Greetings, mutants!
As you may (or should) have read by now, my favorite 30 songs of 2015 are in the books. Awesome anthems like 'Bad Blood', 'I Can't Feel My Face' and 'Uptown Funk' made last year magical. But not magical enough. Sadly, musical geniuses like Taylor Swift, The Weeknd and Bruno Mars were outnumbered by tone deaf trolls who continue to pollute the airwaves with their over-saturated tunes.
In an effort to highlight the biggest offenders, last year I began to list my LEAST favorite songs of the year. Because they need some love, too. And I'm not gonna lie... I am starting to enjoy this more than listing my actual favorites. This is like my therapy... being able to pound on the keyboard and shit on all these scam artists posing as recording artists.
Well, my friends, this year will be no different. My wrath will be unleashed once again! *clears throat* OK quick reminder... I only focused on songs that were mainstream relevant. No need to point the finger on some fucktard's mixtape that he's harassing tourists to buy in Times Square. The bigger the impact these songs made, the more likely they were to piss me off.
It's go time. I present to you... my least favorite songs of 2015.
Fetty Wap 'Trap Queen'
From the moment I heard this travesty, I knew it would be on this list. The fact that this is arguably one of the biggest hits of 2015 is an indictment on how dumbed down the audience has become. Fans of this trash are going to say I am unreasonably sour on this song but tell me, what do you like about it? Is it the off-key belting? Or maybe it's the solid content, praising birds who handle drugs for their scumbag boyfriends? Oh, that's right... it's catchy. If you have this on your playlist, there's a warm place in hell for your tasteless ass.
Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo 'Time Of Our Lives'
After appearing on my top songs of the year list repeatedly, Pitbull appeared on the worst song list last year for his collaboration with that skank Ke$ha. Now he drags poor Ne-Yo into the mix with one of the worst written songs of '15. Here's the gem of a chorus:
I knew my rent was gon' be late about a week ago
I worked my ass off, but I still can't pay it though
But I got just enough to get up in this club
Have me a good time, before my time is up
Wonderful message. Hey kids, fuck your rent... go to the club and waste your money on overpriced alcoholic beverages while you listen to rubbish like this!
Meghan Trainor 'Dear Future Husband'
I really wanted to put anything this culture vulture sings but I will narrow it down to one of her corny ass songs. Ever since I heard 'All About That Bass', I knew this snowflake was up to no good, defacing old school soul music by slapping a big, fat pasty face on it. It's a shame we struggle to highlight black soul singers but are quick to promote melanin-challenged muthafuckas like this who are nothing but cheap imitations. Speaking of which...
Charlie Pugh feat. Meghan Trainor 'Marvin Gaye'
You thought you were off the hook, Meghan? Well not so fast! Now your equally annoying sidekick is gonna get some, too. It's one thing ripping off black music, but then having the audacity to use a legendary black singer as the title of the song? Oh no he didn't. Yeah, I know Charlie, you were aight on that Wiz track and maybe your chorus made a few folks shed some tears for Paul, but that doesn't earn you a 'get out of jail free' card. 'Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on?' Both of you, go somewhere deserted and take your watered down, soul-lacking 'soul music' with you.
Usher feat. Juicy J 'I Don't Mind'
Just when you thought Pitbull & Ne-Yo had the 'worst written song of the year' award wrapped up, here comes this little gem. So apprarently, this song is about dating a stripper and being able to see past the obvious obstacles because, despite her shaking her culo in front of a bunch of derelicts, she's still leaving the club with you. And you know what? I'm willing to look past that, because there are a handful of dancers who are swallowing their pride so they can put themselves through school or feed their kids. But here's the problem...
'I make enough for the both of us, but you dance anyway'
Yes, that's an actual lyric from this shit-fest of a song. Ursher makes it clear that his income can comfortably support himself and this trick, but she still chooses to drop down and get her eagle on for singles. And here I thought stripping was a last resort to make some money. How foolish!
Rihanna & Kanye West feat. Paul McCartney 'Four Five Seconds'
Kanye West is married to Kim Kardashian... and I HATE Kim Kardashian. That association alone could land this song on this list. The biggest reason? Kanye's awful singing. Look, everybody can't be Drake. And really, why would someone as talented as Kanye want to follow that blueprint anyway? That singing shit ain't for everyone. To make matters worse, Rihanna slayed the track. Take out Yeezy, factor in the Beatles connection and RiRi might be taking home a grammy. You hear that, Kanye? You just cost Rihanna a grammy. Selfish prick.
Drake & Future 'Jumpman'
Speaking of Drake, what the fuck was this? Is this what the kids are listening to now-a-days? This is another case of addition by subtraction. Admittedly, this song would've avoided this list with just Drizzy. But just like practically everything in life, Future ruins it. What is the obsession with this dude? He sounds like someone with down syndrome being autotuned. Google the lyrics to this rubbage and tell me if I'm missing something. I know style has always played a big part in rap music but when it's 95% style and 5% substance, something has gotta change.
I think I got enough off my chest for one year. Let this be a message to all artists, regardless of genre... I'm watching you. Drop some basura in 2016 and I'm gonna be on yo' ass. GeeQue, out.
Showing posts with label Rihanna. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rihanna. Show all posts
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Sunday, February 8, 2015
LIVE 2015 GRAMMY COMMENTARY!
(All times in EST)
7:30 PM: Last year, I got the brilliant(?) idea to post a live-streaming blog of the 2014 Grammys. And boy, did it suck the life out of me. I had no idea that bitch was three and a half hours long. WTF? However, it was a huge success, and to this day, it has the most views of any blog post I have ever done.
So guess what? I'M BACK FOR MORE.
I will be going live at 8 PM, when the show starts. Reminder in case you weren't part of the epic experience last year: Stay on this link, refresh every few minutes, new material will appear, you will be entertained... I hope.
You know the sub-plots by now... will Sam Smith clean house? Which creepy, old dude will come out as a surprise guest? And how much will my love forTaylor Swift grow? Find out in 30 mins.!
8:01 PM: Lights, cameras, action, muthafuckas! LL Cool J, our host for the fourth year, starts off the program sounding like he's on speed. And the opening act... AC/DC. For the first time in years! Blah. Looks like we've already filled our creepy, old guy quota for the night. But I'll be damned if these seniors ain't rocking out.
8:04 PM: The lead singer is wearing a crusty kangol, a tight black tee and even tighter black pants. And everyone in the audience is wearing devil's horns. 'Highway To Hell' is right. Even Satan would be afraid to be in attendance.
8:07 PM: Yup, LL still sucks as a host. I think he's even worse than last year.
8:09 PM: TAYLOR SWIFT! YESSSSSSS! My heartbeat just accelerated.
8:10 PM: And the first award of the night, Best New Artist, goes to... Sam Smith. Probably the least shocking thing we'll see tonight, as he was a certified lock to win this award. Who did I want to win? Anyone other than that fraud Iggy.
8:17 PM: Anna Kendrick, the white chick I like, just introduced Ariana Grande, the white chick I can't stand. Wouldn't be surprised if I'm not deaf in at least one ear after this debacle.
8:19 PM: What the hell does Big Sean find attractive about this chick? She looks like she's 13. Never have the Grammy's felt more like a Junior High School prom.
8:21 PM: Tom Jones in the building! It should be mandatory for Alphonso Ribeiro to accompany him wherever he goes and do the Carlton dance. The guy just won 'Dancing With The Stars'... show him some freakin' respect.
8:24 PM: Has to be mentioned: The OG Tommy Jones is rocking that white afro real tough.
8:26 PM: Best Pop Solo Performance time! Hoping for Taylor Swift or Pharrell. And the winner is... 'HAPPY'! FUCK YEAH! My favorite song of 2014! (Go read the blog later) So last year, Pharrell made a fashion statement with his humongous hat. This year, he looks normal... from the waist up. Very sharp jacket, and you know I'm pro-bow tie. But then he's sporting basketball shorts? Why do you do the things that you do, P?
