Lorde. WTF, she looks older than when she performed earlier. She's the anti-Benjamin Button. By the end of the show, she's gonna look like Betty White.
9:30 PM: Why would you even attempt to have Ozzy Osbourne present anything? It's clear he's not even sure where he is. Mumbling muthafucka.
9:31 PM: It's Ringo Starr time, and as much respect as I have for the Beetles, this is looking like nap time. See y'all in a few.
9:35 PM: Just woke-up, and just in time, too. It's Rap/Sung Collabo award time, and it goes to... wait, Jamie Foxx just said he wants to apologize to Jay-Z for staring at Beyoncé... then Jay wins for 'Holy Grail' featuring JT. Awkward! Jay makes a joke about telling Blue Ivy that daddy's grammy will be a gold sippy cup for her. What an elitist. *rolls eyes*
9:44 PM: Back from the break and got damn... it's Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar. And they are RIPPING IT! This shit just started and it's already the front-runner for best performance of the night. I clearly spoke too quickly about the Taylor Swift shots, though. For some reason, CBS thinks it's a great idea to show her bouncing off-beat and making an assface out of herself. But even her uncoordinated ass can't ruin this performance.
9:48 PM: It's official: I just added Kendrick to my extremely short list of artists I want to see live. And bring Imagine Dragons on the road with you. Wow. When Jay ever decides to leave rap alone for good, Kendrick is looking like the guy to carry the torch.
9:50: Naturally, after that display of energetic adrenaline, we get some chick named Kacey Musgraves (I had to google her name to make sure I got it right) boring us to death. Typical Grammy fashion. It's clear that whoever produces this show is not a DJ. Worst transitions ever.
10:00 PM: Julia Roberts talking about... the Beatles. Surprise! It's like, damn... all these Beatles mentions and that Ringo Starr performance. I'm surprised Paul McCartney hasn't performed tonight.
10:01 PM: Never mind. Of COURSE he's performing. And with Ringo Starr, nonetheless. My mom mentions that Paul was always her favorite Beatle. Thank you Mom, for all your wonderful insight. Where would I be without that piece of valuable information?
10:04 PM: Look at Yoko Ono getting down. All 74 pounds of her. Adorbs!
10:06 PM: Pharrell won producer of the year! The hat! Ahhhh!
10:06 PM: Best Pop Vocal Album up now. If Bruno Mars doesn't win, I'm rioting.
10:07 PM: YESSSSS!!! BRUNO!!! Now THAT is a well-deserved award. You know I hate pretty much everything, but that is a cool ass album. And did I mention I saw him in concert last year? Oh I did? Well I just said it again. Deal with it, sucka!
10:16 PM: Legendary stoner Willie Nelson on stage. I'd rather be lighting one up with him than listening to him sing.
10:17 PM: Great, now he's joined by three more country dudes. The only one I know is Blake Shelton, and the only words I made out were a few drug references. I'm lost.
10:20 PM: Imagine Dragons are covered in blood, nodding their heads to this country catastrophe. This makes no sense.
10:22 PM: Best Country Album time, and naturally, I'm pulling for Blake Shelton because A) he's one of the only ones I know, B) he's hilarious on 'The Voice', and C) I can't tolerate any more Taylor Swift.
10:23 PM: That Kacey Musgraves chick wins, which is the Grammys way of saying 'our bad for having you follow the most epic performance of the night.'
10:25 PM: If nobody's made a 'Pharrell's Hat' handle on Twitter yet, I'd be highly surprised. The one he's sporting now for his 'Get Lucky' performance w/ Daft Punk, Le Chic and Stevie Wonder(!!!) is not as extreme as the other. But he's still in Indiana Jones territory, and not in a good way.
10:28 PM: Ahhhh FREAK OUT!
10:29 PM: Is there any hope for white people when Paul McCartney snaps his fingers off-beat?
10:30 PM: The crowd is rocking out, and dammit, so am I! Funky-licious. So funky that apparently Steven Tyler thinks he's in a congo line. Most of the time, these Grammy collaborations are disasters but tonight, the Kendrick/Imagine Dragons and Pharrell/Stevie Wonder pairings were perfection.
10:36 PM: Cyndi Lauper tripping over her words. Nothing to see here.
10:37 PM: Carole King's performing tonight too? Between Chicago, Paul and this curly-haired cougar, my mom's head may explode. At least I'm hoping she's a cougar, because any woman that can perform with Sara Bareilles and not make me projectile vomit has to be at least mildly attractive.
10:40 PM: Song of the year! This is a biggie! You know I'm Team Bruno!
10:41 PM: Lorde wins for 'Royals'. How can I be mad at that? That was my favorite song of 2013 (and yes, that was a not-so-subtle push to get you to read my 'Favorite 40 Songs of 2013' blog if you haven't already). Lorde's co-songwriter joins her on stage and calls her by her real name, Ella. She soooo looks like an Ella.
10:49 PM: Oh look, it's that poser Jared Leto! Is he still pretending to be a bad-ass? That dude is softer than a marshmellow.
10:50 PM: This Asian dude is catching wreck on the piano! He looks to be of average height, which is interesting because I thought Asian pianists were usually smaller.
10:51 PM: I can't like Metallica. Not since Mariano Rivera picked 'Enter Sandman' as his theme music. And their douchebag drummer shutdown Napster. In protest, I'm finna download all their shit right now.
10:56 PM: Steven Tyler, still woozy from Pharrell's performance, presents with Smokey Robinson, doing his own rendition of 'You Got A Hold On Me'. Smokey follows by belting out 'Dude Looks Like A Lady'. How cute.
10:57 PM: Record of the year! And the winner is... Daft Punk? Whoa, didn't see that coming. As much as I'm Team Bruno, I was certain Lorde or Robin Thicke was taking that. Unfortunately, Steven Tyler does not congo. It must suck to win all of these awards and not be able to give thanks because you're wearing a ridiculous, over-sized helmet.
11:06 PM: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are about to perform 'Same Love'. You know, the song about homosexuality. And Queen Latifah is introducing them. Is she's still pretending to be straight? How naïve do you have to be to think Queen Latifah is straight? Kind of ironic that the song is about being yourself and the Queen is still in the closet.
11:10 PM: Macklemore doing his thing and then... whoa, whoa, whoa... the Queen is back! Is this the moment? Nope... but 33 gay couples just got... married? I think? Is Queen Latifah certified to marry anyone? I thought she was a queen... now she's an ordained minister? I need to research this.
11:11 PM: And now Madonna comes out, looking like a hot ass mess. You're in your mid-50's, lady. Why are you still dressing like that? I'm sure that's what the newlyweds wanted to see as soon as they became official... Madonna's botox-injected face. These marriages aren't getting off to a good start.
11:22 PM: After thanking music teachers worldwide, it's time for the memoriam. Or the part of the show when you say 'oh shit, he died?'
11:23 PM: R.I.P. Chris Kelly of Kris Kross fame. I still have the cassette of their first album somewhere. JUMP, JUMP!
11:27 PM: Miranda Lambert and Billie Jo Armstrong (of Green Day fame) come together to sing an Everly Brothers jam in honor of one of the bros who passed away. Sadly, I still have JUMP, JUMP! in my head.
11:36 PM: Album of the year! It doesn't get any bigger than this! And... Daft Punk wins again. Womp womp. The Grammy board would give all these big awards to a duo of futuristic fucktards who can't even speak. No shade because I haven't heard their album, but from an entertainment standpoint, they had to be the worst choice to accept an award. What a letdown.
11:38 PM: I'm all grammy-ed out. And now there's a schmorgesborg of rockers on stage. With lots of blinking lights. Fuck it, I'm tired and this just put me over the top.
11:45 PM: It was fun, y'all. Thank you if you made it this far, I definitely appreciate it. I thought of this idea earlier today and wanted to challenge myself. Hopefully, this was a success. So Daft Punk... remove your helmets, Blue Ivy... drink out of your golden sippy cup, and Pharrell... set that hat on fire. Grammy night's over. Peace.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
The Joy & Pain of Carmelo's 62
I'm about to leave work last night (yes, I have an actual job, you racist puta) when my co-worker stops me:
Co-Worker: Yo, you wanna go to the Knick game tonight?
Me (in my head): Wow! You like, actually want to hang out with me OFF the clock? Neat!
Me (this time verbally): Uhh yeah, sure.
Notice how I was keeping it super cool. It sounded like a great idea, though. I can't remember the last time I've been to a Knick game, and it was definitely before my fav player Carmelo Anthony had joined the team (Syracuse, bitches!)
Me: Who's going?
Co-Worker: Me, my brother and one of my friends.
Me: You got tickets already?
Co-Worker: Nah, I'm ordering on StubHub and they only come in sets of four.
Me (now realizing I am only being used as a 4th seat but trying to ignore that fact): Ok let's do it!
My co-worker tries to order the tix but is having difficulty doing so. Apparently, the tix that looked to be available were sold. And let me tell you something, these seats were SWEET! I'm talking half-court, rubbing shoulders with Spike Lee and shit. Well, not nearly that close but good enough that I could make out the players' faces. Probably.
