I miss the old me. And by the old me, I don't mean who I was ten years ago. Not five... shit, not even the one from last year. I'm talking about the old me from last week. The person that I was before I discovered Flappy Bird.
What is Flappy Bird? Really, you don't know? First off, it's a game. Second, you need to get out more. And third, I don't think we can be friends anymore.
The objective: tap your screen to maneuver the pixelated, flight-challenged bird through a series of Mario-like pipes. The fact that it sounds (and looks) so easy is one of the things that makes the game so frustrating. The fact that it looks like a game made in the 80's intended for lil' children doesn't help, either.
This game has consumed me for the past week and I'm proud to say that, out of the people I know, I'm in the 99th percentile. While you bitches are struggling to get to double digits, I'm sitting pretty at 46. And trust me, that number is on the rise.
To help those who are nowhere near as talented as me, I found a clip on YouTube that is sure to boast your anemic scores. Watch it and thank me later.
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