8:33 PM: Mrs. Black Shelton, Miranda Lambert, is about to perform, and she actually looks attractive. The song, about her lil red wagon, blows cock, though.
8:35 PM: They're like wooooooo! They're like ahhhhhh! OK maybe it's growing on me.
8:37 PM: Best Pop Vocal Album is about to go down, presented by that acapella group who's name I can never get right and a mummified Barry Gibbs. And it's Sam Smith, again. Looks like the big night for the male Adele is getting started. Am I the only one who thinks he looks nothing like he sounds like? When I first heard him, I thought there was a chance he might be a brotha. Or at least a husky, bearded hipster. Slightly disappointed he looks like a syrupy sissy.
8:44 PM: Kanye West just hit the stage, surprisingly for the first time in six years. He's singing a song Paul McCartney wrote, which means it will probably win a Grammy next year. You know those Grammy bastards love anything Beatles.
8:47 PM: Sir Paul has to be regretting the fact he gave this song to Kanye. I can't even tell if it's a well-written song or not because Kanye's auto-tuned vocals are taking a giant shit all over it.
8:48 PM: Two of the industry's biggest puppets, Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj, introduce the queen puppet, Madonna. Let the demonic symbolism commence!
8:49 PM: Dancers with horns? Check. Hell mention in the song? Check. Way to be subtle.
8:50 PM: We've officially reached the point where Madonna looks like the old chick at the club. I'm fully expecting her to start yelling 'DOORMAN' at any moment. Watching her thrust her decrepit pelvis out is making me uncomfortable.
8:55 PM: Best Rock Album is about to be announced, and I could care less who wins. Beck wins. Whoopie.
9:02 PM: Shocker... another Beatle wins an award. This time, George Harrison wins a Lifetime Achievement Award. Niles Rogers presents, looking like Lil Wayne in about 30 years. along with Smokey Robinson, who's eyes could not be opened wider.
9:04 PM: Best R&B Performance is given to Beyoncé. She's still getting awards? Seems like that album came out 3 years ago already.
9:05 PM: Funky ginger, aka Ed Sheeran, is on now. Does this dude ever comb his hair?
9:06 PM: I just realized that he says that he'll love the woman until she's 70. I always thought he was saying 17, which would've made this the official anthem for pedophiles worldwide.
9:09 PM: Forgot to say that he's joined on stage by John Mayer, who's proof that you could play that innocent, good guy role and still be a douchebag who catches mad bodies.
9:11 PM: I would say my musical expertise is on point, but I can say with a clear conscious that I have no idea who's on stage right now. Paul McCartney is excited so I'm guessing he's somewhat of a big deal, but I can't get past the fact that he looks like the love child of John Goodman and Ringo Starr (yes, another Beatles reference).
9:14 PM: Looks like it's the Electric Light Orchestra, for those who were waiting on the edge of their seats for me to figure that out.
9:15 PM: Ryan Seacrest, of 'American Idol' fame, introduces Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani, of 'The Voice'. I smell some reality singing competition show beef.
9:17 PM: Very cool song... but with all the upbeat hits that Ed Sheeran and Maroon 5 have, it's odd that they both sang ballads tonight. Someone better get this party started soon because I can't wait any longer to twerk.
9:25 PM: Awwww shit! My Hozier jam, 'Take Me To Church' is on now. Sprinkle some holy water all over these devils, my dude.
9:28 PM: Annie Lennox joins him and unlike most of these collaborations, she adds instead of subtracting. She's screaming 'AMEN' like she's about to catch the Holy Ghost. Goosebumps begin to form. We officially have a front runner for performance of the night.
9:31 PM: The Annie Lennox takeover is in full effect. WOW. For a woman who was just screaming 'Amen' a few minutes ago, she looks fuckin' possessed out her mind right now. This one is gonna be hard to beat.
9:32 PM: So Nick Jonas, who's song 'Jealous' I despise, is presenting for the genre I loathe the most, Best Country Album. Thank God Megan Trainor's sexy little Jewish ass is there next to him to distract me.
9:33 PM: Miranda Lambert wins. Blake looks on, creepily.
9:34 PM: The Weeknd comes out, who apparently my mom has never heard of, as she asks me why he doesn't like the weekdays. I don't know, Mom. I don't know.
9:35 PM: My brother Pharrell is up, looking like an usher. No, not Usher. An actual usher. From the theater. He may be happy... to show you to your seat. This ensemble also includes shorts, again. I'm guessing it's like 120 degrees over there since Pharrell refuses to wear pants.
9:36 PM: FINALLY! It's 'Happy' time! *starts twerking*
9:37 PM: In a mere six minutes, Hozier has some serious competition. Skateboard P!
9:44 PM: Obama talking about domestic violence. He's a week late if he wanted to reach the right audience.
9:47 PM: A spoken word from a domestic violence victim is followed by Katy Perry. All jokes aside, men that beat their women are cowards. One of my favorite artists of all-time, the late, GREAT 2 Pac, put it better than I ever could:
'And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women'
- 2 Pac 'Keep Ya Head Up'
BTW, if you're not impressed by how fast I pulled up that quote, then I don't know what to tell you.
9:52 PM: Katy did well, although I was kind of expecting Missy Elliott to be incorporated somehow. I'm spoiled.
9:55 PM: My mom and I are trying to figure out if this Imagine Dragons performance is part of the actual show. Turns out it was a commercial. Shit, even on a commercial break I can't relax.
10:00 PM: Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett reviving an American classic. I'm 99% sure Gaga is a demon, but hot damn she looks GOOD. I would say that I would hit that but her vagina may have teeth. I'm also convinced that Tony Bennett was forced to do this duet album, but he can't say anything because maybe someone has revealing pictures of him or something. A wrinkly dick pic, perhaps? Tony, blink twice if you're being forced to do this.
10:03 PM: The performances are coming non-stop this year. My fingers are cramping up hardcore. Can a brother get a moment to breathe? This time, Usher is doing a Stevie Wonder tribute. A tall order, for sure, as Stevie is one of the all-time greats. Dude is one of the last living legends around.
10:06 PM: OK, I know I just said Stevie is a legend... but he just came out, and he's the size of a fuckin' house. Somebody get this dude a copy of Insanity and a Planet Fitness membership quick. I gotta give him credit, though... those dreads are still hanging in there, albeit barely.
10:13 PM: Country performance. Time for a water break.
10:21 PM: Country crap is over, and now the performance I was really anticipating is on. Rihanna, Yeezy, Sir Paul. Unlike the last song Kanye sang, 'Four Five Seconds' hits the mark and looks like an early contender to be on my favorite songs of 2015 list.
10:23 PM: Rihanna is grabbing her balls.
10:24 PM: For a song that just came out, I'm impressed that so many people in the audience knew the words. Granted, two of those people were Kim Kardashian and Paul McCartney's wife, but still.
10:30 PM: TAYLOR! That's my boo, yo. And to think, at last year's show, I was beyond irritated with her. But is she not gonna perform? Really? I'm ready to shake it off in this bitch.
10:31 PM: The man of the night, Sam Smith, sings his monster hit, 'Stay With Me'. If they film another 'American Pie', Sam can definitely take on the role of Paul Finch.
10:32 PM: The queen of hip-hop soul, Mary J. Blige, joins him onstage, and the pairing seems natural. Mary J. is trying her best not to outshine the new jack, and she succeeds.
10:35 PM: Jane The Virgin introduces Juanes. Where my Latinos at? We bout to turn this into a Colombian fiesta.
10:37 PM: I have no idea what he is saying. The only word I can make it is the name of the song, 'Juntos', which means together. I think. I have failed as a Latino. To be fair, he is singing REALLY fast. Slow down, you show-off.
