R.I.P. DMX

05/12/98. I was wrapping up my senior year in high school, a few weeks away from graduating. So basically, I wasn’t doing shit. I had finished most of my classes so my biggest priority on this day was to go to HMV on 72nd and Broadway (the OGs will know what I’m talking about) and cop “It’s Dark & Hell Is Hot”, the debut album from DMX. His first single “Get At Me Dog” had dropped a few months prior and I needed to see what X was capable of doing with a full album. He had a lot of the intangibles that are critical to being a hip-hop star: he was energetic, charismatic, and he possessed a once-in-a-lifetime voice that added edge to his signature growls. The anticipation was high and I wanted to be one of the first to capture the experience.

If me mentioning HMV, a music store that hasn’t been in business for around 45 years wasn’t enough to date me, me telling you that after I bought the CD, I popped it into my portable CD player is sure to get the job done. I remember listening to it on the bus on my way to school, and then finishing the album once I left. I also remember thinking to myself, “this mfer did it”. Historically, when a hip-hop artist generates the type of buzz that X had before a debut album, the odds of disappointment are sky high. Although it’s unfair to the artist, it’s reality. If you drop a song or two and they hit big, you are now equipped with the nearly impossible task of creating a damn near flawless masterpiece that’ll leave your listeners satisfied. This challenge has severely damaged the careers of many rappers, who despite giving it their best shot, ended up coming up short, much to the chagrin of their (now former) fan base.

X did the impossible, however. “Get At Me Dog” was an energetic, boastful, three minute display of X’s talents, but it didn’t give too much insight into the type of artist he might be. The song mostly associated with his debut album, “Ruff Ryders Anthem”, wasn’t too different on the surface, so up to this point, X was still a bit of a mystery. All those questions were answered with “It’s Dark & Hell Is Hot”, a 65-minute journey into the mind of a man chasing angels and battling demons. DMX wasn’t just a dude barking on tracks, or a guy using his trademark voice as a crutch. He had one of the rarest gifts a hip-hop artist can have: he had depth.

For those that don’t know, I had my own TV show for many years and starting in 1997, I had started getting opportunities to interview artists. For a teenager, this was fuckin’ mind-blowing, and looking back at it now, it’s still incredible. A few days, and several spins of the album later, I was contacted by a representative at Def Jam records who had an open press spot available... to interview DMX. As poised as I was back then, this got my adrenaline rushing. Some of the artists I had interviewed up to this point were either new/up and coming, ones I had no interest in musically, or more often than not, a combination of the two. Clearly, this was not going to be one of those times.

There was a packed house that day, with various members of local media all waiting to speak to the man who just dropped an instant classic. When I got my chance, I walked my boney-ass frame in my oversized gap tee over to DMX and introduced myself. Interestingly enough, the guy that X portrayed himself as in his music wasn’t a portrayal at all, as his energy that day was consistent with everything I had heard to that day. The highlight of the interview was when I told him to forget about the interview, that as a fan of hip-hop, I appreciate his album and I really enjoyed it. Out of everything we spoke about that day, that remark was the one that seemed to resonate the most with X. He nodded his head in agreement and told me he understood what I meant because at the end of the day, he’s a fan of hip-hop as well.

I could’ve written this article a while ago. 1998 was over 20 years ago. I didn’t. What caused me to reflect on this memory is that today, 4/9/21, DMX passed away. While it’s true that people usually don’t get their flowers until they can’t receive them, I can say I gave X his flowers when I met him, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Since the day I met him, DMX went on to become one of the biggest artists on the planet, achieving superhuman feats like dropping two number one albums in the same calendar year. He went on to act in a few films, wrote a book, and completely takeover songs he was featured on. Unfortunately, he also seemed to struggle with some of the same themes he so eloquently rapped about on his debut album. Chasing angels and battling demons.

Rest Easy X

My favorite 40 songs of 2018

Happy 2019, ya filthy animals!

I'm here making my annual appearance. Please don't get gassed and think because I'm kicking off the year with a new post that this is gonna be some sort of consistent ritual. There is a good chance this is the only thing I write for the whole year. Yeah I know, I'm a POS.