After a few more failed attempts, I steadily lose interest and resort to the plans I already had: staying home, wrapped up in my Mets snuggie watching Shark Tank. My co-worker finds a trio of tickets together and orders them. Everything is in this world is right again.
Except it isn't. I go home and decide to turn on the game while I wait for Shark Tank to begin, only to see Carmelo score 20 in the first quarter. And although there was plenty of game to be played, I knew at that point that I was missing something special.
You know the rest. Carmelo ends up breaking the Knicks and MSG record for points scored in a game while I shed tears tightly holding onto my Mets pillow pet. Another fail in my life, and one that I will not shake off easily. Come to think of it, I wish that asshole never asked me if I wanted to go. I wouldn't be spending my weekend covered in embarrassment and shame. So screw him, screw StubHub, screw Mark Cuban and screw you. (I didn't mean that, I swear. Just have a lot of anger. Tons of anger.)
If there's a rainbow in this story of clouds, and trust me, it's a really small, almost non-existent rainbow, it's that my fav player went ham on the poor Bobcats, in record-setting fashion. In case you missed any of it, here's every basket he scored last night. Now excuse me while I talk myself off the ledge.
Co-Worker: Yo, you wanna go to the Knick game tonight?
Me (in my head): Wow! You like, actually want to hang out with me OFF the clock? Neat!
Me (this time verbally): Uhh yeah, sure.
Notice how I was keeping it super cool. It sounded like a great idea, though. I can't remember the last time I've been to a Knick game, and it was definitely before my fav player Carmelo Anthony had joined the team (Syracuse, bitches!)
Me: Who's going?
Co-Worker: Me, my brother and one of my friends.
Me: You got tickets already?
Co-Worker: Nah, I'm ordering on StubHub and they only come in sets of four.
Me (now realizing I am only being used as a 4th seat but trying to ignore that fact): Ok let's do it!
My co-worker tries to order the tix but is having difficulty doing so. Apparently, the tix that looked to be available were sold. And let me tell you something, these seats were SWEET! I'm talking half-court, rubbing shoulders with Spike Lee and shit. Well, not nearly that close but good enough that I could make out the players' faces. Probably.
After a few more failed attempts, I steadily lose interest and resort to the plans I already had: staying home, wrapped up in my Mets snuggie watching Shark Tank. My co-worker finds a trio of tickets together and orders them. Everything is in this world is right again.
Except it isn't. I go home and decide to turn on the game while I wait for Shark Tank to begin, only to see Carmelo score 20 in the first quarter. And although there was plenty of game to be played, I knew at that point that I was missing something special.
You know the rest. Carmelo ends up breaking the Knicks and MSG record for points scored in a game while I shed tears tightly holding onto my Mets pillow pet. Another fail in my life, and one that I will not shake off easily. Come to think of it, I wish that asshole never asked me if I wanted to go. I wouldn't be spending my weekend covered in embarrassment and shame. So screw him, screw StubHub, screw Mark Cuban and screw you. (I didn't mean that, I swear. Just have a lot of anger. Tons of anger.)
If there's a rainbow in this story of clouds, and trust me, it's a really small, almost non-existent rainbow, it's that my fav player went ham on the poor Bobcats, in record-setting fashion. In case you missed any of it, here's every basket he scored last night. Now excuse me while I talk myself off the ledge.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
THE ULTIMATE (MOSTLY) 90'S RAP/R&B PLAYLIST!!
Dear Beloved Reader,
I love my blog. I know I neglected it for almost a year but I really do. My favorite posts are usually my favorite songs of the year posts. Why? Because I get to rank and write blurbs about tunes I love, duh. Like... who WOULDN'T love doing that? But I have to say... I think this one tops all of those posts combined.
A lil' backstory: First, you must know that I'm an 80's baby. While I appreciate 80's culture, I spent my glory years(?!) in the 90's. I have a special admiration for that decade and, for some odd reason, I've recently regressed to my teenage years. I started collecting baseball cards again. I copped Mortal Kombat for my PS3 (if any of y'all wanna buy me a PS4, please feel free). But most of all, I've been listening to 90's music non-stop. The reasoning? A combination of those songs being legendary, the reminiscing and reliving memories as I get older, and today's music (especially rap) being pathetic and brainless.
A few months ago, I started working on an iPod playlist that featured my favorite songs from that decade. Initially, I hand-picked about 150 songs I had in my personal collection. I was so excited about it, I posted a Facebook status mentioning it. And I may have told some folks in my inner circle. And outer circle. Basically, anyone who was willing to listen to me, I was telling them about this playlist. You may have expected people to tell me to stfu, but no! They were actually interested! They wanted a copy of it! Begging! Pleading! Well... maybe not all of that... but the point is, they were intrigued, curious... for many of the same reasons I made the playlist in the first place. Their excitement got me even more excited, and I felt it was my duty to release this list to the masses. The world needed this.
I felt a huge responsibility before I just leaked this list out there. While I was perfecting it, it became quite clear that 150 songs wasn't gonna cut it. The 90's was packed with so many timeless tunes that I had to increase the capacity. And I did, adding 50 more songs, making it an even 200. But wait, what about this song? And that song? Surely, I can't leave those off. Let's add them! OK, now I'm up to 250. I was still missing songs. Shit, this isn't easy. The truth is, I could make this playlist 500 songs and still miss some crucial material, but I had to draw the line somewhere. And that line was 300. For Sparta, muthafuckas.
So here we are. 300 of the 90's finest jams. A few things you should know before I present the list: This is strictly a rap/R&B playlist. I think that should be clear by the title but you know there's gonna be some oblivious asshole asking 'where's Madonna?' You should know I'm more of a rap head, so this is a rap-heavy list. No H-Town, Shai or Silk here, ladies. Your panties will likely have to get moist elsewhere.
Also, I'm a born and raised New Yorker, so there is some regional bias here. There's a lot more NY/East coast shit because that's what I listened to growing up. So yes, your list, depending where you're from, is likely to vary from mine. And that's cool. If you're from the Midwest, South, West coast... shit, if you're from another country... feel free to share some of your favorite songs that I missed. I'll check them out if I haven't heard them (who are we kidding? I'm a 90's rap guru. Of COURSE I've heard them!) and maybe I'll even revise my list.
Two strict guidelines I also enforced: 1) No more than 10 songs per artist (not including features) and 2) No hokey songs. Even though the latter may sound that way, I don't mean it as disrespectful. I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of those songs. Coolio's 'Fantastic Voyage', Skee-Lo's 'I Wish' and Naughty By Nature's 'OPP' will always hold a special place in my corazon, just not a special place on my playlist. Basically, if it gets played in a sports arena, you won't see it on here. If you're not a hardcore 90's rap addict, a lot of these songs will look unfamiliar to you. And I love that. In my world, being obsolete is a good thing.
Lastly, while I made sure not to include any songs that were released after December 31st, 1999, I MAY have snuck in some 80's songs on there. Sue me. It's a handful, I promise. I didn't do this to complicate the list, just that the specific 80's songs on there were too good to leave off a playlist that ultimately is meant for me to recapture the feeling of that era. When you're making your playlist, leave them off if you're a stickler for the rules. If anything, use my list as a template... of complete and utter awesomeness.
Enough talking, here's the list. Hit me up on Twitter (@geequenyc) and share your thoughts!
(In alphabetical order by artist name)
Aaliyah 'Are You That Somebody?'
Aaliyah 'One In A Million'
Adina Howard 'Freak Like Me'
Ahmad 'Back In The Day (Remix)'
Artifacts 'Wrong Side Of Da Tracks'
A Tribe Called Quest 'Electric Relaxation'
A Tribe Called Quest 'Find A Way'
AZ 'Gimme Yours (feat. Nas)'
AZ 'Sugar Hill (feat. Missjones)'
Bad Meets Evil 'Scary Movies'
Beatnuts 'Off The Books (feat. Big Pun & Cuban Link)'
Beatnuts 'Watch Out Now'
Big L 'Ebonics'
Big L 'Put It On'
Big Punisher 'I'm Not A Player'
Big Punisher 'Still Not A Player (feat. Joe)'
Big Punisher 'Twinz (Deep Cover '98) (feat. Fat Joe)'
Black Moon 'Buck 'Em Down (Remix)'
Black Moon 'I Got Cha Opin (Remix)'
Black Rob 'Whoa!'
Black Star 'Definition'
Blackstreet 'Before I Let You Go'
Blackstreet 'Joy'
Blahzay Blahzay 'Danger'
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony 'Thuggish Ruggish Bone'
Boyz II Men 'Motownphilly'
Brand Nubian 'Don't Let It Go To Your Head'
Brandy 'I Wanna Be Down'
Busta Rhymes 'Everything Remains Raw'
Busta Rhymes 'Fire It Up'
Busta Rhymes 'It's A Party (feat. Zhane)'
Busta Rhymes 'Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See'
Busta Rhymes 'Tear Da Roof Off'
Busta Rhymes 'Woo-Ha! (Got You All In Check)'
Camp Lo 'Black Nostaljack (Come On)'
Camp Lo 'Luchini (This Is It)'
Cam'ron '357'
Canibus 'Buckingham Palace'
Canibus 'Get Retarded'
Canibus 'Second Round K.O.'