10:39 PM: Prince! Looking like a creamsicle. Not a great fashion night for music's legends.
10:41 PM: OK, the awards are heavy now. Album of the year, one of the night's biggest awards, is about to be given out... to BECK?! Didn't they give this award last year to Daft Punk, the duo with the doofy helmets that can't even speak? I swear they're intentionally picking the least entertaining artist to take home the hardware.
10:42 PM: Did Kanye really pretend like he was going to go onstage to pull a... Kanye? As obnoxious as he's been in the past, this time it would've been justified. And no, I haven't heard Beck's album... but it's BECK! Come on, son.
10:49 PM: Sia is hiding her face yet again. Her reason for not exposing her identity is that she believes music should be more about substance than image, and I love that. But have you googled a picture of Sia? Do it, there's pics of her out there. Yeah, now you know the real reason why she's hiding.
10:50 PM: Kristin Wig? No way! Kind of hard for me to take this performance seriously with one of SNL's funniest ladies doing an interpretive dance but because I have an undercover crush on her, I approve.
10:53: Song of the year time. No more joking around. A lot of big players in this, including mi corazon, Taylor. And the Grammy goes to... Sam Smith. Zzzzzz. Paul Finch, report to the stage one more time.
10:58 PM: Just wanted to mention that during the commercial break, my mom is PISSED over Sia's performance. Apparently, this stems from Sia having her back to the audience. Among the words she used to describe this are 'stupid' and 'rude'. I'm so happy I have her here to share her expert analysis.
11:03 PM: If Beck and Chris Martin want to have a snooze fest, why not do it at the beginning of the show? I'm fatigued, people. I've been blogging for three hours! I'm about to knock out.
11:06 PM: Stevie's back. No more fat jokes, I promise.
11:07 PM: How did he get so big, though? I feel like this happened quickly. Maybe he was hiding all that fluffiness behind his piano all these years?
11:08 PM: Sam Smith wins Record of the year. I don't even care anymore. I need a snack.
11:15 PM: Oh, great. It's that boring, bearded guy who talks every year about making sure music doesn't become extinct. Until the quality of music improves, I'm illegally downloading all that shit. Middle finger to the industry, ya heard.
11:18 PM: Now we remember those no longer with us. Some heavy hitters here... Joe Cocker, Bobby Womack, Robin Williams, Maya Angelou, Little Jimmy Dickens. No, I have no idea who Little Jimmy Dickens is, but when you have a name like that, I don't care if you're dead or alive, I'm putting you in my blog.
11:28 PM: It's Beyoncé's turn to perform but I gotta be honest... I am running out of steam. We still have another performance after this and you see the time. And yes, it's another ballad. Let me get my Mets blanket, I'm fading quickly.
11:30 PM: She sang wonderfully. Or at least I imagined she did.
11:31 PM: It finally looks it's send-off time, and this one looks like a winner. John Legend, Common, 'Glory' from 'Selma'. This is powerful music. If the industry released substance like this on a more consistent basis, we wouldn't need that bearded buffoon to tell us to support the industry. How about the industry supports us with some good music for the mind and soul? Something with meaning?
11:37 PM: Show is over. At least I think it is. Or hope it is. But I made it! Man, this isn't easy. But it might be harder to read this and keep up with the frequent updates, so if you got to this point, I sincerely thank you. Or as Sam Smith would say, thank you for 'staying with me'. Corny, I know, but what do you want? It's almost midnight! Goodnight, familia.
7:30 PM: Last year, I got the brilliant(?) idea to post a live-streaming blog of the 2014 Grammys. And boy, did it suck the life out of me. I had no idea that bitch was three and a half hours long. WTF? However, it was a huge success, and to this day, it has the most views of any blog post I have ever done.
So guess what? I'M BACK FOR MORE.
I will be going live at 8 PM, when the show starts. Reminder in case you weren't part of the epic experience last year: Stay on this link, refresh every few minutes, new material will appear, you will be entertained... I hope.
You know the sub-plots by now... will Sam Smith clean house? Which creepy, old dude will come out as a surprise guest? And how much will my love forTaylor Swift grow? Find out in 30 mins.!
8:01 PM: Lights, cameras, action, muthafuckas! LL Cool J, our host for the fourth year, starts off the program sounding like he's on speed. And the opening act... AC/DC. For the first time in years! Blah. Looks like we've already filled our creepy, old guy quota for the night. But I'll be damned if these seniors ain't rocking out.
8:04 PM: The lead singer is wearing a crusty kangol, a tight black tee and even tighter black pants. And everyone in the audience is wearing devil's horns. 'Highway To Hell' is right. Even Satan would be afraid to be in attendance.
8:07 PM: Yup, LL still sucks as a host. I think he's even worse than last year.
8:09 PM: TAYLOR SWIFT! YESSSSSSS! My heartbeat just accelerated.
8:10 PM: And the first award of the night, Best New Artist, goes to... Sam Smith. Probably the least shocking thing we'll see tonight, as he was a certified lock to win this award. Who did I want to win? Anyone other than that fraud Iggy.
8:17 PM: Anna Kendrick, the white chick I like, just introduced Ariana Grande, the white chick I can't stand. Wouldn't be surprised if I'm not deaf in at least one ear after this debacle.
8:19 PM: What the hell does Big Sean find attractive about this chick? She looks like she's 13. Never have the Grammy's felt more like a Junior High School prom.
8:21 PM: Tom Jones in the building! It should be mandatory for Alphonso Ribeiro to accompany him wherever he goes and do the Carlton dance. The guy just won 'Dancing With The Stars'... show him some freakin' respect.
8:24 PM: Has to be mentioned: The OG Tommy Jones is rocking that white afro real tough.
8:26 PM: Best Pop Solo Performance time! Hoping for Taylor Swift or Pharrell. And the winner is... 'HAPPY'! FUCK YEAH! My favorite song of 2014! (Go read the blog later) So last year, Pharrell made a fashion statement with his humongous hat. This year, he looks normal... from the waist up. Very sharp jacket, and you know I'm pro-bow tie. But then he's sporting basketball shorts? Why do you do the things that you do, P?
8:33 PM: Mrs. Black Shelton, Miranda Lambert, is about to perform, and she actually looks attractive. The song, about her lil red wagon, blows cock, though.
8:35 PM: They're like wooooooo! They're like ahhhhhh! OK maybe it's growing on me.
8:37 PM: Best Pop Vocal Album is about to go down, presented by that acapella group who's name I can never get right and a mummified Barry Gibbs. And it's Sam Smith, again. Looks like the big night for the male Adele is getting started. Am I the only one who thinks he looks nothing like he sounds like? When I first heard him, I thought there was a chance he might be a brotha. Or at least a husky, bearded hipster. Slightly disappointed he looks like a syrupy sissy.
8:44 PM: Kanye West just hit the stage, surprisingly for the first time in six years. He's singing a song Paul McCartney wrote, which means it will probably win a Grammy next year. You know those Grammy bastards love anything Beatles.
8:47 PM: Sir Paul has to be regretting the fact he gave this song to Kanye. I can't even tell if it's a well-written song or not because Kanye's auto-tuned vocals are taking a giant shit all over it.
8:48 PM: Two of the industry's biggest puppets, Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj, introduce the queen puppet, Madonna. Let the demonic symbolism commence!
8:49 PM: Dancers with horns? Check. Hell mention in the song? Check. Way to be subtle.
8:50 PM: We've officially reached the point where Madonna looks like the old chick at the club. I'm fully expecting her to start yelling 'DOORMAN' at any moment. Watching her thrust her decrepit pelvis out is making me uncomfortable.
8:55 PM: Best Rock Album is about to be announced, and I could care less who wins. Beck wins. Whoopie.