Anyway, I thought I would return to my roots (wait... I had roots?) and post my favorite songs from the past year. This list is subjective but that doesn't mean you can't roast tf out of it. There's not much criteria here... these are simply the 40 songs I enjoyed the most in 2018. Why 40? I don't know, tbh. It just feels like a good number to cap this at. Plus I missed the past few years (which was usually my fav 30) so y'all muthafuckas have earned an extra 10 songs for your troubles.

On to the list!

40. Migos 'Stir Fry'
Hell has frozen over

39. Kanye West 'Yikes'
But I'm still 'Make Kanye 2006 Again' all day

38. Rich The Kid 'Plug Walk'
I'm not gonna pretend like this is full of lyrical content ('space coupe like E.T.?!') but the beat bangs

37. Bazzi 'Mine'
At only 2:11 long, this might pack the most punch per second for any song this year

36. Justin Timberlake 'SoulMate'
35. James Bay 'Pink Lemonade'
34. 5 Seconds of Summer 'Youngblood'
Nothing like some good ol' fashioned white pop

33. J Balvin feat. Anitta & Jeon 'Machika'
32. Nicky Jam & J Balvin 'X'
31. Maluma feat. Nego Do Borel 'Corazon'
30. Reik feat. Ozuna & Wisin 'Me Niego'
You have now reached the portion of the countdown where you're reminded that I'm Puerto Rican & Dominican

29. 6ix9ine feat. DJ SpinKing 'TATI'
As much as I don't want to, I like the kid. His energy is undeniable. Free my dude

28. Mike Will Made-It feat. A$AP Rocky, Nicki Minaj & A$AP Ferg 'Runnin''
27. Nicki Minaj 'Chun-Li'
Sure, she may have said some wild shit last year but this is classic Nicki right here (and I mean that in a good way)

26. Drake 'Mob Ties'
This is the type of energy he should've brought to the Pusha T battle

25. Clean Bandit feat. Marina & The Diamonds & Luis Fonsi 'Baby'
I admit I just heard this a few days ago but I CAN'T STOP LISTENING

24. Marc Anthony, Will Smith & Bad Bunny 'Esta Rico'
Initially, I thought this song could do without the Fresh Prince. But then I kept singing 'I think you're delicious' in my head

23. DJ Snake feat. Cardi B, Ozuna & Selena Gomez 'Taki Taki'
Sadly, this isn't Cardi B's only appearance here. Wtf is wrong with me

22. Christina Aguilera feat. Demi Lovato 'Fall In Line'
21. Clean Bandit feat. Demi Lovato 'Solo'
On a personal level, 2018 was probably a year Demi Lovato would like to forget, but she did kill it on these two bangers

20. Khalid 'Better'
Smooth soul from a dude rocking a flat top

19. Post Malone 'Better Now'
So we're just gonna ignore the fact this dude looks homeless?

18. Anderson .Paak feat. J. Cole 'Trippy'
My pick for album of the year. 'Oxnard' is worth your time

17. Ella Mai 'Boo'd Up'
I have been caught singing this shit in some of the sassiest ways possible

16. DaniLeigh 'Lil BeBe'
Dominicaaaa ahh ahh ahh

15. Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B 'Finesse (Remix)'
It pains me to say this but Cardi did enhance this song. On a related note: I don't know who I am anymore

14. J. Cole '1985'
More bars like this in 2019 por favor

13. YG feat. 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Nicki Minaj 'Big Bank'
You couldn't have picked better features to rock this beat

12. Kanye West & Lil Pump 'I Love It'
'You're such a fuckin' hoe, I love it'... yesss bring out my inner thot

11. Drake feat. Michael Jackson 'Don't Matter To Me'
Now THIS is how you do a posthumous collabo with MJ

10. Childish Gambino 'This Is America'
In under four minutes, Donald Glover takes us on a musical voyage, complete with various vibes. Like this country, the mood is uplifting & joyful at times, but also rough & sinister at others. 'This Is America' got a lot of attention due to it's graphic visuals (easily the video of the year) but the song accompanies it so beautifully.

9. Ariana Grande 'No Tears Left To Cry'
2018 was the year I finally understood the appeal to Ariana Grande, 'cause before that I was utterly confused. There is no way I'm gonna be able to hit the high notes she reaches in the hook, but that hasn't stopped me from trying. Cover your ears, pendejos.