Capone-N-Noreaga 'T.O.N.Y. (Top Of New York)'
Case 'Touch Me, Tease Me (feat. Foxy Brown & Mary J. Blige)'
Changing Faces 'Stroke You Up'
Channel Live 'Mad-Izm (feat. KRS-One)'
Children Of The Corn 'American Dream'
Cocoa Brovaz 'Black Trump (feat. Raekwon)'
Common 'I Used To Love H.E.R.'
Common 'Resurrection (Extra P Remix)'
Craig Mack 'Flava In Ya Ear (Remix feat. Notorious B.I.G., LL Cool J, Rampage & Busta Rhymes)'
Craig Mack 'Get Down'
Crooklyn Dodgers 'Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers'
Cypress Hill 'Boom Biddy Bye Bye (Remix feat. Fugees)'
D'Angelo 'Brown Sugar'
D'Angelo 'Devil's Pie'
Da Brat 'Da B Side (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Da Brat 'Funkdafied'
Da Bush Babees 'We Run Things'
Das EFX 'Real Hip Hop'
De La Soul 'The Biziness (feat. Common)'
De La Soul 'Itsoweezee (Hot)'
Diamond D '5 Fingas Of Death (feat. Big L, Lord Finesse, AG & Fat Joe)'
DJ Honda 'Travelling Man (feat. Mos Def)'
DJ Muggs feat. Wyclef Jean 'John 3:16'
DMX 'Get At Me Dog (feat. Sheek)'
DMX 'Ruff Ryders Anthem'
DMX 'Stop Being Greedy'
Domino 'Sweet Potato Pie'
Dr. Dre 'Forgot About Dre (feat. Eminem)'
Dr. Dre 'Nuthin' But A G Thang (feat. Snoop Dogg)'
Dr. Dre 'Still D.R.E. (feat. Snoop Dogg)'
Dru Hill 'How Deep Is Your Love (feat. Redman)'
Dru Hill 'In My Bed'
Eminem 'If I Get Locked Up (feat. Dr. Dre)'
Eminem 'Just Don't Give A Fuck'
Eminem 'Role Model'
EPMD 'Crossover'
EPMD 'So Whatcha Sayin''
Eric B & Rakim 'Paid In Full'
Erykah Badu 'On & On'
Eve 'Gotta Man'
Eve 'What Y'all Niggaz Want'
Fab 5 'Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka'
Faith Evans 'You Used To Love Me'
Fat Joe 'Don Cartagena (feat. Diddy)'
Fat Joe 'Envy'
Fat Joe 'Firewater (feat. Raekwon, Big Pun & Armageddon)'
Fat Joe 'John Blaze (feat. Nas, Big Pun, Raekwon & Jadakiss)'
Fat Joe 'Success'
Firm 'Desperados (feat. Canibus)'
Firm 'Phone Tap'
Flipmode Squad 'Cha Cha Cha'
Foxy Brown 'Get You Home (feat. Blackstreet)'
Foxy Brown 'I'll Be (feat. Jay-Z)'
Fugees 'Fu-Gee-La'
Fugees 'Killing Me Softly'
Fugees 'Nappy Heads'
Fugees 'Ready Or Not'
Gang Starr feat. Inspectah Deck 'Above The Clouds'
Gang Starr 'Full Clip'
Gang Starr 'Mass Appeal'
Gang Starr 'Work'
Gang Starr 'You Know My Steez'
Geto Boys 'My Mind's Playin' Tricks On Me'
Ghostface 'Winter Warz (feat. U-God, Masta Killa & Cappadonna)'
Gina Thompson 'The Things That You Do (Bad Boy Remix feat. Missy Elliott)'
Ginuwine 'Pony'
Goodie Mob 'Cell Therapy'
Grand Puba 'I Like It (I Wanna Be Where You Are)'
Groove Theory 'Tell Me'
Group Home 'Supa Star'
GZA 'I Gotcha Back'
GZA 'Liquid Swords'
GZA 'Shadowboxin' (feat. Method Man)'
Heltah Skeltah 'Operation Lockdown'
Heltah Skeltah 'I Ain't Having That (feat. Starang Wondah & Doc Holiday)'
Horace Brown 'Things We Do For Love (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Ice Cube 'It Was A Good Day'
Ill Al Skratch 'Where My Homies'
Ill Al Skratch 'I'll Take Her (feat. Brian McKnight)'
Jagged Edge 'I Gotta Be'
Jay-Z 'Ain't No Nigga (feat. Foxy Brown)'
Jay-Z 'Brooklyn's Finest (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Jay-Z 'Dead Presidents'
Jay-Z 'Feelin' It'
Jay-Z 'Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)'
Jay-Z 'Jigga My Nigga'
Jay-Z 'So Ghetto'
Jay-Z 'Streets Is Watching'
Jay-Z 'Where I'm From'
Jeru The Damaja 'Come Clean'
Jodeci 'Come & Talk To Me'
Jodeci 'Freakin' You (Remix feat. Raekwon & Ghostface)'
Joe 'All The Things (Your Man Won't Do)'
Junior Mafia 'Get Money (Remix)'
Junior Mafia 'I Need You Tonight (feat. Aaliyah)'
Junior Mafia 'Player's Anthem'
Junior Mafia 'Realms Of Junior Mafia'
Juvenile 'Ha (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Keith Murray 'Most Beautifullest Thing In This World'
Keith Sweat 'Nobody'
Killarmy 'Fair, Love & War'
Kool G Rap 'Fast Life (feat. Nas)'
KRS-One 'MC's Act Like They Don't Know'
KRS-One 'Step Into A World (Rapture's Delight)'
Lauryn Hill 'Lost Ones'
Lil Kim 'Crush On You (feat. Lil Cease)'
LL Cool J 'Doin' It'
LL Cool J 'Hey Lover (feat. Boyz II Men)'
LL Cool J 'I Shot Ya (Remix feat. Keith Murray, Prodigy, Fat Joe & Foxy Brown)'
LL Cool J 'Loungin' (Remix feat. Total)'
LL Cool J '4, 3, 2, 1 (feat. Method Man, Redman, Canibus & DMX)'
Lord Finesse 'Hip 2 Da Game (Buckwild Remix)'
Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz 'Deja Vu'
Lost Boyz 'Beasts From The East (feat. Canibus & Redman)'
Lost Boyz 'Lifestyles Of The Rich & Shameless'
Lost Boyz 'Jeeps, Lex Coupes, Bimaz & Benz'
Lost Boyz 'Music Makes Me High'
Lost Boyz 'Renee'
Lox 'If You Think I'm Jiggy'
Lox 'Money, Power, Respect (feat. Lil Kim & DMX)'
LSG 'My Body'
Luniz 'I Got 5 On It'
Mad Skillz 'The Nod Factor'
Mariah Carey 'Breakdown (feat. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony)'
Mariah Carey 'Fantasy (Remix feat. ODB)'
Mary J. Blige 'Be Happy'
Mary J. Blige 'I Love You'
Mary J. Blige 'Real Love (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Masta Ace 'The I.N.C. Ride'
Mase 'Feels So Good'
Mase '24 Hours To Live (feat. Lox, DMX & Black Rob)'
MC Lyte 'Cold Rock A Party'
Method Man 'All I Need (Remix feat. Mary J. Blige)'
Method Man 'Bring The Pain'
Method Man 'Make Ups 2 Break Ups (feat. D'Angelo)'
Method Man 'Release Yo Delf'
Method Man & Redman 'Da Rockwilder'
Method Man & Redman 'How High'
Mic Geronimo 'Masta I.C.'
Mic Geronimo 'Shit Is Real'
Missy Elliott 'All N My Grill (feat. Nicole & Big Boi)'
Missy Elliott 'The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)'
Missy Elliott 'Sock It To Me (feat. Da Brat)'
Mobb Deep 'Drop A Gem On 'Em'
Mobb Deep 'Give Up The Goods (Just Step) (feat. Big Noyd)'
Mobb Deep 'Hell On Earth'
Mobb Deep 'Quiet Storm (Remix feat. Lil Kim)'
Mobb Deep 'Shook Ones (Part II)'
Mobb Deep 'Survival Of The Fittest'
Mona Lisa 'Can't Be Wasting My Time (feat. Lost Boyz)'
Monica 'Don't Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days)'
Monica 'Like This & Like That'
Monifah 'I Miss You (feat. Heavy D)'
Mos Def 'Ms. Fat Booty'
Mya 'Best Of Me (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Mya 'It's All About Me (feat. Sisqo)'
Nas 'If I Ruled The World (feat. Lauryn Hill)'
Nas 'It Ain't Hard To Tell'
Nas 'The Message'
Nas 'Nas Is Like'
Nas 'One Love'
Nas 'Sweet Dreams (Remix feat. R. Kelly)'
Nas 'The World Is Yours'
Next 'Too Close'
Nine 'What Cha Want'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Big Poppa'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Hypnotize'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Juicy'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Mo Money, Mo Problems (feat. Mase & P. Diddy)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Notorious Thugs (feat. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'One More Chance (Remix)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Sky's The Limit (feat. 112)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Unbelievable'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Warning'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Who Shot Ya'
Noreaga 'Banned From TV (feat. Nature, Big Pun, Cam'ron & Lox)'
Noreaga 'Super Thug'
NWA 'Straight Outta Compton'
O.C. 'Time's Up'
OGC 'No Fear'
Ol Dirty Bastard 'Brooklyn Zoo'
Ol Dirty Bastard 'Shimmy Shimmy Ya'
Onyx 'Last Dayz'
Onyx 'Shut 'Em Down (Remix feat. Noreaga & Big Pun)'
OutKast 'ATLiens'
OutKast 'Elevators (Me & You)'
OutKast feat. Goodie Mob 'Git Up, Git Out'
OutKast 'Skew It On The Bar-B (feat. Raekwon)'
OutKast 'Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik'
OutKast 'Wheelz Of Steel'
Pete Rock & CL Smooth 'I Got A Love'
Pete Rock & CL Smooth 'They Reminisce Over You'
Pharcyde 'Drop'
Pharcyde 'Runnin''
Pharoahe Monch 'Simon Says'
Playa 'Cheers 2 U'
Public Enemy 'Public Enemy No. 1'
Puff Daddy 'All About The Benjamins (Remix feat. Lox, Lil Kim & Notorious B.I.G.)'
