'Gwen Stefaaaaani!'
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
MY TOP 10 SUMMER MOVIES OF 2012!!
It's list time, muthafuckas!
I have my BA in film. Yes, I went to college, you ignorant a-hole. Naturally, I watch a ton of movies, especially in the summer. In 2012, I went H.A.M., attending a movie every damn weekend. To avoid getting my wallet raped, I attended each movie before noon, as well as bringing my own snacks into the theater. Hey, times are hard. :(
With all the movie-going I did this summer, I feel it's only right I rank my top 10 movies in order. I saw pretty much every 'blockbuster', with apologies to Brave, Expendables 2 & Bourne Legacy. Minus those three (and truthfully, only 'Brave' would probably crack my list anyway), this is still an accurate-ass list.
Before we get to the movies that cracked the list, let's briefly discuss the 5 that missed the cut.
- Snow White & The Huntsman
Probably the worst movie I saw all summer. All style, no substance. Although it did manage to add Kristen Stewart to my 'bone-able snowflakes' list.
- Rock Of Ages
Tom Cruise, who usually annoys me, was sharp as a rocker & the intentions of the musical-turned-movie were good but left me feeling a lil empty when it was over.
- Total Recall
Thought this would be shitty. But then the first half of the movie happened & I was like 'oh snap! This might actually be good!' But then the second half happened & yeah, it was shitty.
- The Campaign
Used to be a big Will Ferrell fan... I still am to an extent... but his whole shtick is getting a lil tiring. I'll definitely be checking out Anchorman 2 next year, though.
- Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
Way better than I thought it would be. I can't lie, it was like soooo sweet but ultimately just too sappy for my liking.
OK, enough with the losers. Let's run down the 10 winners!
10. Amazing Spider-Man
If the list was 'most disappointing movies of the summer', this would hold down the top spot. Why do a reboot of a franchise when the last collection of interpretations (minus the awful Spider-Man 3) were way better than this? Didn't like Andrew Garfield & the special effects of the villain Lizard licked nuts. Luckily, I enjoy staring at Emma Stone (another member of the aforementioned 'bone-able snowflakes' list) so this snuck it's way on here.
9. Prometheus
Remember when I said Spider-Man would be #1 on the summer disappointments list? Here's your #2 film. Might have had the dopest trailer out of all the top 10. Unfortunately, that's where most of the action was. Pretty consistent film all the way around, building it's way to an epic climax... that never happened. Now I know what my ex-girlfriends feel like. :(
8. The Watch
Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn AND Jonah Hill? In a comedy about aliens? Of course this shit was gonna be on here! Was this some sort of ground-breaking masterpiece? No, obviously. But it supplied just enough laughs to leave me satisfied (and look past a corny & potentially disastrous ending).
7. The Dictator
Borat is one of my all-time favorite movies. I can watch that shit a million times. It never gets tiring. So this Sasha Baron Cohen comedy (which is identical) was enjoyable. However, because The Dictator was scripted, it doesn't have the edge (or freshness) that Borat had. And that's OK, because Borat is a classic that most comedies aren't gonna touch. But Cohen's routine is still amusing.
6. Savages
I had serious doubt about this when I saw the trailer. I was like, wtf is this cheesy basura? I will never doubt Oliver Stone again. The man makes bloody, gruesome, entertaining movies. Just for fun, he added a lil trizzy action. Who doesn't love that? Add Benecio Del Toro's cold-hearted performance & Selma Hayek's fantastic funbags and you have a winner.
5. Paranorman
I try to avoid watching any type of animated film. Usually, the theaters are packed with a bunch of whiny, annoying kids that are asking a million questions to their fucktard parents while they're kicking the back of your chair. But even those brats couldn't keep me from this one & I'm glad they didn't. Funny, charming & heartfelt. And Norman's sister had the donkey! *howls like wolf*
4. The Avengers
Boy, had I been waiting for this lil film to come out! My thirst for the Avengers got so bad that I would stay for the credits after every movie, Marvel superhero or not, waiting for Nick Fury to come out & drop a teaser. Safe to say, I wasn't disappointed. Would've been easy to botch a movie of this magnitude, especially with all the components here, but it was well done.
3. The Hunger Games
Before you get your dutty panties in a bunch complaining about how much better the book was, let me warn you that I didn't read it. I was pleasantly surprised at the depth of this movie, though. The political aspects stuck out to me more than anything. If you would've told me at the beginning of the year that I would enjoy Hunger Games more than Avengers, I might've thought you were on bath salts. And you may have been. But gosh darn it, you also would've been right!
2. Ted
I flip-flopped on my choice for #1 several times because, as you will see, my top two candidates are very different films. But let me say this: I absolutely LOVED Ted. I will get the blu-ray as soon as it comes out. I will watch it when it comes on HBO. I will get the stuffed animal. Maybe I already have the stuffed animal? Whatever the case, this is a comedy that will stand the test of time. Thought it was gonna be some crude, brainless comedy but it actually had some unexpected corazon.
1. The Dark Knight Rises
All the anticipation. All the breath-taking trailers. The classic movie that proceeded it. And even with all of that, no let down. Gotta be honest: I wasn't blown away by the first half. I kept waiting & waiting for a big moment. Then the last thirty minutes of the film happened... and I had a raging boner! One of the best endings (both for a movie & a trilogy) that I have seen in a long time. Set the standard not only for superhero movies, but for quality Summer entertainment. Long live Batman!
And that's the list. Hope you enjoyed. If anything, now you weirdos know which blu-rays to get me when the holidays & my birthday come around, teehee! See you next summer, mi gente.