8. Kendrick Lamar & SZA 'All The Stars'
Apparently, everything associated with 'Black Panther' was gold. Movie was a huge commercial success, and the soundtrack did phenomenal as well. The lead single set off the buzz, and with good reason. "This maybe the night that my dreams might let me know all the stars are closer." Shit had me ready to go to war for Wakanda.

7. Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 'Shallow'
I knew this song (and movie) was gonna be a smash when I saw the trailer months before it's release. Sure enough, both did not disappoint. This is gonna be one of my go-to karaoke songs. And yes, I'll be doing Gaga's part.

6. Drake 'Nice For What'
Drake was making it impossible for me not to have him in heavy rotation. We already discussed his masterful MJ mix, but now you're just gonna sample the queen L-Boogie and expect me not to F with it? The whole world was singing 'kiki, do you love me?' last year, but quietly, this song was superior.

5. Lil Wayne 'Uproar'
There is great power in the 'Special Delivery' beat. When G. Dep rapped on it almost 20(!!) years ago, it had muthafuckas looking like they were catching seizures. Now you're gonna have a revitalized Weezy on there while Swizz Beatz hypes it up in the back? They trying to put dudes in a coma.

4. A$AP Ferg 'Harlem Anthem'
I rented 'Uncle Drew' and what stuck with me the most was the credits. Not because the movie was bad... a few cheap laughs, but entertaining overall. It's because this gem was playing over it. This is real New York rap, and that is the greatest compliment I can give anything musically.

3. Nas feat. Kanye West 'Cops Shot The Kid'
When it was announced that Nas was gonna drop a new album executive produced by Kanye, I was stoked. Seven tracks later, I was let down. You can't give the greatest MC of all-time 26 minutes for an album. FOH. It also seemed like the two lacked chemistry throughout the project. This song, however, is what I was expecting. A genius use of a Slick Rick sample to "remind 'em why Kaep kneels."

2. Jaden Smith feat. Nicky Jam 'Icon (Remix)'
After one of the many Met games I attended, there was a post-game concert featuring Busta Rhymes and a 'special guest'. That guest was Jaden Smith. That was the start of my fandom. Since then, I have been telling anyone that would listen that young Jaden is gonna be the biggest rap star on the planet one day. This song is exhibit A.

1. J. Cole 'Kevin's Heart'
I've officially entered Cole into my favorite 10 rappers of all-time. And that is a BIG deal. One of his strongest qualities is how he makes his music so relatable. 'Kevin's Heart' is no different. On some level, every guy can identify with this song... fighting that never-ending battle of temptation while in a committed relationship. "If I take this cookie now, one day I'll do the time." Choose wisely.

And there you have it! Hope you enjoyed the list. If you have ideas for future blogs, hit me up and let me know and maybe I'll be more active on here this year. Maybe.

MARCY MADNESS - 92 BRICKS REGION

Welcome back to Marcy Madness! Quick reminder... some geniuses took the opportunity to turn college basketball's sacred annual tournament into a Jay-Z festival, putting 64 of Jigga's best songs in a free-for-all where only one champion can reign victorious. Here is the bracket:

Last week, I tackled the Blue Region, and Encore became our first representative into the Final Four. Today, it's time to show some love to the 92 Bricks region. Let's get this party started.

FIRST ROUND

(1) PSA over (16) Oh My God
Oh My God is a severely underrated track that gets overlooked because Kingdom Come was one of Jay's worst efforts. However, PSA is a true #1 seed, deserving of that honor. No UMBC/Virginia situation over here.

(8) Lucifer over (9) Murder to Excellence
Maybe I was high when Watch The Throne came out because I didn't remember Gotta Have It from the last region and didn't know wtf Murder to Excellence was from. Dope track, so maybe I slept on WTT, but I can't advance a song I couldn't remember off top.

(12) So Ghetto over (5) Dynasty Intro
Dynasty Intro shouldn't be on this list, let alone a 5 seed. It's a three minute track and Jay is talking over 1/2 of it. Gimme Jay-Z over a Primo track any day.

(4) Dead Presidents II over (13) 4:44
I hate you 'prisoner of the moment' muthafuckas. Only song that should be in this tournament from 4:44 is The Story of OJ. Nice album, but any song from Reasonable Doubt shits on his most recent project.

(11) Takeover over (6) No Church In The Wild
Now THIS is a song from Watch The Throne that I remember! No Church is tough, and arguably the best song off WTT. But Takeover was part of one of the most memorable and prolific rap battles of all-time. Takeover is running this rap shit.