9:02 PM: Shocker... another Beatle wins an award. This time, George Harrison wins a Lifetime Achievement Award. Niles Rogers presents, looking like Lil Wayne in about 30 years. along with Smokey Robinson, who's eyes could not be opened wider.
9:04 PM: Best R&B Performance is given to Beyoncé. She's still getting awards? Seems like that album came out 3 years ago already.
9:05 PM: Funky ginger, aka Ed Sheeran, is on now. Does this dude ever comb his hair?
9:06 PM: I just realized that he says that he'll love the woman until she's 70. I always thought he was saying 17, which would've made this the official anthem for pedophiles worldwide.
9:09 PM: Forgot to say that he's joined on stage by John Mayer, who's proof that you could play that innocent, good guy role and still be a douchebag who catches mad bodies.
9:11 PM: I would say my musical expertise is on point, but I can say with a clear conscious that I have no idea who's on stage right now. Paul McCartney is excited so I'm guessing he's somewhat of a big deal, but I can't get past the fact that he looks like the love child of John Goodman and Ringo Starr (yes, another Beatles reference).
9:14 PM: Looks like it's the Electric Light Orchestra, for those who were waiting on the edge of their seats for me to figure that out.
9:15 PM: Ryan Seacrest, of 'American Idol' fame, introduces Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani, of 'The Voice'. I smell some reality singing competition show beef.
9:17 PM: Very cool song... but with all the upbeat hits that Ed Sheeran and Maroon 5 have, it's odd that they both sang ballads tonight. Someone better get this party started soon because I can't wait any longer to twerk.
9:25 PM: Awwww shit! My Hozier jam, 'Take Me To Church' is on now. Sprinkle some holy water all over these devils, my dude.
9:28 PM: Annie Lennox joins him and unlike most of these collaborations, she adds instead of subtracting. She's screaming 'AMEN' like she's about to catch the Holy Ghost. Goosebumps begin to form. We officially have a front runner for performance of the night.
9:31 PM: The Annie Lennox takeover is in full effect. WOW. For a woman who was just screaming 'Amen' a few minutes ago, she looks fuckin' possessed out her mind right now. This one is gonna be hard to beat.
9:32 PM: So Nick Jonas, who's song 'Jealous' I despise, is presenting for the genre I loathe the most, Best Country Album. Thank God Megan Trainor's sexy little Jewish ass is there next to him to distract me.
9:33 PM: Miranda Lambert wins. Blake looks on, creepily.
9:34 PM: The Weeknd comes out, who apparently my mom has never heard of, as she asks me why he doesn't like the weekdays. I don't know, Mom. I don't know.
9:35 PM: My brother Pharrell is up, looking like an usher. No, not Usher. An actual usher. From the theater. He may be happy... to show you to your seat. This ensemble also includes shorts, again. I'm guessing it's like 120 degrees over there since Pharrell refuses to wear pants.
9:36 PM: FINALLY! It's 'Happy' time! *starts twerking*
9:37 PM: In a mere six minutes, Hozier has some serious competition. Skateboard P!
9:44 PM: Obama talking about domestic violence. He's a week late if he wanted to reach the right audience.
9:47 PM: A spoken word from a domestic violence victim is followed by Katy Perry. All jokes aside, men that beat their women are cowards. One of my favorite artists of all-time, the late, GREAT 2 Pac, put it better than I ever could:
'And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women'
- 2 Pac 'Keep Ya Head Up'
BTW, if you're not impressed by how fast I pulled up that quote, then I don't know what to tell you.
9:52 PM: Katy did well, although I was kind of expecting Missy Elliott to be incorporated somehow. I'm spoiled.
9:55 PM: My mom and I are trying to figure out if this Imagine Dragons performance is part of the actual show. Turns out it was a commercial. Shit, even on a commercial break I can't relax.
10:00 PM: Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett reviving an American classic. I'm 99% sure Gaga is a demon, but hot damn she looks GOOD. I would say that I would hit that but her vagina may have teeth. I'm also convinced that Tony Bennett was forced to do this duet album, but he can't say anything because maybe someone has revealing pictures of him or something. A wrinkly dick pic, perhaps? Tony, blink twice if you're being forced to do this.
10:03 PM: The performances are coming non-stop this year. My fingers are cramping up hardcore. Can a brother get a moment to breathe? This time, Usher is doing a Stevie Wonder tribute. A tall order, for sure, as Stevie is one of the all-time greats. Dude is one of the last living legends around.
10:06 PM: OK, I know I just said Stevie is a legend... but he just came out, and he's the size of a fuckin' house. Somebody get this dude a copy of Insanity and a Planet Fitness membership quick. I gotta give him credit, though... those dreads are still hanging in there, albeit barely.
10:13 PM: Country performance. Time for a water break.
10:21 PM: Country crap is over, and now the performance I was really anticipating is on. Rihanna, Yeezy, Sir Paul. Unlike the last song Kanye sang, 'Four Five Seconds' hits the mark and looks like an early contender to be on my favorite songs of 2015 list.
10:23 PM: Rihanna is grabbing her balls.
10:24 PM: For a song that just came out, I'm impressed that so many people in the audience knew the words. Granted, two of those people were Kim Kardashian and Paul McCartney's wife, but still.
10:30 PM: TAYLOR! That's my boo, yo. And to think, at last year's show, I was beyond irritated with her. But is she not gonna perform? Really? I'm ready to shake it off in this bitch.
10:31 PM: The man of the night, Sam Smith, sings his monster hit, 'Stay With Me'. If they film another 'American Pie', Sam can definitely take on the role of Paul Finch.
10:32 PM: The queen of hip-hop soul, Mary J. Blige, joins him onstage, and the pairing seems natural. Mary J. is trying her best not to outshine the new jack, and she succeeds.
10:35 PM: Jane The Virgin introduces Juanes. Where my Latinos at? We bout to turn this into a Colombian fiesta.
10:37 PM: I have no idea what he is saying. The only word I can make it is the name of the song, 'Juntos', which means together. I think. I have failed as a Latino. To be fair, he is singing REALLY fast. Slow down, you show-off.
10:39 PM: Prince! Looking like a creamsicle. Not a great fashion night for music's legends.
10:41 PM: OK, the awards are heavy now. Album of the year, one of the night's biggest awards, is about to be given out... to BECK?! Didn't they give this award last year to Daft Punk, the duo with the doofy helmets that can't even speak? I swear they're intentionally picking the least entertaining artist to take home the hardware.
10:42 PM: Did Kanye really pretend like he was going to go onstage to pull a... Kanye? As obnoxious as he's been in the past, this time it would've been justified. And no, I haven't heard Beck's album... but it's BECK! Come on, son.
10:49 PM: Sia is hiding her face yet again. Her reason for not exposing her identity is that she believes music should be more about substance than image, and I love that. But have you googled a picture of Sia? Do it, there's pics of her out there. Yeah, now you know the real reason why she's hiding.
10:50 PM: Kristin Wig? No way! Kind of hard for me to take this performance seriously with one of SNL's funniest ladies doing an interpretive dance but because I have an undercover crush on her, I approve.
10:53: Song of the year time. No more joking around. A lot of big players in this, including mi corazon, Taylor. And the Grammy goes to... Sam Smith. Zzzzzz. Paul Finch, report to the stage one more time.
10:58 PM: Just wanted to mention that during the commercial break, my mom is PISSED over Sia's performance. Apparently, this stems from Sia having her back to the audience. Among the words she used to describe this are 'stupid' and 'rude'. I'm so happy I have her here to share her expert analysis.
11:03 PM: If Beck and Chris Martin want to have a snooze fest, why not do it at the beginning of the show? I'm fatigued, people. I've been blogging for three hours! I'm about to knock out.
11:06 PM: Stevie's back. No more fat jokes, I promise.