Puff Daddy 'Been Around The World (Remix feat. Mase)'
Puff Daddy 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down (feat. Mase)'
Puff Daddy 'Victory (feat. Notorious B.I.G. & Busta Rhymes)'
R. Kelly 'Bump N' Grind'
R. Kelly 'Your Body's Callin''
Raekwon 'Criminology'
Raekwon 'Ice Cream (feat. Ghostface, Cappadonna & Method Man)'
Raekwon 'Incarcerated Scarfaces'
Rakim 'It's Been A Long Time'
Rakim 'New York (Ya Out There)'
Rampage 'Wild For Da Night (feat. Busta Rhymes)'
Ras Kass 'Soul On Ice (Diamond D Remix)'
Redman 'Da Goodness (feat. Busta Rhymes)'
Redman 'I'll Bee Dat'
Redman 'Time 4 Sum Aksion'
Redman 'Tonight's The Night'
Roots 'Clones'
Roots 'Concerto Of The Desperado'
Roots 'Proceed'
Roots 'What They Do (feat. Raphael Saadiq)'
Roots 'You Got Me (feat. Erykah Badu)'
Royal Flush 'Iced Down Medallions (feat. Noreaga)'
Royce Da 5'9 'Boom'
Show & AG 'Next Level'
Slick Rick 'Children's Story'
Slick Rick 'Mona Lisa'
Slick Rick 'Sitting In My Car'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Bucktown'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Sound Bwoy Bureill'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Wreckonize (Remix)'
Smoothe Da Hustler 'Broken Language (feat. Trigga The Gambler)'
Snoop Dogg 'Gin & Juice'
Snoop Dogg 'Who Am I (What's My Name?)'
Sparkle 'Be Careful (feat. R. Kelly)'
Subway 'Fire'
Soul For Real 'Candy Rain'
Soul For Real 'Every Little Thing I Do'
SWV 'Can We (feat. SWV)'
SWV 'Right Here (Human Nature)'
Tha Alkaholiks 'Daaam!'
TLC 'Creep'
TLC 'Red Light Special'
Total 'Can't You See (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Tracey Lee 'The Theme (It's Party Time)'
Usher 'U Make Me Wanna'
Warren G 'Regulate (feat. Nate Dogg)'
Westside Connection 'Bow Down'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Ain't Nuthing To Fuck Wit'
Wu-Tang Clan 'C.R.E.A.M.'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Protect Ya Neck'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Triumph'
Wyclef Jean 'Gone Till November (Remix feat. R. Kelly & Canibus)'
Wyclef Jean 'Guantanamera (feat. Celia Cruz)'
Xscape 'Just Kickin' It'
Xzibit 'Foundation'
Xzibit 'Paparazzi'
112 'Only You (Remix feat. Mase & Notorious B.I.G.)'
2 Pac 'Dear Mama'
2 Pac 'Hail Mary'
2 Pac 'So Many Tears'
2 Pac 'Temptations'
702 'Steelo (feat. Missy Elliott)'
Thank you for the read and God bless the 90's!
Sincerely,
GeeQue
90's Rap Guru
I love my blog. I know I neglected it for almost a year but I really do. My favorite posts are usually my favorite songs of the year posts. Why? Because I get to rank and write blurbs about tunes I love, duh. Like... who WOULDN'T love doing that? But I have to say... I think this one tops all of those posts combined.
A lil' backstory: First, you must know that I'm an 80's baby. While I appreciate 80's culture, I spent my glory years(?!) in the 90's. I have a special admiration for that decade and, for some odd reason, I've recently regressed to my teenage years. I started collecting baseball cards again. I copped Mortal Kombat for my PS3 (if any of y'all wanna buy me a PS4, please feel free). But most of all, I've been listening to 90's music non-stop. The reasoning? A combination of those songs being legendary, the reminiscing and reliving memories as I get older, and today's music (especially rap) being pathetic and brainless.
A few months ago, I started working on an iPod playlist that featured my favorite songs from that decade. Initially, I hand-picked about 150 songs I had in my personal collection. I was so excited about it, I posted a Facebook status mentioning it. And I may have told some folks in my inner circle. And outer circle. Basically, anyone who was willing to listen to me, I was telling them about this playlist. You may have expected people to tell me to stfu, but no! They were actually interested! They wanted a copy of it! Begging! Pleading! Well... maybe not all of that... but the point is, they were intrigued, curious... for many of the same reasons I made the playlist in the first place. Their excitement got me even more excited, and I felt it was my duty to release this list to the masses. The world needed this.
I felt a huge responsibility before I just leaked this list out there. While I was perfecting it, it became quite clear that 150 songs wasn't gonna cut it. The 90's was packed with so many timeless tunes that I had to increase the capacity. And I did, adding 50 more songs, making it an even 200. But wait, what about this song? And that song? Surely, I can't leave those off. Let's add them! OK, now I'm up to 250. I was still missing songs. Shit, this isn't easy. The truth is, I could make this playlist 500 songs and still miss some crucial material, but I had to draw the line somewhere. And that line was 300. For Sparta, muthafuckas.
So here we are. 300 of the 90's finest jams. A few things you should know before I present the list: This is strictly a rap/R&B playlist. I think that should be clear by the title but you know there's gonna be some oblivious asshole asking 'where's Madonna?' You should know I'm more of a rap head, so this is a rap-heavy list. No H-Town, Shai or Silk here, ladies. Your panties will likely have to get moist elsewhere.
Also, I'm a born and raised New Yorker, so there is some regional bias here. There's a lot more NY/East coast shit because that's what I listened to growing up. So yes, your list, depending where you're from, is likely to vary from mine. And that's cool. If you're from the Midwest, South, West coast... shit, if you're from another country... feel free to share some of your favorite songs that I missed. I'll check them out if I haven't heard them (who are we kidding? I'm a 90's rap guru. Of COURSE I've heard them!) and maybe I'll even revise my list.
Two strict guidelines I also enforced: 1) No more than 10 songs per artist (not including features) and 2) No hokey songs. Even though the latter may sound that way, I don't mean it as disrespectful. I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of those songs. Coolio's 'Fantastic Voyage', Skee-Lo's 'I Wish' and Naughty By Nature's 'OPP' will always hold a special place in my corazon, just not a special place on my playlist. Basically, if it gets played in a sports arena, you won't see it on here. If you're not a hardcore 90's rap addict, a lot of these songs will look unfamiliar to you. And I love that. In my world, being obsolete is a good thing.
Lastly, while I made sure not to include any songs that were released after December 31st, 1999, I MAY have snuck in some 80's songs on there. Sue me. It's a handful, I promise. I didn't do this to complicate the list, just that the specific 80's songs on there were too good to leave off a playlist that ultimately is meant for me to recapture the feeling of that era. When you're making your playlist, leave them off if you're a stickler for the rules. If anything, use my list as a template... of complete and utter awesomeness.
Enough talking, here's the list. Hit me up on Twitter (@geequenyc) and share your thoughts!
(In alphabetical order by artist name)
Aaliyah 'Are You That Somebody?'
Aaliyah 'One In A Million'
Adina Howard 'Freak Like Me'
Ahmad 'Back In The Day (Remix)'
Artifacts 'Wrong Side Of Da Tracks'
A Tribe Called Quest 'Electric Relaxation'
A Tribe Called Quest 'Find A Way'
AZ 'Gimme Yours (feat. Nas)'
AZ 'Sugar Hill (feat. Missjones)'
Bad Meets Evil 'Scary Movies'
Beatnuts 'Off The Books (feat. Big Pun & Cuban Link)'
Beatnuts 'Watch Out Now'
Big L 'Ebonics'
Big L 'Put It On'
Big Punisher 'I'm Not A Player'
Big Punisher 'Still Not A Player (feat. Joe)'
Big Punisher 'Twinz (Deep Cover '98) (feat. Fat Joe)'
Black Moon 'Buck 'Em Down (Remix)'
Black Moon 'I Got Cha Opin (Remix)'
Black Rob 'Whoa!'