(3) Hard Knock Life over (14) Jigga My Nigga
Jigga My Nigga is a casualty of horrible ranking. His contribution to the Ruff Ryders compilation still knocks today and would have been a real threat to get far in this tourney. Hard Knock Life, however, turned Jay-Z into a superstar.

(7) A Million & One Questions over (10) Legacy
More songs from 4:44? You're making this too easy. A Million & One is another spectacular intro, this time kicking off Volume 1 over a Primo beat. A blowout win here.

(2) 99 Problems over (15) Blueprint (Momma Loves Me)
Another victim of shitty rankings. Also, the hardest decision I have made thus far. If these seeds were done correctly, I could easily see Blueprint (Momma Loves Me) being a strong Elite 8 contender. Unfortunately, it's one and done.

SECOND ROUND

(1) PSA over (8) Lucifer
Jay-Z's connections to the Illuminati have been well documented, and a song like Lucifer wasn't going to quiet that talk. But even the biggest demons can't stop PSA from shooting at them like movie directors.

(4) Dead Presidents II over (12) So Ghetto
So Ghetto can not do what Encore did... reach the Final Four as a 12 seed. Dead Presidents is infamously known as the song that Nas made a hot line but Jay-Z made a hot song.

(3) Hard Knock Life over (6) Takeover
Takeover was an integral component of Jay's classic The Blueprint, but Hard Knock Life was an integral component of his career. Many forget that Jay was a well-respected MC but did not appeal to the masses on a grand level until his Annie-themed anthem dropped.

(7) A Million & One Questions over (2) 99 Problems
Rick Rubin definitely brought the heat on 99 Problems, and Jay-Z's cop/civilian exchange is priceless, but A Million is Jay's defining intro that still sounds fresh over 20 years later.

SWEET SIXTEEN

(1) PSA over (4) Dead Presidents II
Let me get this off my chest... the original Dead Presidents wins the whole tournament. That's the best song Jay-Z has ever done. I wish I could tarnish this tournament a little and turn Dead Prez II into the original, but that wouldn't be fair. PSA has too much electricity and energy to be brought down by a watered down sequel.

(3) Hard Knock Life over (7) A Million & One Questions
One of the million questions I would have is: Which song turned Jay-Z 'from lukewarm to hot?' Jay-Z and Annie advance to the next round.

ELITE EIGHT

(3) Hard Knock Life over (1) PSA
This was close. PSA only has two verses, no hook, and is labeled as an interlude, but Just Blaze supplied an A+ banger and Jay rose to the occasion. I just can't ignore impact, and Hard Knock Life gave Jigga the big mainstream hit he needed to go global. Everything that Sunshine failed to do (including that horrendous video where Hype Williams thought it would be a good idea to shoot close-ups of Jay-Z's face with a fish-eyed lens), he accomplished with Hard Knock Life, all without sacrificing any of his street appeal. HKL comes out the competitive 92 Bricks region and enters the Final Four.

Two regions down, two to go! Who will join Encore and Hard Knock Life in the Final Four? My breakdown of the Blueprint region will be coming to a blog near you. Thank you for reading this... and if you with me mama, rub on your tits... and what not.

MARCY MADNESS - BLUE REGION

*wakes up after 18 month hibernation*

Y'all muthafuckas still here?

By this point, you should know that I only come back here if I have some heat. Well, I got some FIRE for yo' ass. March Madness is upon us, as selection Sunday is in the books and College Basketball hits it's three week peak tonight. In the spirit of this glorious tournament, some dudes who I assume not only have a love for hip-hop but also plenty of time on their hands created a bracket devoted to arguably the greatest rapper of all-time, Jay-Z. March Madness has the 64 best College Basketball teams. Marcy Madness, as they brilliantly named it, has 64 of Jay-Z's best songs. Witness this masterpiece.

The rankings are questionable, to say the least, but the idea is genius. It's subjective, anyway, and leaves the door open for some tasty upsets. There's no way you can post something as clever as a Jigga version of March Madness and not have me add my two cents in. So, without any further ado, here are my results for the Blue region.