11:07 PM: How did he get so big, though? I feel like this happened quickly. Maybe he was hiding all that fluffiness behind his piano all these years?
11:08 PM: Sam Smith wins Record of the year. I don't even care anymore. I need a snack.
11:15 PM: Oh, great. It's that boring, bearded guy who talks every year about making sure music doesn't become extinct. Until the quality of music improves, I'm illegally downloading all that shit. Middle finger to the industry, ya heard.
11:18 PM: Now we remember those no longer with us. Some heavy hitters here... Joe Cocker, Bobby Womack, Robin Williams, Maya Angelou, Little Jimmy Dickens. No, I have no idea who Little Jimmy Dickens is, but when you have a name like that, I don't care if you're dead or alive, I'm putting you in my blog.
11:28 PM: It's Beyoncé's turn to perform but I gotta be honest... I am running out of steam. We still have another performance after this and you see the time. And yes, it's another ballad. Let me get my Mets blanket, I'm fading quickly.
11:30 PM: She sang wonderfully. Or at least I imagined she did.
11:31 PM: It finally looks it's send-off time, and this one looks like a winner. John Legend, Common, 'Glory' from 'Selma'. This is powerful music. If the industry released substance like this on a more consistent basis, we wouldn't need that bearded buffoon to tell us to support the industry. How about the industry supports us with some good music for the mind and soul? Something with meaning?
11:37 PM: Show is over. At least I think it is. Or hope it is. But I made it! Man, this isn't easy. But it might be harder to read this and keep up with the frequent updates, so if you got to this point, I sincerely thank you. Or as Sam Smith would say, thank you for 'staying with me'. Corny, I know, but what do you want? It's almost midnight! Goodnight, familia.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
My favorite 40 songs of 2013
Remember me? :D
Let's get the obligatory "Happy New Years!' shit out the way. Hope 2014 is kind to ya. Truth is, for all the great shit 2013 brought to me, more blog posts was not one of them. But it's a new year, new me! Just kidding... I hate when people say that. However, I am gonna start on a positive note and give you an original piece... and one that often stirs up some emotion.
It's my favorite songs of 2013!
I doubt anyone besides myself will notice that I didn't post one of these for 2012. Was it because the music was so atrocious that I decided to skip one altogether? No, actually. I have the list, and it's delightful! It may sound like a lame excuse but I just never got around to posting it. I vowed to never make that mistake again so I'm giving y'all muthafuckas this list. Read it and love it.
One slight change from the last time I posted one of these: I made it a top 40 instead of a top 50. This was not something I planned on doing before making the list but I felt like I was reaching by adding on 10 more songs just 'cause. Less is more and all that. To compensate, I added blurbs to just about every song, because I'm sure you wanted to read more of my expert analysis.
As always, a refresher to the criteria: These are MY favorite songs of the past year. Not the BEST. Not the most POPULAR. Just my FAVORITE. (Envision me yelling every time you see something in caps) I write this because while you can offer your opinion and feelings on what your fav jams of 2013 were, this list is hard to debate because it's the shit I like. You'll notice a lot of dance songs on here. Yeah, 'cause a dude was hitting the treadmill hard last year (until that one day in November when I killed it running 3 miles in something like 25 minutes and sprained my foot so bad I could hardly walk on it for the next week). In response to the lack of hip-hop (my preferred genre of music, if you didn't know), I say show me where to get some and I'm there. Unfortunately, I'm not able to be online all day searching for underground shit to satisfy my rap urges (I just put on some 90's shit for that) and the new shit, especially the mainstream stuff, is horrible.
OK, here's the list. Have fun and hopefully I will speak to you guys a lot more in 2014. Enjoy!
40. Bruno Mars 'Treasure'
Saw him in concert last year, amazeballs!
39. Daft Punk feat. Pharrell 'Get Lucky'
How smooth was this? Perfect summer song
38. Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc 'Wake Me Up'
Liked Aloe Blacc ever since 'I Need A Dollar'
37. Haim 'The Wire'
Thought they were strange when I saw them on SNL but this rocks
36. Action Bronson feat. LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks 'Strictly 4 My Jeeps'
Would love to see hear more NY rap like this in '14
35. B.o.B 'Missing'
Underappreciated MC who always speaks his mind
34. Jay-Z 'Picasso Baby'
33. Drake feat. Jay-Z 'Pound Cake'
Surprisingly, my fav MC ever doesn't crack the top 25
32. Big Sean feat. Kendrick Lamar & Jay Electronica 'Control'
Verse of the year candidate by Kendrick. Got damn!
31. Icona Pop 'I Love It'
Two Swedish chicks yelling about crashing their car? Yes, please!
30. M.I.A. 'Y.A.L.A.'
This is what happens when you shazam songs from commercials
29. Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull 'Live It Up'
Every time these two hook up, they make it on here
28. Rihanna 'What Now'
Finally dropped as a single. Best song off of 'Unapologetic'
27. Sevyn Streeter feat. Chris Brown 'It Won't Stop (Remix)'
She might not have the best voice but this is so smooth
26. Ludacris 'Hell Of A Night'
Luda always kills these light, fun club songs
25. Britney Spears 'Til It's Gone'
24. Pitbull feat. Kelly Rowland 'That High'
Both dropped at the end of the year but they've been on repeat heavy
23. Sam & The Womp 'Bom Bom'
22. Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock 'A Little Party Never Killed Nobody'
This is what happens when you occasionally watch 'Dancing W/ The Stars'
21. Afrojack feat. Chris Brown 'As Your Friend'
20. Will.I.Am feat. Chris Brown 'Let's Go'
Fuck rehab, Breezy. Just make a dance album with shit like this on it
19. J. Cole feat. Amber Coffman 'She Knows'
Couldn't get into the album but this bangs
18. Mack Wilds 'Own It'
This feels so New York. Kudos to the remix w/ Jadakiss, too
17. Kid Cudi 'Young Lady'
'Indacud' was one of my fav albums in '13
16. Eminem 'So Much Better'
When Em drops an album, he's guaranteed a spot on my list
15. Sia feat. The Weeknd & Diplo 'Elastic Heart'
The 'Titanium' chick strikes again!
14. Tegan & Sara 'Closer'
I can now cross 'liking a song by Canadian lesbian twins' off my bucket list
13. One Republic 'Counting Stars'
'No more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars' YES
12. Ylvis 'The Fox (What Does The Fox Say)'
Anyone who knows me knows this could easily be my #1. Hilarious!
11. Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding 'I Need Your Love'
Loved this even more after I saw the video
And now, I present my favorite 10 songs of 2013!
10. Miley Cyrus 'We Can't Stop'
I tried to fight it. I really did. But the fight was not a fair one. For all the negative things I can say about her (and trust me, I realize that she's an industry puppet who's playing out this ridiculous character for attention), I have to give credit where it's due. Shit, even I was twerking to this.
09. A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera 'Say Something'
Jay-Z famously said 'sensitive thugs, y'all all need hugs.' Well, dammit, I need a hug and I need it now. Is this depressing? Uhhhh HELL YEAH. This is the song you play right before your disaster of a relationship comes to an end. Pillows are soaking up tears to this shit right here. You're gripping your teddy bear extra tight. But sometimes pain sounds so beautiful.
08. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 'Can't Hold Us'
Are they corny? Sure. A song like 'Thrift Shop' wasn't going to change that (although I love the message). This? Yeah, this is serious. Any MC who would've rapped over this beat with that hook would've made it into a banger, but they didn't get that chance. Macklemore did. And that makes him one lucky, successful ass dude.
07. Pusha T feat. Future 'Pain'
I hate Future. Seriously, I do. If you replaced him with T-Pain on any song he's on, the song is instantly 10000x better. But that's how much I love this song... that I could bare his down-syndrome sounding ass on the hook. And for that, and many other reasons, Push wins rap album of the year accolades in my book.