Black Star 'Definition'
Blackstreet 'Before I Let You Go'
Blackstreet 'Joy'
Blahzay Blahzay 'Danger'
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony 'Thuggish Ruggish Bone'
Boyz II Men 'Motownphilly'
Brand Nubian 'Don't Let It Go To Your Head'
Brandy 'I Wanna Be Down'
Busta Rhymes 'Everything Remains Raw'
Busta Rhymes 'Fire It Up'
Busta Rhymes 'It's A Party (feat. Zhane)'
Busta Rhymes 'Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See'
Busta Rhymes 'Tear Da Roof Off'
Busta Rhymes 'Woo-Ha! (Got You All In Check)'
Camp Lo 'Black Nostaljack (Come On)'
Camp Lo 'Luchini (This Is It)'
Cam'ron '357'
Canibus 'Buckingham Palace'
Canibus 'Get Retarded'
Canibus 'Second Round K.O.'
Capone-N-Noreaga 'T.O.N.Y. (Top Of New York)'
Case 'Touch Me, Tease Me (feat. Foxy Brown & Mary J. Blige)'
Changing Faces 'Stroke You Up'
Channel Live 'Mad-Izm (feat. KRS-One)'
Children Of The Corn 'American Dream'
Cocoa Brovaz 'Black Trump (feat. Raekwon)'
Common 'I Used To Love H.E.R.'
Common 'Resurrection (Extra P Remix)'
Craig Mack 'Flava In Ya Ear (Remix feat. Notorious B.I.G., LL Cool J, Rampage & Busta Rhymes)'
Craig Mack 'Get Down'
Crooklyn Dodgers 'Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers'
Cypress Hill 'Boom Biddy Bye Bye (Remix feat. Fugees)'
D'Angelo 'Brown Sugar'
D'Angelo 'Devil's Pie'
Da Brat 'Da B Side (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Da Brat 'Funkdafied'
Da Bush Babees 'We Run Things'
Das EFX 'Real Hip Hop'
De La Soul 'The Biziness (feat. Common)'
De La Soul 'Itsoweezee (Hot)'
Diamond D '5 Fingas Of Death (feat. Big L, Lord Finesse, AG & Fat Joe)'
DJ Honda 'Travelling Man (feat. Mos Def)'
DJ Muggs feat. Wyclef Jean 'John 3:16'
DMX 'Get At Me Dog (feat. Sheek)'
DMX 'Ruff Ryders Anthem'
DMX 'Stop Being Greedy'
Domino 'Sweet Potato Pie'
Dr. Dre 'Forgot About Dre (feat. Eminem)'
Dr. Dre 'Nuthin' But A G Thang (feat. Snoop Dogg)'
Dr. Dre 'Still D.R.E. (feat. Snoop Dogg)'
Dru Hill 'How Deep Is Your Love (feat. Redman)'
Dru Hill 'In My Bed'
Eminem 'If I Get Locked Up (feat. Dr. Dre)'
Eminem 'Just Don't Give A Fuck'
Eminem 'Role Model'
EPMD 'Crossover'
EPMD 'So Whatcha Sayin''
Eric B & Rakim 'Paid In Full'
Erykah Badu 'On & On'
Eve 'Gotta Man'
Eve 'What Y'all Niggaz Want'
Fab 5 'Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka'
Faith Evans 'You Used To Love Me'
Fat Joe 'Don Cartagena (feat. Diddy)'
Fat Joe 'Envy'
Fat Joe 'Firewater (feat. Raekwon, Big Pun & Armageddon)'
Fat Joe 'John Blaze (feat. Nas, Big Pun, Raekwon & Jadakiss)'
Fat Joe 'Success'
Firm 'Desperados (feat. Canibus)'
Firm 'Phone Tap'
Flipmode Squad 'Cha Cha Cha'
Foxy Brown 'Get You Home (feat. Blackstreet)'
Foxy Brown 'I'll Be (feat. Jay-Z)'
Fugees 'Fu-Gee-La'
Fugees 'Killing Me Softly'
Fugees 'Nappy Heads'
Fugees 'Ready Or Not'
Gang Starr feat. Inspectah Deck 'Above The Clouds'
Gang Starr 'Full Clip'
Gang Starr 'Mass Appeal'
Gang Starr 'Work'
Gang Starr 'You Know My Steez'
Geto Boys 'My Mind's Playin' Tricks On Me'
Ghostface 'Winter Warz (feat. U-God, Masta Killa & Cappadonna)'
Gina Thompson 'The Things That You Do (Bad Boy Remix feat. Missy Elliott)'
Ginuwine 'Pony'
Goodie Mob 'Cell Therapy'
Grand Puba 'I Like It (I Wanna Be Where You Are)'
Groove Theory 'Tell Me'
Group Home 'Supa Star'
GZA 'I Gotcha Back'
GZA 'Liquid Swords'
GZA 'Shadowboxin' (feat. Method Man)'
Heltah Skeltah 'Operation Lockdown'
Heltah Skeltah 'I Ain't Having That (feat. Starang Wondah & Doc Holiday)'
Horace Brown 'Things We Do For Love (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Ice Cube 'It Was A Good Day'
Ill Al Skratch 'Where My Homies'
Ill Al Skratch 'I'll Take Her (feat. Brian McKnight)'
Jagged Edge 'I Gotta Be'
Jay-Z 'Ain't No Nigga (feat. Foxy Brown)'
Jay-Z 'Brooklyn's Finest (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Jay-Z 'Dead Presidents'
Jay-Z 'Feelin' It'
Jay-Z 'Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)'
Jay-Z 'Jigga My Nigga'
Jay-Z 'So Ghetto'
Jay-Z 'Streets Is Watching'
Jay-Z 'Where I'm From'
Jeru The Damaja 'Come Clean'
Jodeci 'Come & Talk To Me'
Jodeci 'Freakin' You (Remix feat. Raekwon & Ghostface)'
Joe 'All The Things (Your Man Won't Do)'
Junior Mafia 'Get Money (Remix)'
Junior Mafia 'I Need You Tonight (feat. Aaliyah)'
Junior Mafia 'Player's Anthem'
Junior Mafia 'Realms Of Junior Mafia'
Juvenile 'Ha (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Keith Murray 'Most Beautifullest Thing In This World'
Keith Sweat 'Nobody'
Killarmy 'Fair, Love & War'
Kool G Rap 'Fast Life (feat. Nas)'
KRS-One 'MC's Act Like They Don't Know'
KRS-One 'Step Into A World (Rapture's Delight)'
Lauryn Hill 'Lost Ones'
Lil Kim 'Crush On You (feat. Lil Cease)'
LL Cool J 'Doin' It'
LL Cool J 'Hey Lover (feat. Boyz II Men)'
LL Cool J 'I Shot Ya (Remix feat. Keith Murray, Prodigy, Fat Joe & Foxy Brown)'
LL Cool J 'Loungin' (Remix feat. Total)'
LL Cool J '4, 3, 2, 1 (feat. Method Man, Redman, Canibus & DMX)'
Lord Finesse 'Hip 2 Da Game (Buckwild Remix)'
Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz 'Deja Vu'
Lost Boyz 'Beasts From The East (feat. Canibus & Redman)'
Lost Boyz 'Lifestyles Of The Rich & Shameless'
Lost Boyz 'Jeeps, Lex Coupes, Bimaz & Benz'
Lost Boyz 'Music Makes Me High'
Lost Boyz 'Renee'
Lox 'If You Think I'm Jiggy'
Lox 'Money, Power, Respect (feat. Lil Kim & DMX)'
LSG 'My Body'
Luniz 'I Got 5 On It'
Mad Skillz 'The Nod Factor'
Mariah Carey 'Breakdown (feat. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony)'
Mariah Carey 'Fantasy (Remix feat. ODB)'
Mary J. Blige 'Be Happy'
Mary J. Blige 'I Love You'
Mary J. Blige 'Real Love (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Masta Ace 'The I.N.C. Ride'
Mase 'Feels So Good'
Mase '24 Hours To Live (feat. Lox, DMX & Black Rob)'
MC Lyte 'Cold Rock A Party'
Method Man 'All I Need (Remix feat. Mary J. Blige)'
Method Man 'Bring The Pain'
Method Man 'Make Ups 2 Break Ups (feat. D'Angelo)'
Method Man 'Release Yo Delf'
Method Man & Redman 'Da Rockwilder'
Method Man & Redman 'How High'
Mic Geronimo 'Masta I.C.'