FIRST ROUND

(1) Can I Live over (16) Smile

Any track off Reasonable Doubt is a winner, but Can I Live is definitely not one of Jay-Z's best four songs. So yeah, the #1 seed is odd, to say the least. Still, it's an easy winner over Smile, aka the song on 4:44 where Jay-Z lets the world know his mom eats the box.

(8) What More Can I Say over (9) Streets Is Talking

Initially, I thought this battle featured Streets Is Watching, which would have been a much better choice (and an odd omission) over the little-known Streets Is Talking, the Beanie Sigel collab off of the Dynasty album. What More Can I Say is one of my least favorite songs off The Black Album, but is still dope enough for the win here.

(12) Encore over (5) Imaginary Player

UPSET ALERT! But is it really? Who are these people who think Imaginary Player is a better song than Encore? Have these people never been to a Jay-Z show? A 12 seed for one of Jay-Z's signature songs is a joke, no matter how subjective these rankings are.

(4) Can I Get A... over (13) Gotta Have It

I'll be honest... I had no idea what Gotta Have it was. Turns out it was on the underwhelming Kanye West tag team project Watch The Throne. Song is fire, no doubt, but if I had to look it up to refresh my memory, I'd be hard pressed to give it a W over the easily-recognizable and pop hit Can I Get A..., despite Amil's guest appearance.

(6) Renegade over (11) Change Clothes

You can't go wrong with any Neptunes track, especially if Jay is on it. But no way in hell is Change Clothes going to knock off Renegade, even if Eminem murdered him on his own shit.

(3) Empire State of Mind over (14) Regrets

Yes, Regrets is an appropriate anchor for Jay-Z's classic debut, and any track on that album is a monster, but was there really not a better choice? We couldn't fit Dope Man on here instead? Jay & Alicia had NYC feeling themselves hard after years of Southern dominance. It's also one of my go-to karaoke songs. Regrets, regrettably, is not.

(10) The Ruler's Back over (7) 03 Bonnie & Clyde

Jiggaman has a reputation for that intro track fire, and The Ruler's back, the lead-off song off The Blueprint, does not disappoint. 03 Bonnie & Clyde, on the other hand, is Jay-Z & Beyoncé taking a massive shit on Makaveli's 'Me & My Girlfriend'. It's more of a 17th seed than a 7th seed. Easy 'upset' here.

(2) The Story of OJ over (15) A Week Ago

For all the "Money, Cash, Hoes' tracks that Jay-Z has (btw that song should DEFINITELY be a part of this), he does occasionally drop some deep shit. The Story of OJ is a masterful depiction on how social mobility does not erase the hardships of being a Black man in America. A Week Ago never had a video... The Story of OJ had possibly his best.

SECOND ROUND

(1) Can I Live over (8) What More Can I Say
I wasn't super excited to advance What More Can I Say to this round, and although I don't agree with Can I Live being a #1 seed, it's still a powerhouse complete with a mean set of horns.

(12) Encore over (4) Can I Get A...
UPSET ALERT! Does Jay-Z even perform Can I Get A... on tour? I've never seen him do it. Although I would be curious to see what Amil looks like now. And what about her voice? That shit was raspy as hell when she was a PYT. She probably sounds like DMX now.

(6) Renegade over (3) Empire State of Mind
UPSET ALE... you get the hint by now. Forget Eminem outshining him on Renegade. Dismiss the jury still being out on whether Jay-Z even flowed properly to the beat. The back & forth of two hip-hop heavyweights in their primes is too much for Jay & Alicia's smash hit to handle.

(2) The Story of OJ over (10) The Ruler's Back
Thus far, this has been my toughest decision. The Ruler's Back has gems, but The Story of OJ is trying to sell you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99. Did I mention the video is dope AF?

SWEET SIXTEEN

(12) Encore over (1) Can I Live
The Cinderella story continues! The chants of 'Hova!' ring loud as Can I Live's dream of capturing the crown fade to black.

(6) Renegade over (2) The Story of OJ
What really hurts The Story of OJ is that it just came out last year. There hasn't been enough time for the song to marinate and earn classic status. Renegade is damn near 17 years old and still bangs. I can't see the Story of OJ bumping like that in 2034.