06. Joell Ortiz 'Roll Deep'
Let's see what we have in play here: A dope NY MC, who just so happens to be Puerto Rican, rhyming over a hard beat that samples Big Pun AND Frankie Cutlass? How can this NOT be in my top 10? 'I'm in here going pernil, that's one step up from ham'. Songs like this remind me that I still love H.E.R.
05. Drake feat. 2 Chainz & Big Sean 'All Me'
From the moment Drake says 'Got everything, I got everything', you know shit's about to go down. Wouldn't consider myself a fan of any of these dudes but when you can get the best out of all 3 of them over a beat like this with a memorable hook, you have a great anthem.
04. Neighbourhood 'Sweater Weather'
It wasn't until recently (and by recently, I mean last night) that I realized that the lead singer is a dude. And that's probably not a great sign. But trust me when I tell you that something about this song just feels good. Maybe because it feels like California and I was in LA in June (show-off alert!) but I digs this.
03. Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell 'Blurred Lines'
Here's where I brag about downloading this song (and not illegally, either!) in April, way before the frenzy. I'm a visionary! May I add that I previously hated Robin Thicke. He didn't feel authentic to me, and in his past efforts he sounded like he was trying too hard. But Pharrell LACED him. Add the simplistic, yet genius video and you have what was possibly the biggest song of '13.
02. Capital Cities 'Safe & Sound'
A cool dude like myself (ahem) listens to cool music. And this, my friends, is cool. Although they're essentially repeating the same four lines over and over again, the vibe of this song (mainly due to the awesome use of horns) is just... cool. Also doubles as one of my favorite videos of the year.
01. Lorde 'Royals'
I remember the day so vividly. I was in the passenger side of the whip, radio on blast, and both Hot 97 and Power 105 (NYC desperately needs a better 'urban' station) had commercials on so I (tentatively) switched to z100. And that's the moment I fell in love with this song. And then Rick Ross added a verse on it and, surprisingly, didn't ruin it. Yes, this song is amazing. Yes, this is my favorite song of 2014. And yes, you can call me queen bee.
Another year, another list. What were your favorites of 2013? I probably won't care but feel free to let me know. Just kidding! Kind of.
Let's get the obligatory "Happy New Years!' shit out the way. Hope 2014 is kind to ya. Truth is, for all the great shit 2013 brought to me, more blog posts was not one of them. But it's a new year, new me! Just kidding... I hate when people say that. However, I am gonna start on a positive note and give you an original piece... and one that often stirs up some emotion.
It's my favorite songs of 2013!
I doubt anyone besides myself will notice that I didn't post one of these for 2012. Was it because the music was so atrocious that I decided to skip one altogether? No, actually. I have the list, and it's delightful! It may sound like a lame excuse but I just never got around to posting it. I vowed to never make that mistake again so I'm giving y'all muthafuckas this list. Read it and love it.
One slight change from the last time I posted one of these: I made it a top 40 instead of a top 50. This was not something I planned on doing before making the list but I felt like I was reaching by adding on 10 more songs just 'cause. Less is more and all that. To compensate, I added blurbs to just about every song, because I'm sure you wanted to read more of my expert analysis.
As always, a refresher to the criteria: These are MY favorite songs of the past year. Not the BEST. Not the most POPULAR. Just my FAVORITE. (Envision me yelling every time you see something in caps) I write this because while you can offer your opinion and feelings on what your fav jams of 2013 were, this list is hard to debate because it's the shit I like. You'll notice a lot of dance songs on here. Yeah, 'cause a dude was hitting the treadmill hard last year (until that one day in November when I killed it running 3 miles in something like 25 minutes and sprained my foot so bad I could hardly walk on it for the next week). In response to the lack of hip-hop (my preferred genre of music, if you didn't know), I say show me where to get some and I'm there. Unfortunately, I'm not able to be online all day searching for underground shit to satisfy my rap urges (I just put on some 90's shit for that) and the new shit, especially the mainstream stuff, is horrible.
OK, here's the list. Have fun and hopefully I will speak to you guys a lot more in 2014. Enjoy!
40. Bruno Mars 'Treasure'
Saw him in concert last year, amazeballs!
39. Daft Punk feat. Pharrell 'Get Lucky'
How smooth was this? Perfect summer song
38. Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc 'Wake Me Up'
Liked Aloe Blacc ever since 'I Need A Dollar'
37. Haim 'The Wire'
Thought they were strange when I saw them on SNL but this rocks
36. Action Bronson feat. LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks 'Strictly 4 My Jeeps'
Would love to see hear more NY rap like this in '14
35. B.o.B 'Missing'
Underappreciated MC who always speaks his mind
34. Jay-Z 'Picasso Baby'
33. Drake feat. Jay-Z 'Pound Cake'
Surprisingly, my fav MC ever doesn't crack the top 25
32. Big Sean feat. Kendrick Lamar & Jay Electronica 'Control'
Verse of the year candidate by Kendrick. Got damn!
31. Icona Pop 'I Love It'
Two Swedish chicks yelling about crashing their car? Yes, please!
30. M.I.A. 'Y.A.L.A.'
This is what happens when you shazam songs from commercials
29. Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull 'Live It Up'
Every time these two hook up, they make it on here
28. Rihanna 'What Now'
Finally dropped as a single. Best song off of 'Unapologetic'
27. Sevyn Streeter feat. Chris Brown 'It Won't Stop (Remix)'
She might not have the best voice but this is so smooth
26. Ludacris 'Hell Of A Night'
Luda always kills these light, fun club songs
25. Britney Spears 'Til It's Gone'
24. Pitbull feat. Kelly Rowland 'That High'
Both dropped at the end of the year but they've been on repeat heavy
23. Sam & The Womp 'Bom Bom'
22. Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock 'A Little Party Never Killed Nobody'
This is what happens when you occasionally watch 'Dancing W/ The Stars'
21. Afrojack feat. Chris Brown 'As Your Friend'
20. Will.I.Am feat. Chris Brown 'Let's Go'
Fuck rehab, Breezy. Just make a dance album with shit like this on it
19. J. Cole feat. Amber Coffman 'She Knows'
Couldn't get into the album but this bangs
18. Mack Wilds 'Own It'
This feels so New York. Kudos to the remix w/ Jadakiss, too
17. Kid Cudi 'Young Lady'
'Indacud' was one of my fav albums in '13
16. Eminem 'So Much Better'
When Em drops an album, he's guaranteed a spot on my list
15. Sia feat. The Weeknd & Diplo 'Elastic Heart'
The 'Titanium' chick strikes again!
14. Tegan & Sara 'Closer'
I can now cross 'liking a song by Canadian lesbian twins' off my bucket list
13. One Republic 'Counting Stars'
'No more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars' YES
12. Ylvis 'The Fox (What Does The Fox Say)'
Anyone who knows me knows this could easily be my #1. Hilarious!
11. Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding 'I Need Your Love'
Loved this even more after I saw the video
And now, I present my favorite 10 songs of 2013!
10. Miley Cyrus 'We Can't Stop'
I tried to fight it. I really did. But the fight was not a fair one. For all the negative things I can say about her (and trust me, I realize that she's an industry puppet who's playing out this ridiculous character for attention), I have to give credit where it's due. Shit, even I was twerking to this.
09. A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera 'Say Something'
Jay-Z famously said 'sensitive thugs, y'all all need hugs.' Well, dammit, I need a hug and I need it now. Is this depressing? Uhhhh HELL YEAH. This is the song you play right before your disaster of a relationship comes to an end. Pillows are soaking up tears to this shit right here. You're gripping your teddy bear extra tight. But sometimes pain sounds so beautiful.
08. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 'Can't Hold Us'
Are they corny? Sure. A song like 'Thrift Shop' wasn't going to change that (although I love the message). This? Yeah, this is serious. Any MC who would've rapped over this beat with that hook would've made it into a banger, but they didn't get that chance. Macklemore did. And that makes him one lucky, successful ass dude.
07. Pusha T feat. Future 'Pain'
I hate Future. Seriously, I do. If you replaced him with T-Pain on any song he's on, the song is instantly 10000x better. But that's how much I love this song... that I could bare his down-syndrome sounding ass on the hook. And for that, and many other reasons, Push wins rap album of the year accolades in my book.
06. Joell Ortiz 'Roll Deep'
Let's see what we have in play here: A dope NY MC, who just so happens to be Puerto Rican, rhyming over a hard beat that samples Big Pun AND Frankie Cutlass? How can this NOT be in my top 10? 'I'm in here going pernil, that's one step up from ham'. Songs like this remind me that I still love H.E.R.
05. Drake feat. 2 Chainz & Big Sean 'All Me'
From the moment Drake says 'Got everything, I got everything', you know shit's about to go down. Wouldn't consider myself a fan of any of these dudes but when you can get the best out of all 3 of them over a beat like this with a memorable hook, you have a great anthem.
04. Neighbourhood 'Sweater Weather'
It wasn't until recently (and by recently, I mean last night) that I realized that the lead singer is a dude. And that's probably not a great sign. But trust me when I tell you that something about this song just feels good. Maybe because it feels like California and I was in LA in June (show-off alert!) but I digs this.
03. Robin Thicke feat. T.I. & Pharrell 'Blurred Lines'
Here's where I brag about downloading this song (and not illegally, either!) in April, way before the frenzy. I'm a visionary! May I add that I previously hated Robin Thicke. He didn't feel authentic to me, and in his past efforts he sounded like he was trying too hard. But Pharrell LACED him. Add the simplistic, yet genius video and you have what was possibly the biggest song of '13.
02. Capital Cities 'Safe & Sound'
A cool dude like myself (ahem) listens to cool music. And this, my friends, is cool. Although they're essentially repeating the same four lines over and over again, the vibe of this song (mainly due to the awesome use of horns) is just... cool. Also doubles as one of my favorite videos of the year.
01. Lorde 'Royals'
I remember the day so vividly. I was in the passenger side of the whip, radio on blast, and both Hot 97 and Power 105 (NYC desperately needs a better 'urban' station) had commercials on so I (tentatively) switched to z100. And that's the moment I fell in love with this song. And then Rick Ross added a verse on it and, surprisingly, didn't ruin it. Yes, this song is amazing. Yes, this is my favorite song of 2014. And yes, you can call me queen bee.
Another year, another list. What were your favorites of 2013? I probably won't care but feel free to let me know. Just kidding! Kind of.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
My favorite 50 songs of 2010
Welcome to 2011!
Hope everyone has a healthy & blessed year
One of the things I wanted to accomplish in '11 is starting up a blog. What better day to start than the first? Now all I have to do is get rock hard abs & win a fantasy football championship & my year will be complete. Since 2010 has just ended, I felt it's appropriate to start my blog w/ a countdown of some sort. Initially I wanted to do my favorite albums of the year but the truth is I don't have the time (or interest) to sit down & listen to every shitty CD out there. Besides, it's pretty much a consensus that Eminem & Kanye hold down the top two spots.
Instead, I'll do something more interesting & run down my top 50 songs of the year. Now before you read this list & bitch, remember it's my FAVORITE songs, not the BEST ones. That list would look completely different. Qualifications are simple: these are the songs I played the most in my Sony Walkman (fuck an iPod). Am I proud of all these selections? Honestly, no... but that's why God created guilty pleasures.
Ok enough talking, here's the list (in reverse order):
50. Justin Bieber feat. Usher 'Somebody To Love (Remix)'
49. Lady Gaga 'Alejandro'
48. Aloe Blacc 'I Need A Dollar'
47. Laws feat. Emilio Rojas & Big K.R.I.T. 'Hold You Down (Remix)'
46. Chiddy Bang feat. Q-Tip 'Here We Go'
45. Shawn Boothe 'Poor Boy'
44. Rihanna 'Only Girl (In The World)'
43. Duo Live feat. Snoop Dogg 'Lay Back'
42. Joe Budden feat. Joell Ortiz 'Follow Your Lead'
41. Cee-Lo 'Fuck You'
40. Michael Jackson feat. 50 Cent 'Monster'
39. Kanye West 'Lost In The World'
38. Bruno Mars 'Just The Way You Are'
37. Dirty Money 'Hello Good Morning'
36. Kanye West feat. Kid Cudi & Raekwon 'Gorgeous'
35. Fat Joe feat. Young Jeezy 'Ha Ha (Slow Down)'
34. Joell Ortiz & Novel 'Defying The Predictable'
33. Ron Artest feat. T-Pain 'Champions (Remix)'
32. Paloma Faith feat. Ghostface 'New York'
31. Sheek Louch feat. Joell Ortiz & Termanology 'This Is Hip Hop'
30. Drake feat. Notorious B.I.G. & Jay-Z 'Light Up (Remix)'
29. B.o.B. feat. Bruno Mars 'Nothin' On You'
28. Gyptian 'Hold Yuh'
27. Donnis 'Gone'
26. Jae Millz feat. Chris Brown 'Green Gobblin'
25. Drake 'Find Your Love'
24. Clinton Sparks feat. DJ Class & Jermaine Dupri 'Favorite DJ'
23. DMX & Busta Rhymes 'Yall Don't Really Know'
22. Rihanna feat. Young Jeezy 'Hard'
21. Kid Cudi 'Marijuana'
20. Kanye West feat. Pusha T, Keri Hilson & CyHi Da Prince 'Take One For The Team'
19. Miguel feat. J Cole 'All I Want Is You'
18. Omarion 'Speedin'
17. Drake 'Over'
16. Lil Wayne feat. Eminem 'Drop The World'
15. Vado feat. Cam'ron 'Speakin' Tongues'
14. Bruno Mars 'Grenade'
13. Rihanna feat. Drake 'What's My Name'
12. Dr. Dre feat. Akon, Snoop Dogg & The Game 'Kush'
11. B.o.B. feat. Eminem & Hayley Williams 'Airplanes (Part 2)'
10. Eminem feat. Lil Wayne 'No Love'
Heard 'Drop The World' & instantly loved it, yet Em & Weezy somehow managed to surpass that w/ this collabo off Em's 'Recovery' LP. When you can sample Haddaway's 'What Is Love?' & make it a banger, you deserve a spot in the top 10.
9. Drake feat. The-Dream 'Shut It Down'
Words can't describe how much I disliked this song when I first heard it. Probably had a lot to do with being one of the first songs leaked off of Drake's album, which I had incredibly high expectations for. After a few listens, I can't deny that this is a sexy ass song.
8. Nelly 'Just A Dream'
Like you, I assumed Nelly was done making music. Or at least music that people cared about. But he caught me completely off-guard with this catchy-ass song that rejuvenated his career enough that he inexplicitly performed this before a Manny Pacquiao fight.
7. Joell Ortiz 'Project Boy'
If you know me well, these are the type of songs you probably expected to fill the list. My favorite MC of the moment with my favorite producer (Primo) of all-time? You damn right I love this!
6. Fat Joe 'I'm Gone'
Primo strikes again! Fat Joe is severely underrated. I don't know what the hell most people have against him except the fact that he's Latino. Racist bastards. Could've done without the five-minute rant at the end but even with that, this song just feels right.
5. Red Cafe feat. Fabolous 'I'm Ill'
People don't realize how long Red Cafe has been out. I remember getting a video of his about ten years ago. Apparently the hard work paid off. I don't go clubbing but if I did, this would have to be on the playlist.
