(aka 'The blog I thought I would never write')
01.26.14
While attempting to enjoy the soulless entertainment of the Grammys, I realized something... something that I may have been feeling for a while but was never quite able to put into words: I hate Taylor Swift.
The Imagine Dragons are in the middle of an epic performance of their smash hit, 'Radioactive', which featured an out-of-his-mind Kendrick Lamar. The energy in the building is oozing out of the screen. Naturally, the producers cut to a shot of Taylor Swift dancing off-beat. I become angry. Up to this point, I had tolerated a lot of her shenanigans, but this was the final straw. I declared my dislike for her in my live blog. I ran her name through the mud whenever she came up in conversation. Soon, it became something everyone knew about me. Actually, it was a PART of me. When discussing me, you had to mention my long-running TV show, my obsession with the Mets, and that I hate Taylor Swift. And you know what? I was PROUD of that. Wore it like a muthafuckin' badge of honor. Captain of the Taylor Swift hate club. That's me.
08.31.14
Every Sunday, I wake up and watch the VH1 Top 20 Countdown. Why? Because I love torture, apparently. It's not too bad... it keeps me in tune with what's going on musically in pop culture. It's my weekend tradition. This particular day, though, my world would be flipped upside down. Forever.
There's a new video on the countdown this week, and guess who it's by? That's right, my arch-rival Taylor Swift. 'Shake It Off'... great. Her pattern of dropping a new album just as her previous one is losing steam is predictable and annoying. Like, can I get one Taylor-free year in this bitch? Whatever. I'll just mean mug through this video and as soon as it ends, I'll give it the tongue-lashing it so rightfully deserves.
Except... I loved it. The song was catchy, the video was funny... it was beautiful. A work of art. My mean mug turned into a smile. My hate disappeared. Butterflies burst out of my stomach. I knew at that moment that I would never be the same again.
But how the hell did this happen? How could she have fooled me all these years? I was so used to her pestering me with her whiny tunes and subpar personality that it completely took me off-guard when she returned with a bang, this time full of charisma and charm. Taylor 2.0 was here, and I was a FAN. 'Shake It Off' instantly became one of my favorite songs, a mainstay on my iPod. The video was in heavy rotation in my household... so much that I wouldn't doubt that I made up about half of her 600 million views on YouTube. Taylor Swift's fan club didn't just get a new member, they got themselves a president.
10.27.14
I don't like modern day music. I used to listen to 100's of albums a year. Now, I'm lucky to get to double digits. It's rare for me to not only listen to an album but anticipate it's release. However, that's what I found myself doing for '1989'. I had been shaking it off for two months now and I was eager to know if the love was real. Secretly, I was hoping I hated the album so I could move on like everything was some giant fluke and return to my sour ways. Except one thing happened.
The album was fuckin' incredible.
I was blown away. Practically every track sounded like a hit. The melodies were infectious. Her accent was adorable. I didn't know what to do with myself. Here I am, a grown man, sitting in front of my laptop, nodding my head to 'Blank Space' like it's classic Biggie. Without a doubt, '1989' was the best album of the year. In any genre. Shit, it's one of the best albums I've heard in a long time. I love Michael Jackson to death and know that no one will ever come close to matching his legacy, but in my heart, '1989' was a modern-day 'Thriller'.
Taylor was in complete promo mode for the remainder of the year... and I couldn't have been happier. My mom fed my obsession, DV-R-ing every Taylor appearance she caught on TV. I posted so many Taylor-related comments on my social media accounts that I lost track. It was complete Taylor-mania.
A funny thing happened along the way, though. Just as I was coming to terms with this new love for Taylor, a new feeling reared it's ugly head. A feeling of... lust. Lust, you say? Really? Taylor is not my prototypical cup of tea. She's tall and lanky, awkward, with very lil trace of a curve on her bony frame. But I didn't care. I wanted nothing more than to climb that pale tree and make sweet love to her. Taylor wasn't just my woman crush Wednesday, she was my woman crush everyday. (#wce) You can have Beyoncé... keep Kate Upton... gimme some Taylor and gimme a whole lot of her.
02.17.15
The year has changed, my feelings have not. Still a huge fan of Taylor Swift. Still listening to '1989'. Still want to have her baby. Seeing her on Jimmy Fallon recently re-affirmed everything. She is all I have ever wanted, and more.
Do I remember who I used to be? Honestly, no. The person I was a year ago seems like a stranger. To be honest, I don't wish to imagine a world where I did not love this woman. So now, when you're discussing me, do me a favor. I know you'll mention my long-running TV show and you'll touch on my obsession with the Mets, but don't forget the most important detail of all... that I love Taylor Swift.
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