ELITE EIGHT

(12) Encore over (6) Renegade

It's grand opening, grand closing for Renegade, as Encore reigns supreme out of the Blue region. It's hard to remember now, especially since Jay-Z has dropped so much material since The Black Album, but that was supposed to be his farewell joint. At that point, we didn't know if he would come back like Jordan wearing the 4-5. You know the story by now... he did eventually return... but Encore would have been the perfect send off if he never did.

That concludes the Blue region. Congratulations to Encore for securing a spot in the Final Four! Check back soon as I will tackle the 92 Bricks bracket shortly. Hope you enjoyed and thank you as always for the read.

Jose Fernandez

I hated Jose Fernandez.

Yes, I really did.

I should start this by saying what anyone knows within 10 seconds of meeting me... I am a huge Mets fan. Like, super obsessive. Been to over 60 games this year alone. Caps, jerseys, jackets, baseball cards, bobbleheads. Even custom-made Mets Converse sneakers. I have it all.

If you've been paying attention to this amazin' team this year, you'd know they're in the mix of a playoff hunt. Well, they were. Fortunately, my squad locked up the first Wild Card berth and will continue on their postseason path. But rewind a week ago and that spot was very much in jeopardy. Although the Mets had been the hottest team in baseball for the past five weeks, you just never know what can happen in the last week of baseball, especially with gutty teams like the Giants & the Cardinals on our trail.

I was at Citi Field on Friday, September 23rd. Last regular season weekend at the palace in Flushing, Queens. Nothing like watching my boys beat up on the hapless Phillies after a long day of work. Glancing at the schedule ahead, I noticed something that made me happier than the end result of the game (spoiler alert: the Mets won 10-5). Our next series was on the road against the Miami Marlins. Definitely not an elite team but one of those pesky, average teams that can play above average at any moment. Sure, they had a solid line-up. Their big bat, Giancarlo Stanton, had returned and he joined other formidable hitters like Christian Yelich & Dee Gordon to round out a solid offensive core. But they're pitching? Straight trash, homey. A bunch of mediocre arms who were essentially the main reason Miami was no longer in the playoff race. That rotation had one exception, and it was a big one.

Jose Fernandez, the 24-year-old Cuban superstar, was the only arm that pumped fear in your heart. Not only was he easily the best pitcher on that staff, but at such a young age, he had established himself as one of the best pitchers in the league. Now, there are a handful of elite pitchers in the majors, but Jose stood out. What he brought to the table went beyond his talent. He brought a unique sense of entertainment and charisma rarely seen on the mound. Extremely competitive but always having fun with a smile. It's what parents dream of when they enroll their kids into sports. He personified the way you imagine the game should be played.

And how do I know all of this? Just so happens the Marlins were in the same division as the Mets. Unfortunately, I had seen that smile many times at the expense of my team. To make the torture even worse, I was at Miami in July of this year to watch the Mets play in Marlins Park and caught a Jose Fernandez start in person. Jose was a dominant pitcher in general, but in Miami? He was godly. In 272.1 innings, Jose was 29-2 with a 1.49 ERA. For those of you who don't understand baseball statistics, just know that those stats are FUCKING AMAZING. And the people of Miami knew this. I saw three games during my stay down south. The two that Jose didn't pitch? It was like I was at the library. The game that Jose pitched (and of course the one game we ultimately lost)? As much energy as I've ever seen in the usually non-energetic Marlins Park. The fans were not shy. They were coming out to support their hometown hero.

As a Mets fan, I'm used to having my heart ripped out. When things can't go our way, they usually don't. But the stars must've aligned this time. Because as I glanced at the upcoming schedule on this brisk summer night on September 23rd, I noticed we would not have to face Jose Fernandez. WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO FACE JOSE FERNANDEZ! THANK YOU JESUS! That's right... Jose was scheduled to pitch the day before against the Braves. But I couldn't care less about who he was facing, as long as it wasn't my Mets. Things were finally looking up.

Remember that thing I said about being a Mets fan and not having things go your way? Yeah... well... that shit happened again. Turns out the Marlins made the decision to postpone Jose's start until Monday, which just so happened to be the first game of the series against... you guessed it... the New York Mets. At Miami. Where he is unstoppable. I'm used to the baseball Gods teabagging me but this was just a different level of cruel. As optimistic as I am about my team, I had already mentally filed Monday's game into the loss column. The odds of us handing him only his third loss ever at home seemed highly unlikely.