Mic Geronimo 'Shit Is Real'
Missy Elliott 'All N My Grill (feat. Nicole & Big Boi)'
Missy Elliott 'The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)'
Missy Elliott 'Sock It To Me (feat. Da Brat)'
Mobb Deep 'Drop A Gem On 'Em'
Mobb Deep 'Give Up The Goods (Just Step) (feat. Big Noyd)'
Mobb Deep 'Hell On Earth'
Mobb Deep 'Quiet Storm (Remix feat. Lil Kim)'
Mobb Deep 'Shook Ones (Part II)'
Mobb Deep 'Survival Of The Fittest'
Mona Lisa 'Can't Be Wasting My Time (feat. Lost Boyz)'
Monica 'Don't Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days)'
Monica 'Like This & Like That'
Monifah 'I Miss You (feat. Heavy D)'
Mos Def 'Ms. Fat Booty'
Mya 'Best Of Me (Remix feat. Jay-Z)'
Mya 'It's All About Me (feat. Sisqo)'
Nas 'If I Ruled The World (feat. Lauryn Hill)'
Nas 'It Ain't Hard To Tell'
Nas 'The Message'
Nas 'Nas Is Like'
Nas 'One Love'
Nas 'Sweet Dreams (Remix feat. R. Kelly)'
Nas 'The World Is Yours'
Next 'Too Close'
Nine 'What Cha Want'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Big Poppa'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Hypnotize'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Juicy'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Mo Money, Mo Problems (feat. Mase & P. Diddy)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Notorious Thugs (feat. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'One More Chance (Remix)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Sky's The Limit (feat. 112)'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Unbelievable'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Warning'
Notorious B.I.G. 'Who Shot Ya'
Noreaga 'Banned From TV (feat. Nature, Big Pun, Cam'ron & Lox)'
Noreaga 'Super Thug'
NWA 'Straight Outta Compton'
O.C. 'Time's Up'
OGC 'No Fear'
Ol Dirty Bastard 'Brooklyn Zoo'
Ol Dirty Bastard 'Shimmy Shimmy Ya'
Onyx 'Last Dayz'
Onyx 'Shut 'Em Down (Remix feat. Noreaga & Big Pun)'
OutKast 'ATLiens'
OutKast 'Elevators (Me & You)'
OutKast feat. Goodie Mob 'Git Up, Git Out'
OutKast 'Skew It On The Bar-B (feat. Raekwon)'
OutKast 'Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik'
OutKast 'Wheelz Of Steel'
Pete Rock & CL Smooth 'I Got A Love'
Pete Rock & CL Smooth 'They Reminisce Over You'
Pharcyde 'Drop'
Pharcyde 'Runnin''
Pharoahe Monch 'Simon Says'
Playa 'Cheers 2 U'
Public Enemy 'Public Enemy No. 1'
Puff Daddy 'All About The Benjamins (Remix feat. Lox, Lil Kim & Notorious B.I.G.)'
Puff Daddy 'Been Around The World (Remix feat. Mase)'
Puff Daddy 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down (feat. Mase)'
Puff Daddy 'Victory (feat. Notorious B.I.G. & Busta Rhymes)'
R. Kelly 'Bump N' Grind'
R. Kelly 'Your Body's Callin''
Raekwon 'Criminology'
Raekwon 'Ice Cream (feat. Ghostface, Cappadonna & Method Man)'
Raekwon 'Incarcerated Scarfaces'
Rakim 'It's Been A Long Time'
Rakim 'New York (Ya Out There)'
Rampage 'Wild For Da Night (feat. Busta Rhymes)'
Ras Kass 'Soul On Ice (Diamond D Remix)'
Redman 'Da Goodness (feat. Busta Rhymes)'
Redman 'I'll Bee Dat'
Redman 'Time 4 Sum Aksion'
Redman 'Tonight's The Night'
Roots 'Clones'
Roots 'Concerto Of The Desperado'
Roots 'Proceed'
Roots 'What They Do (feat. Raphael Saadiq)'
Roots 'You Got Me (feat. Erykah Badu)'
Royal Flush 'Iced Down Medallions (feat. Noreaga)'
Royce Da 5'9 'Boom'
Show & AG 'Next Level'
Slick Rick 'Children's Story'
Slick Rick 'Mona Lisa'
Slick Rick 'Sitting In My Car'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Bucktown'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Sound Bwoy Bureill'
Smif-N-Wessun 'Wreckonize (Remix)'
Smoothe Da Hustler 'Broken Language (feat. Trigga The Gambler)'
Snoop Dogg 'Gin & Juice'
Snoop Dogg 'Who Am I (What's My Name?)'
Sparkle 'Be Careful (feat. R. Kelly)'
Subway 'Fire'
Soul For Real 'Candy Rain'
Soul For Real 'Every Little Thing I Do'
SWV 'Can We (feat. SWV)'
SWV 'Right Here (Human Nature)'
Tha Alkaholiks 'Daaam!'
TLC 'Creep'
TLC 'Red Light Special'
Total 'Can't You See (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)'
Tracey Lee 'The Theme (It's Party Time)'
Usher 'U Make Me Wanna'
Warren G 'Regulate (feat. Nate Dogg)'
Westside Connection 'Bow Down'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Ain't Nuthing To Fuck Wit'
Wu-Tang Clan 'C.R.E.A.M.'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Protect Ya Neck'
Wu-Tang Clan 'Triumph'
Wyclef Jean 'Gone Till November (Remix feat. R. Kelly & Canibus)'
Wyclef Jean 'Guantanamera (feat. Celia Cruz)'
Xscape 'Just Kickin' It'
Xzibit 'Foundation'
Xzibit 'Paparazzi'
112 'Only You (Remix feat. Mase & Notorious B.I.G.)'
2 Pac 'Dear Mama'
2 Pac 'Hail Mary'
2 Pac 'So Many Tears'
2 Pac 'Temptations'
702 'Steelo (feat. Missy Elliott)'
Thank you for the read and God bless the 90's!
Sincerely,
GeeQue
90's Rap Guru
Monday, January 6, 2014
BEST OF SNL MUSIC VIDEOS (FALL SEASON '13)
Hey!
I told y'all I'd be back here more often. Don't look so surprised, sucka.
My busy schedule (which really isn't that busy but I say that because it makes me feel important) doesn't allow me to watch too much TV. With 'The Office' (one of my fav shows ever) ending its run recently, I've been left with even fewer options.
One mainstay has been Saturday Night Live, which the cool kids simply refer to as SNL. Been watching the show for years. However, SNL hit a complete slump about 2-3 years back. Frankly, it was painful to watch. The shame was there was tons of talent on the show. Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader... all potential stars who struggled making the sub-par material laughable. And to make matters worse, they all bolted before the summer.
That left SNL in complete rebuilding mode. Safe to say, my expectations for this season were not particularly high. Halfway through the season, amazingly, the show has found its mojo again. The writers deserve a bulk of the credit, as they have kept things simple when in past seasons, it just seemed like they were trying too hard. Also, SNL has hit home runs with a lot of their hosts. From expected funnyman Paul Rudd to surprisingly humorous Edward Norton, the celebs visiting for the week have held their own.
One painful omission that left once Andy Samberg took his talents to 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' was their mock music videos. Whether it was the Lonely Island-assisted 'Jizz In My Pants' to the memorable Justin Timberlake holiday duet 'Dick In A Box', these clips were generally great successes. This season, SNL seemed to put some focus on this much-needed element and, just like in the Samberg days, knocked it out the park.
Here are the three that stood out. I've watched each of these clips way too many times, but I know they're good because I'm not sick of them yet. Which is the funniest? I'll let you decide... but these videos deserved to be highlighted here.
'Twin Bed' (feat. Jimmy Fallon)
OK, I think this one is my favorite. This clip made me realize that A) I don't hate Jimmy Fallon nearly as much as I thought. B) I don't hate him at all. C) Actually, I think I love him a little. And D) I am oddly attracted to all of the female SNL cast members. I especially have a thing for that sexy Cecily Strong. I don't know what it is about her. She's not the prettiest out the bunch but something about her makes me go aaaahhhooooggggaaaa!
'Boy Dance Party' (feat. Bruce Willis)
If there was a dud on this season, it might've been the Bruce Willis episode. This one video salvaged some of it, though. Even though he's past his prime, when you get a star as big as Bruce to dance around foolishly, laughter will ensue. Biggest reason I love this clip: This is how 97% of my bro gatherings end up going. And yes, I am the one usually swinging that sack.
What Does My Girl Say? (feat. Kerry Washington)
If you read my 'Favorite 40 Songs of 2013' blog, you know that I absolutely loved Ylvis' 'The Fox' song. Totally ridiculous but freakin' hilarious. So you could imagine my joy when SNL decided to mock this already insane song and add the yummy-licious Kerry Washington to the mix. We all win.
Here's hoping SNL continues it's hot streak when they return on January 18th. It would be no shock if they attempt another one of these as the host (and musical guest) is Drake.
I told y'all I'd be back here more often. Don't look so surprised, sucka.
My busy schedule (which really isn't that busy but I say that because it makes me feel important) doesn't allow me to watch too much TV. With 'The Office' (one of my fav shows ever) ending its run recently, I've been left with even fewer options.
One mainstay has been Saturday Night Live, which the cool kids simply refer to as SNL. Been watching the show for years. However, SNL hit a complete slump about 2-3 years back. Frankly, it was painful to watch. The shame was there was tons of talent on the show. Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader... all potential stars who struggled making the sub-par material laughable. And to make matters worse, they all bolted before the summer.
That left SNL in complete rebuilding mode. Safe to say, my expectations for this season were not particularly high. Halfway through the season, amazingly, the show has found its mojo again. The writers deserve a bulk of the credit, as they have kept things simple when in past seasons, it just seemed like they were trying too hard. Also, SNL has hit home runs with a lot of their hosts. From expected funnyman Paul Rudd to surprisingly humorous Edward Norton, the celebs visiting for the week have held their own.