4. David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi 'Memories'
Make fun of me all you want but I like Kid Cudi. I can't help it, it's something about his melodies & hooks that make him infectious. While I didn't care for this sophomore CD, this song off David Guetta's CD bangs. The perfect song for the morning after a crazy night.
3. Eminem 'Cinderella Man'
The gem off the best CD of the year. I'm in a bowling league & right before I hit the lanes, this is the song I play to get my blood boiling. Has it helped me? Not particularly, but that doesn't change it from being an awesome track.
2. Shontelle 'Impossible'
Not gonna lie, this could've easily been my #1. I'm much more of a hip-hop dude but this is a beautiful R&B masterpiece that will stay in my rotation for a long time. It didn't hurt that Shontelle retweeted me on Twitter. If you're reading this Shontelle, I love you girl!
1. Nicki Minaj feat. Eminem 'Roman's Revenge'
My memory is asscheeks. Like really, you have no idea. I can't even memorize my own raps. However, for the past few months I've been walking around saying 'I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin...' while bystanders shook their heads. Fuck 'em. This instantly made me a Nicki Minaj fan. Plus it's only fitting Eminem has a piece of the top spot since he's the artist on the this list the most.
And there you go, folks. This is the type of stuff you can expect from my blog so I hope you enjoyed. And by 'type of stuff' I mean things I spend entirely too much time on so three of my closest friends can read it. FML.
Happy Que year, people!
GeeQue
www.twitter.com/geequenyc
Hope everyone has a healthy & blessed year
One of the things I wanted to accomplish in '11 is starting up a blog. What better day to start than the first? Now all I have to do is get rock hard abs & win a fantasy football championship & my year will be complete. Since 2010 has just ended, I felt it's appropriate to start my blog w/ a countdown of some sort. Initially I wanted to do my favorite albums of the year but the truth is I don't have the time (or interest) to sit down & listen to every shitty CD out there. Besides, it's pretty much a consensus that Eminem & Kanye hold down the top two spots.
Instead, I'll do something more interesting & run down my top 50 songs of the year. Now before you read this list & bitch, remember it's my FAVORITE songs, not the BEST ones. That list would look completely different. Qualifications are simple: these are the songs I played the most in my Sony Walkman (fuck an iPod). Am I proud of all these selections? Honestly, no... but that's why God created guilty pleasures.
Ok enough talking, here's the list (in reverse order):
50. Justin Bieber feat. Usher 'Somebody To Love (Remix)'
49. Lady Gaga 'Alejandro'
48. Aloe Blacc 'I Need A Dollar'
47. Laws feat. Emilio Rojas & Big K.R.I.T. 'Hold You Down (Remix)'
46. Chiddy Bang feat. Q-Tip 'Here We Go'
45. Shawn Boothe 'Poor Boy'
44. Rihanna 'Only Girl (In The World)'
43. Duo Live feat. Snoop Dogg 'Lay Back'
42. Joe Budden feat. Joell Ortiz 'Follow Your Lead'
41. Cee-Lo 'Fuck You'
40. Michael Jackson feat. 50 Cent 'Monster'
39. Kanye West 'Lost In The World'
38. Bruno Mars 'Just The Way You Are'
37. Dirty Money 'Hello Good Morning'
36. Kanye West feat. Kid Cudi & Raekwon 'Gorgeous'
35. Fat Joe feat. Young Jeezy 'Ha Ha (Slow Down)'
34. Joell Ortiz & Novel 'Defying The Predictable'
33. Ron Artest feat. T-Pain 'Champions (Remix)'
32. Paloma Faith feat. Ghostface 'New York'
31. Sheek Louch feat. Joell Ortiz & Termanology 'This Is Hip Hop'
30. Drake feat. Notorious B.I.G. & Jay-Z 'Light Up (Remix)'
29. B.o.B. feat. Bruno Mars 'Nothin' On You'
28. Gyptian 'Hold Yuh'
27. Donnis 'Gone'
26. Jae Millz feat. Chris Brown 'Green Gobblin'
25. Drake 'Find Your Love'
24. Clinton Sparks feat. DJ Class & Jermaine Dupri 'Favorite DJ'
23. DMX & Busta Rhymes 'Yall Don't Really Know'
22. Rihanna feat. Young Jeezy 'Hard'
21. Kid Cudi 'Marijuana'
20. Kanye West feat. Pusha T, Keri Hilson & CyHi Da Prince 'Take One For The Team'
19. Miguel feat. J Cole 'All I Want Is You'
18. Omarion 'Speedin'
17. Drake 'Over'
16. Lil Wayne feat. Eminem 'Drop The World'
15. Vado feat. Cam'ron 'Speakin' Tongues'
14. Bruno Mars 'Grenade'
13. Rihanna feat. Drake 'What's My Name'
12. Dr. Dre feat. Akon, Snoop Dogg & The Game 'Kush'
11. B.o.B. feat. Eminem & Hayley Williams 'Airplanes (Part 2)'
10. Eminem feat. Lil Wayne 'No Love'
Heard 'Drop The World' & instantly loved it, yet Em & Weezy somehow managed to surpass that w/ this collabo off Em's 'Recovery' LP. When you can sample Haddaway's 'What Is Love?' & make it a banger, you deserve a spot in the top 10.
9. Drake feat. The-Dream 'Shut It Down'
Words can't describe how much I disliked this song when I first heard it. Probably had a lot to do with being one of the first songs leaked off of Drake's album, which I had incredibly high expectations for. After a few listens, I can't deny that this is a sexy ass song.
8. Nelly 'Just A Dream'
Like you, I assumed Nelly was done making music. Or at least music that people cared about. But he caught me completely off-guard with this catchy-ass song that rejuvenated his career enough that he inexplicitly performed this before a Manny Pacquiao fight.
7. Joell Ortiz 'Project Boy'
If you know me well, these are the type of songs you probably expected to fill the list. My favorite MC of the moment with my favorite producer (Primo) of all-time? You damn right I love this!
6. Fat Joe 'I'm Gone'
Primo strikes again! Fat Joe is severely underrated. I don't know what the hell most people have against him except the fact that he's Latino. Racist bastards. Could've done without the five-minute rant at the end but even with that, this song just feels right.
5. Red Cafe feat. Fabolous 'I'm Ill'
People don't realize how long Red Cafe has been out. I remember getting a video of his about ten years ago. Apparently the hard work paid off. I don't go clubbing but if I did, this would have to be on the playlist.
4. David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi 'Memories'
Make fun of me all you want but I like Kid Cudi. I can't help it, it's something about his melodies & hooks that make him infectious. While I didn't care for this sophomore CD, this song off David Guetta's CD bangs. The perfect song for the morning after a crazy night.
3. Eminem 'Cinderella Man'
The gem off the best CD of the year. I'm in a bowling league & right before I hit the lanes, this is the song I play to get my blood boiling. Has it helped me? Not particularly, but that doesn't change it from being an awesome track.
2. Shontelle 'Impossible'
Not gonna lie, this could've easily been my #1. I'm much more of a hip-hop dude but this is a beautiful R&B masterpiece that will stay in my rotation for a long time. It didn't hurt that Shontelle retweeted me on Twitter. If you're reading this Shontelle, I love you girl!
1. Nicki Minaj feat. Eminem 'Roman's Revenge'
My memory is asscheeks. Like really, you have no idea. I can't even memorize my own raps. However, for the past few months I've been walking around saying 'I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin...' while bystanders shook their heads. Fuck 'em. This instantly made me a Nicki Minaj fan. Plus it's only fitting Eminem has a piece of the top spot since he's the artist on the this list the most.
And there you go, folks. This is the type of stuff you can expect from my blog so I hope you enjoyed. And by 'type of stuff' I mean things I spend entirely too much time on so three of my closest friends can read it. FML.
Happy Que year, people!
GeeQue
www.twitter.com/geequenyc
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)