I wake up on Sunday, September 25th, ready to attend the last regular season home game at Citi Field. As per my morning ritual, I check Instagram to see if y'all muthafuckas are liking my flicks. I follow several baseball accounts and noticed that someone had left a comment about Jose Fernandez dying. Yeah, OK. I am way too sharp to fall for one of those internet hoaxes where some random celebrity or athlete 'dies'. But let me check ESPN.com to confirm, you know, just to be on the safe side.

Damn.

It's been a week since Jose Fernandez tragically passed away and I have to admit, it's been bothering me more than I would have expected. It's sad when any young man loses his life, let alone one as talented as Jose. But the raw emotion from his teammates, his family, his fans and the rest of the league struck a chord with me, mostly because I could understand why they were so devastated by this loss. Yes, he was a two time All-Star and the 2013 Rookie of the Year, but he was so much more. The reasons I hated Jose... his competitiveness, his charisma, his smile... were the same reasons people loved him. Add in the well documented history of his past... attempting to defect from Cuba three times unsuccessfully... and you got an understanding of why he smiled so much while he played the game he loved. That smile... that PASSION... resonated with many people. Even me.

Maybe I don't hate Jose Fernandez after all.

Rest In Peace

MY SUPER BOWL PREDICTION!

Blogs on back-to-back days?! Has this dude lost his mind?!

Complete coincidence, kids. Don't get used to it. But today is the big day... Super Bowl 50. You're familiar with the storylines. The young gunner Cam Newton trying to win his first chip against the old arm of Peyton Manning. So who will win in this battle of dabby versus flabby? It's prediction time, bitches.

Panthers over Broncos

The Panthers have defied all odds this season, coming one fluky loss to Atlanta away from running the table. When top WR Kelvin Benjamin tore every ligament in his leg before the season began, it looked like Carolina's offense would be putrid, with only premier TE Greg Olsen resembling a threat. But Cam, in true MVP form, put the team on his back, even making previous scrub Ted Ginn Jr. a legitimate star. The Panthers O is definitely one of those units where it's sum is bigger than it's individual parts, and it's an understatement to say that Cam is the glue that brings it all together.

They'll have their hands full with the vaunted Denver defense. The #1 overall D this year equipped with playmakers throughout the field, the Broncos have excelled at making top-tier offenses look mediocre. The issue here is Carolina has beaten Arizona and Seattle in the postseason so far, and those two teams, although not ranked as high as Denver, are also known for their punishing defenses. Many think Cam, in his first Super Bowl trip, will have his hands full with the Denver D, but actually I think it's the complete opposite.

However, the game is really going to come down to Denver's offense vs. Carolina's defense. Much has been said about Peyton's season. Dead arm against the strong winds of the winter, mixed with a injured foot lead to the opening of the Brock Osweiler show. While Brock looked serviceable, even at the age of 39, Peyton gives Denver the best chance to win. And that almost 40-year-old arm will be the key to this game. Sailing cream puffs to a Carolina D that picked MVP candidate Carson Palmer four times, including taking one to the house, is not a recipe for victory. Peyton needs his arm to become bionic in what could be his last rodeo. I don't see it. The Panthers are steamrolling teams right now and I don't believe Denver has the firepower to keep up.

The interesting piece will be how Peyton's legacy goes down if he does indeed lose. Dan Marino would be the first to tell you that he'd trade in all his legendary stats for just one ring, but for Peyton to get to the big show four times and only leave with one ring would be disappointing. For any ordinary QB, not a big deal, but for someone in the all-time QB discussion, that could be a devastating blow. For that reason, and the fact that he's Eli's big bro, my heart is with Peyton. But my mind is with Cam and the Panthers.

Carolina 34, Denver 21

Enjoy the game, pendejos. Be safe and easy on the pizza.

My least favorite songs of 2015

Greetings, mutants!

As you may (or should) have read by now, my favorite 30 songs of 2015 are in the books. Awesome anthems like 'Bad Blood', 'I Can't Feel My Face' and 'Uptown Funk' made last year magical. But not magical enough. Sadly, musical geniuses like Taylor Swift, The Weeknd and Bruno Mars were outnumbered by tone deaf trolls who continue to pollute the airwaves with their over-saturated tunes.