I have my BA in film. Yes, I went to college, you ignorant a-hole. Naturally, I watch a ton of movies, especially in the summer. In 2012, I went H.A.M., attending a movie every damn weekend. To avoid getting my wallet raped, I attended each movie before noon, as well as bringing my own snacks into the theater. Hey, times are hard. :(
With all the movie-going I did this summer, I feel it's only right I rank my top 10 movies in order. I saw pretty much every 'blockbuster', with apologies to Brave, Expendables 2 & Bourne Legacy. Minus those three (and truthfully, only 'Brave' would probably crack my list anyway), this is still an accurate-ass list.
Before we get to the movies that cracked the list, let's briefly discuss the 5 that missed the cut.
- Snow White & The Huntsman
Probably the worst movie I saw all summer. All style, no substance. Although it did manage to add Kristen Stewart to my 'bone-able snowflakes' list.
- Rock Of Ages
Tom Cruise, who usually annoys me, was sharp as a rocker & the intentions of the musical-turned-movie were good but left me feeling a lil empty when it was over.
- Total Recall
Thought this would be shitty. But then the first half of the movie happened & I was like 'oh snap! This might actually be good!' But then the second half happened & yeah, it was shitty.
- The Campaign
Used to be a big Will Ferrell fan... I still am to an extent... but his whole shtick is getting a lil tiring. I'll definitely be checking out Anchorman 2 next year, though.
- Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
Way better than I thought it would be. I can't lie, it was like soooo sweet but ultimately just too sappy for my liking.
OK, enough with the losers. Let's run down the 10 winners!
10. Amazing Spider-Man
If the list was 'most disappointing movies of the summer', this would hold down the top spot. Why do a reboot of a franchise when the last collection of interpretations (minus the awful Spider-Man 3) were way better than this? Didn't like Andrew Garfield & the special effects of the villain Lizard licked nuts. Luckily, I enjoy staring at Emma Stone (another member of the aforementioned 'bone-able snowflakes' list) so this snuck it's way on here.
9. Prometheus
Remember when I said Spider-Man would be #1 on the summer disappointments list? Here's your #2 film. Might have had the dopest trailer out of all the top 10. Unfortunately, that's where most of the action was. Pretty consistent film all the way around, building it's way to an epic climax... that never happened. Now I know what my ex-girlfriends feel like. :(
8. The Watch
Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn AND Jonah Hill? In a comedy about aliens? Of course this shit was gonna be on here! Was this some sort of ground-breaking masterpiece? No, obviously. But it supplied just enough laughs to leave me satisfied (and look past a corny & potentially disastrous ending).
7. The Dictator
Borat is one of my all-time favorite movies. I can watch that shit a million times. It never gets tiring. So this Sasha Baron Cohen comedy (which is identical) was enjoyable. However, because The Dictator was scripted, it doesn't have the edge (or freshness) that Borat had. And that's OK, because Borat is a classic that most comedies aren't gonna touch. But Cohen's routine is still amusing.
6. Savages
I had serious doubt about this when I saw the trailer. I was like, wtf is this cheesy basura? I will never doubt Oliver Stone again. The man makes bloody, gruesome, entertaining movies. Just for fun, he added a lil trizzy action. Who doesn't love that? Add Benecio Del Toro's cold-hearted performance & Selma Hayek's fantastic funbags and you have a winner.
5. Paranorman
I try to avoid watching any type of animated film. Usually, the theaters are packed with a bunch of whiny, annoying kids that are asking a million questions to their fucktard parents while they're kicking the back of your chair. But even those brats couldn't keep me from this one & I'm glad they didn't. Funny, charming & heartfelt. And Norman's sister had the donkey! *howls like wolf*
4. The Avengers
Boy, had I been waiting for this lil film to come out! My thirst for the Avengers got so bad that I would stay for the credits after every movie, Marvel superhero or not, waiting for Nick Fury to come out & drop a teaser. Safe to say, I wasn't disappointed. Would've been easy to botch a movie of this magnitude, especially with all the components here, but it was well done.
3. The Hunger Games
Before you get your dutty panties in a bunch complaining about how much better the book was, let me warn you that I didn't read it. I was pleasantly surprised at the depth of this movie, though. The political aspects stuck out to me more than anything. If you would've told me at the beginning of the year that I would enjoy Hunger Games more than Avengers, I might've thought you were on bath salts. And you may have been. But gosh darn it, you also would've been right!
2. Ted
I flip-flopped on my choice for #1 several times because, as you will see, my top two candidates are very different films. But let me say this: I absolutely LOVED Ted. I will get the blu-ray as soon as it comes out. I will watch it when it comes on HBO. I will get the stuffed animal. Maybe I already have the stuffed animal? Whatever the case, this is a comedy that will stand the test of time. Thought it was gonna be some crude, brainless comedy but it actually had some unexpected corazon.
1. The Dark Knight Rises
All the anticipation. All the breath-taking trailers. The classic movie that proceeded it. And even with all of that, no let down. Gotta be honest: I wasn't blown away by the first half. I kept waiting & waiting for a big moment. Then the last thirty minutes of the film happened... and I had a raging boner! One of the best endings (both for a movie & a trilogy) that I have seen in a long time. Set the standard not only for superhero movies, but for quality Summer entertainment. Long live Batman!
And that's the list. Hope you enjoyed. If anything, now you weirdos know which blu-rays to get me when the holidays & my birthday come around, teehee! See you next summer, mi gente.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Koncept 'It's Amazin'
If you know anything about me, you know I'm a HUGE met fan. I mean, really huge. Like... I purchased a brick on the ground in front of Citi Field. I know, I'm sick. With that said, if a rapper does a song honoring my beloved team, OF COURSE I'm gonna post it. Enjoy, bitches!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
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