One painful omission that left once Andy Samberg took his talents to 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' was their mock music videos. Whether it was the Lonely Island-assisted 'Jizz In My Pants' to the memorable Justin Timberlake holiday duet 'Dick In A Box', these clips were generally great successes. This season, SNL seemed to put some focus on this much-needed element and, just like in the Samberg days, knocked it out the park.
Here are the three that stood out. I've watched each of these clips way too many times, but I know they're good because I'm not sick of them yet. Which is the funniest? I'll let you decide... but these videos deserved to be highlighted here.
'Twin Bed' (feat. Jimmy Fallon)
OK, I think this one is my favorite. This clip made me realize that A) I don't hate Jimmy Fallon nearly as much as I thought. B) I don't hate him at all. C) Actually, I think I love him a little. And D) I am oddly attracted to all of the female SNL cast members. I especially have a thing for that sexy Cecily Strong. I don't know what it is about her. She's not the prettiest out the bunch but something about her makes me go aaaahhhooooggggaaaa!
'Boy Dance Party' (feat. Bruce Willis)
If there was a dud on this season, it might've been the Bruce Willis episode. This one video salvaged some of it, though. Even though he's past his prime, when you get a star as big as Bruce to dance around foolishly, laughter will ensue. Biggest reason I love this clip: This is how 97% of my bro gatherings end up going. And yes, I am the one usually swinging that sack.
What Does My Girl Say? (feat. Kerry Washington)
If you read my 'Favorite 40 Songs of 2013' blog, you know that I absolutely loved Ylvis' 'The Fox' song. Totally ridiculous but freakin' hilarious. So you could imagine my joy when SNL decided to mock this already insane song and add the yummy-licious Kerry Washington to the mix. We all win.
Here's hoping SNL continues it's hot streak when they return on January 18th. It would be no shock if they attempt another one of these as the host (and musical guest) is Drake.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
My favorite 40 songs of 2013
Remember me? :D
Let's get the obligatory "Happy New Years!' shit out the way. Hope 2014 is kind to ya. Truth is, for all the great shit 2013 brought to me, more blog posts was not one of them. But it's a new year, new me! Just kidding... I hate when people say that. However, I am gonna start on a positive note and give you an original piece... and one that often stirs up some emotion.
It's my favorite songs of 2013!
I doubt anyone besides myself will notice that I didn't post one of these for 2012. Was it because the music was so atrocious that I decided to skip one altogether? No, actually. I have the list, and it's delightful! It may sound like a lame excuse but I just never got around to posting it. I vowed to never make that mistake again so I'm giving y'all muthafuckas this list. Read it and love it.
One slight change from the last time I posted one of these: I made it a top 40 instead of a top 50. This was not something I planned on doing before making the list but I felt like I was reaching by adding on 10 more songs just 'cause. Less is more and all that. To compensate, I added blurbs to just about every song, because I'm sure you wanted to read more of my expert analysis.
As always, a refresher to the criteria: These are MY favorite songs of the past year. Not the BEST. Not the most POPULAR. Just my FAVORITE. (Envision me yelling every time you see something in caps) I write this because while you can offer your opinion and feelings on what your fav jams of 2013 were, this list is hard to debate because it's the shit I like. You'll notice a lot of dance songs on here. Yeah, 'cause a dude was hitting the treadmill hard last year (until that one day in November when I killed it running 3 miles in something like 25 minutes and sprained my foot so bad I could hardly walk on it for the next week). In response to the lack of hip-hop (my preferred genre of music, if you didn't know), I say show me where to get some and I'm there. Unfortunately, I'm not able to be online all day searching for underground shit to satisfy my rap urges (I just put on some 90's shit for that) and the new shit, especially the mainstream stuff, is horrible.
OK, here's the list. Have fun and hopefully I will speak to you guys a lot more in 2014. Enjoy!
40. Bruno Mars 'Treasure'
Saw him in concert last year, amazeballs!
39. Daft Punk feat. Pharrell 'Get Lucky'
How smooth was this? Perfect summer song
38. Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc 'Wake Me Up'
Liked Aloe Blacc ever since 'I Need A Dollar'
37. Haim 'The Wire'
Thought they were strange when I saw them on SNL but this rocks
36. Action Bronson feat. LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks 'Strictly 4 My Jeeps'
Would love to see hear more NY rap like this in '14
35. B.o.B 'Missing'
Underappreciated MC who always speaks his mind
34. Jay-Z 'Picasso Baby'
33. Drake feat. Jay-Z 'Pound Cake'
Surprisingly, my fav MC ever doesn't crack the top 25
32. Big Sean feat. Kendrick Lamar & Jay Electronica 'Control'
Verse of the year candidate by Kendrick. Got damn!
31. Icona Pop 'I Love It'
Two Swedish chicks yelling about crashing their car? Yes, please!
30. M.I.A. 'Y.A.L.A.'
This is what happens when you shazam songs from commercials
29. Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull 'Live It Up'
Every time these two hook up, they make it on here
28. Rihanna 'What Now'
Finally dropped as a single. Best song off of 'Unapologetic'
27. Sevyn Streeter feat. Chris Brown 'It Won't Stop (Remix)'
She might not have the best voice but this is so smooth
26. Ludacris 'Hell Of A Night'
Luda always kills these light, fun club songs
25. Britney Spears 'Til It's Gone'
24. Pitbull feat. Kelly Rowland 'That High'
Both dropped at the end of the year but they've been on repeat heavy
23. Sam & The Womp 'Bom Bom'
22. Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock 'A Little Party Never Killed Nobody'
This is what happens when you occasionally watch 'Dancing W/ The Stars'
21. Afrojack feat. Chris Brown 'As Your Friend'
20. Will.I.Am feat. Chris Brown 'Let's Go'
Fuck rehab, Breezy. Just make a dance album with shit like this on it
19. J. Cole feat. Amber Coffman 'She Knows'
Couldn't get into the album but this bangs
18. Mack Wilds 'Own It'
This feels so New York. Kudos to the remix w/ Jadakiss, too
17. Kid Cudi 'Young Lady'
'Indacud' was one of my fav albums in '13
16. Eminem 'So Much Better'
When Em drops an album, he's guaranteed a spot on my list
15. Sia feat. The Weeknd & Diplo 'Elastic Heart'
The 'Titanium' chick strikes again!
14. Tegan & Sara 'Closer'
I can now cross 'liking a song by Canadian lesbian twins' off my bucket list
13. One Republic 'Counting Stars'
'No more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars' YES
12. Ylvis 'The Fox (What Does The Fox Say)'
Anyone who knows me knows this could easily be my #1. Hilarious!
11. Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding 'I Need Your Love'
Loved this even more after I saw the video
And now, I present my favorite 10 songs of 2013!
10. Miley Cyrus 'We Can't Stop'
I tried to fight it. I really did. But the fight was not a fair one. For all the negative things I can say about her (and trust me, I realize that she's an industry puppet who's playing out this ridiculous character for attention), I have to give credit where it's due. Shit, even I was twerking to this.
09. A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera 'Say Something'
Jay-Z famously said 'sensitive thugs, y'all all need hugs.' Well, dammit, I need a hug and I need it now. Is this depressing? Uhhhh HELL YEAH. This is the song you play right before your disaster of a relationship comes to an end. Pillows are soaking up tears to this shit right here. You're gripping your teddy bear extra tight. But sometimes pain sounds so beautiful.
08. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 'Can't Hold Us'
Are they corny? Sure. A song like 'Thrift Shop' wasn't going to change that (although I love the message). This? Yeah, this is serious. Any MC who would've rapped over this beat with that hook would've made it into a banger, but they didn't get that chance. Macklemore did. And that makes him one lucky, successful ass dude.
07. Pusha T feat. Future 'Pain'
I hate Future. Seriously, I do. If you replaced him with T-Pain on any song he's on, the song is instantly 10000x better. But that's how much I love this song... that I could bare his down-syndrome sounding ass on the hook. And for that, and many other reasons, Push wins rap album of the year accolades in my book.
06. Joell Ortiz 'Roll Deep'
Let's see what we have in play here: A dope NY MC, who just so happens to be Puerto Rican, rhyming over a hard beat that samples Big Pun AND Frankie Cutlass? How can this NOT be in my top 10? 'I'm in here going pernil, that's one step up from ham'. Songs like this remind me that I still love H.E.R.
05. Drake feat. 2 Chainz & Big Sean 'All Me'
From the moment Drake says 'Got everything, I got everything', you know shit's about to go down. Wouldn't consider myself a fan of any of these dudes but when you can get the best out of all 3 of them over a beat like this with a memorable hook, you have a great anthem.
04. Neighbourhood 'Sweater Weather'
It wasn't until recently (and by recently, I mean last night) that I realized that the lead singer is a dude. And that's probably not a great sign. But trust me when I tell you that something about this song just feels good. Maybe because it feels like California and I was in LA in June (show-off alert!) but I digs this.
03. Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell 'Blurred Lines'
Here's where I brag about downloading this song (and not illegally, either!) in April, way before the frenzy. I'm a visionary! May I add that I previously hated Robin Thicke. He didn't feel authentic to me, and in his past efforts he sounded like he was trying too hard. But Pharrell LACED him. Add the simplistic, yet genius video and you have what was possibly the biggest song of '13.
02. Capital Cities 'Safe & Sound'
A cool dude like myself (ahem) listens to cool music. And this, my friends, is cool. Although they're essentially repeating the same four lines over and over again, the vibe of this song (mainly due to the awesome use of horns) is just... cool. Also doubles as one of my favorite videos of the year.
01. Lorde 'Royals'
I remember the day so vividly. I was in the passenger side of the whip, radio on blast, and both Hot 97 and Power 105 (NYC desperately needs a better 'urban' station) had commercials on so I (tentatively) switched to z100. And that's the moment I fell in love with this song. And then Rick Ross added a verse on it and, surprisingly, didn't ruin it. Yes, this song is amazing. Yes, this is my favorite song of 2014. And yes, you can call me queen bee.
Another year, another list. What were your favorites of 2013? I probably won't care but feel free to let me know. Just kidding! Kind of.
Let's get the obligatory "Happy New Years!' shit out the way. Hope 2014 is kind to ya. Truth is, for all the great shit 2013 brought to me, more blog posts was not one of them. But it's a new year, new me! Just kidding... I hate when people say that. However, I am gonna start on a positive note and give you an original piece... and one that often stirs up some emotion.
It's my favorite songs of 2013!
I doubt anyone besides myself will notice that I didn't post one of these for 2012. Was it because the music was so atrocious that I decided to skip one altogether? No, actually. I have the list, and it's delightful! It may sound like a lame excuse but I just never got around to posting it. I vowed to never make that mistake again so I'm giving y'all muthafuckas this list. Read it and love it.
One slight change from the last time I posted one of these: I made it a top 40 instead of a top 50. This was not something I planned on doing before making the list but I felt like I was reaching by adding on 10 more songs just 'cause. Less is more and all that. To compensate, I added blurbs to just about every song, because I'm sure you wanted to read more of my expert analysis.
As always, a refresher to the criteria: These are MY favorite songs of the past year. Not the BEST. Not the most POPULAR. Just my FAVORITE. (Envision me yelling every time you see something in caps) I write this because while you can offer your opinion and feelings on what your fav jams of 2013 were, this list is hard to debate because it's the shit I like. You'll notice a lot of dance songs on here. Yeah, 'cause a dude was hitting the treadmill hard last year (until that one day in November when I killed it running 3 miles in something like 25 minutes and sprained my foot so bad I could hardly walk on it for the next week). In response to the lack of hip-hop (my preferred genre of music, if you didn't know), I say show me where to get some and I'm there. Unfortunately, I'm not able to be online all day searching for underground shit to satisfy my rap urges (I just put on some 90's shit for that) and the new shit, especially the mainstream stuff, is horrible.
OK, here's the list. Have fun and hopefully I will speak to you guys a lot more in 2014. Enjoy!
40. Bruno Mars 'Treasure'
Saw him in concert last year, amazeballs!
39. Daft Punk feat. Pharrell 'Get Lucky'
How smooth was this? Perfect summer song
38. Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc 'Wake Me Up'
Liked Aloe Blacc ever since 'I Need A Dollar'
37. Haim 'The Wire'
Thought they were strange when I saw them on SNL but this rocks
36. Action Bronson feat. LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks 'Strictly 4 My Jeeps'
Would love to see hear more NY rap like this in '14
35. B.o.B 'Missing'
Underappreciated MC who always speaks his mind
34. Jay-Z 'Picasso Baby'
33. Drake feat. Jay-Z 'Pound Cake'
Surprisingly, my fav MC ever doesn't crack the top 25
32. Big Sean feat. Kendrick Lamar & Jay Electronica 'Control'
Verse of the year candidate by Kendrick. Got damn!
31. Icona Pop 'I Love It'
Two Swedish chicks yelling about crashing their car? Yes, please!
30. M.I.A. 'Y.A.L.A.'
This is what happens when you shazam songs from commercials
29. Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull 'Live It Up'
Every time these two hook up, they make it on here
28. Rihanna 'What Now'
Finally dropped as a single. Best song off of 'Unapologetic'
27. Sevyn Streeter feat. Chris Brown 'It Won't Stop (Remix)'
She might not have the best voice but this is so smooth
26. Ludacris 'Hell Of A Night'
Luda always kills these light, fun club songs
25. Britney Spears 'Til It's Gone'
24. Pitbull feat. Kelly Rowland 'That High'
Both dropped at the end of the year but they've been on repeat heavy
23. Sam & The Womp 'Bom Bom'
22. Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock 'A Little Party Never Killed Nobody'
This is what happens when you occasionally watch 'Dancing W/ The Stars'
21. Afrojack feat. Chris Brown 'As Your Friend'
20. Will.I.Am feat. Chris Brown 'Let's Go'
Fuck rehab, Breezy. Just make a dance album with shit like this on it
19. J. Cole feat. Amber Coffman 'She Knows'
Couldn't get into the album but this bangs
18. Mack Wilds 'Own It'
This feels so New York. Kudos to the remix w/ Jadakiss, too
17. Kid Cudi 'Young Lady'
'Indacud' was one of my fav albums in '13
16. Eminem 'So Much Better'
When Em drops an album, he's guaranteed a spot on my list
15. Sia feat. The Weeknd & Diplo 'Elastic Heart'
The 'Titanium' chick strikes again!
14. Tegan & Sara 'Closer'
I can now cross 'liking a song by Canadian lesbian twins' off my bucket list
13. One Republic 'Counting Stars'
'No more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars' YES
12. Ylvis 'The Fox (What Does The Fox Say)'
Anyone who knows me knows this could easily be my #1. Hilarious!
11. Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding 'I Need Your Love'
Loved this even more after I saw the video
And now, I present my favorite 10 songs of 2013!
10. Miley Cyrus 'We Can't Stop'
I tried to fight it. I really did. But the fight was not a fair one. For all the negative things I can say about her (and trust me, I realize that she's an industry puppet who's playing out this ridiculous character for attention), I have to give credit where it's due. Shit, even I was twerking to this.
09. A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera 'Say Something'
Jay-Z famously said 'sensitive thugs, y'all all need hugs.' Well, dammit, I need a hug and I need it now. Is this depressing? Uhhhh HELL YEAH. This is the song you play right before your disaster of a relationship comes to an end. Pillows are soaking up tears to this shit right here. You're gripping your teddy bear extra tight. But sometimes pain sounds so beautiful.
08. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 'Can't Hold Us'
Are they corny? Sure. A song like 'Thrift Shop' wasn't going to change that (although I love the message). This? Yeah, this is serious. Any MC who would've rapped over this beat with that hook would've made it into a banger, but they didn't get that chance. Macklemore did. And that makes him one lucky, successful ass dude.
07. Pusha T feat. Future 'Pain'
I hate Future. Seriously, I do. If you replaced him with T-Pain on any song he's on, the song is instantly 10000x better. But that's how much I love this song... that I could bare his down-syndrome sounding ass on the hook. And for that, and many other reasons, Push wins rap album of the year accolades in my book.
06. Joell Ortiz 'Roll Deep'
Let's see what we have in play here: A dope NY MC, who just so happens to be Puerto Rican, rhyming over a hard beat that samples Big Pun AND Frankie Cutlass? How can this NOT be in my top 10? 'I'm in here going pernil, that's one step up from ham'. Songs like this remind me that I still love H.E.R.
05. Drake feat. 2 Chainz & Big Sean 'All Me'
From the moment Drake says 'Got everything, I got everything', you know shit's about to go down. Wouldn't consider myself a fan of any of these dudes but when you can get the best out of all 3 of them over a beat like this with a memorable hook, you have a great anthem.
04. Neighbourhood 'Sweater Weather'
It wasn't until recently (and by recently, I mean last night) that I realized that the lead singer is a dude. And that's probably not a great sign. But trust me when I tell you that something about this song just feels good. Maybe because it feels like California and I was in LA in June (show-off alert!) but I digs this.
03. Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell 'Blurred Lines'
Here's where I brag about downloading this song (and not illegally, either!) in April, way before the frenzy. I'm a visionary! May I add that I previously hated Robin Thicke. He didn't feel authentic to me, and in his past efforts he sounded like he was trying too hard. But Pharrell LACED him. Add the simplistic, yet genius video and you have what was possibly the biggest song of '13.
02. Capital Cities 'Safe & Sound'
A cool dude like myself (ahem) listens to cool music. And this, my friends, is cool. Although they're essentially repeating the same four lines over and over again, the vibe of this song (mainly due to the awesome use of horns) is just... cool. Also doubles as one of my favorite videos of the year.
01. Lorde 'Royals'
I remember the day so vividly. I was in the passenger side of the whip, radio on blast, and both Hot 97 and Power 105 (NYC desperately needs a better 'urban' station) had commercials on so I (tentatively) switched to z100. And that's the moment I fell in love with this song. And then Rick Ross added a verse on it and, surprisingly, didn't ruin it. Yes, this song is amazing. Yes, this is my favorite song of 2014. And yes, you can call me queen bee.
Another year, another list. What were your favorites of 2013? I probably won't care but feel free to let me know. Just kidding! Kind of.
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