In an effort to highlight the biggest offenders, last year I began to list my LEAST favorite songs of the year. Because they need some love, too. And I'm not gonna lie... I am starting to enjoy this more than listing my actual favorites. This is like my therapy... being able to pound on the keyboard and shit on all these scam artists posing as recording artists.

Well, my friends, this year will be no different. My wrath will be unleashed once again! *clears throat* OK quick reminder... I only focused on songs that were mainstream relevant. No need to point the finger on some fucktard's mixtape that he's harassing tourists to buy in Times Square. The bigger the impact these songs made, the more likely they were to piss me off.

It's go time. I present to you... my least favorite songs of 2015.

Fetty Wap 'Trap Queen'
From the moment I heard this travesty, I knew it would be on this list. The fact that this is arguably one of the biggest hits of 2015 is an indictment on how dumbed down the audience has become. Fans of this trash are going to say I am unreasonably sour on this song but tell me, what do you like about it? Is it the off-key belting? Or maybe it's the solid content, praising birds who handle drugs for their scumbag boyfriends? Oh, that's right... it's catchy. If you have this on your playlist, there's a warm place in hell for your tasteless ass.

Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo 'Time Of Our Lives'
After appearing on my top songs of the year list repeatedly, Pitbull appeared on the worst song list last year for his collaboration with that skank Ke$ha. Now he drags poor Ne-Yo into the mix with one of the worst written songs of '15. Here's the gem of a chorus:

I knew my rent was gon' be late about a week ago
I worked my ass off, but I still can't pay it though
But I got just enough to get up in this club
Have me a good time, before my time is up

Wonderful message. Hey kids, fuck your rent... go to the club and waste your money on overpriced alcoholic beverages while you listen to rubbish like this!

Meghan Trainor 'Dear Future Husband'
I really wanted to put anything this culture vulture sings but I will narrow it down to one of her corny ass songs. Ever since I heard 'All About That Bass', I knew this snowflake was up to no good, defacing old school soul music by slapping a big, fat pasty face on it. It's a shame we struggle to highlight black soul singers but are quick to promote melanin-challenged muthafuckas like this who are nothing but cheap imitations. Speaking of which...

Charlie Pugh feat. Meghan Trainor 'Marvin Gaye'
You thought you were off the hook, Meghan? Well not so fast! Now your equally annoying sidekick is gonna get some, too. It's one thing ripping off black music, but then having the audacity to use a legendary black singer as the title of the song? Oh no he didn't. Yeah, I know Charlie, you were aight on that Wiz track and maybe your chorus made a few folks shed some tears for Paul, but that doesn't earn you a 'get out of jail free' card. 'Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on?' Both of you, go somewhere deserted and take your watered down, soul-lacking 'soul music' with you.

Usher feat. Juicy J 'I Don't Mind'
Just when you thought Pitbull & Ne-Yo had the 'worst written song of the year' award wrapped up, here comes this little gem. So apprarently, this song is about dating a stripper and being able to see past the obvious obstacles because, despite her shaking her culo in front of a bunch of derelicts, she's still leaving the club with you. And you know what? I'm willing to look past that, because there are a handful of dancers who are swallowing their pride so they can put themselves through school or feed their kids. But here's the problem...

'I make enough for the both of us, but you dance anyway'

Yes, that's an actual lyric from this shit-fest of a song. Ursher makes it clear that his income can comfortably support himself and this trick, but she still chooses to drop down and get her eagle on for singles. And here I thought stripping was a last resort to make some money. How foolish!

Rihanna & Kanye West feat. Paul McCartney 'Four Five Seconds'
Kanye West is married to Kim Kardashian... and I HATE Kim Kardashian. That association alone could land this song on this list. The biggest reason? Kanye's awful singing. Look, everybody can't be Drake. And really, why would someone as talented as Kanye want to follow that blueprint anyway? That singing shit ain't for everyone. To make matters worse, Rihanna slayed the track. Take out Yeezy, factor in the Beatles connection and RiRi might be taking home a grammy. You hear that, Kanye? You just cost Rihanna a grammy. Selfish prick.

Drake & Future 'Jumpman'
Speaking of Drake, what the fuck was this? Is this what the kids are listening to now-a-days? This is another case of addition by subtraction. Admittedly, this song would've avoided this list with just Drizzy. But just like practically everything in life, Future ruins it. What is the obsession with this dude? He sounds like someone with down syndrome being autotuned. Google the lyrics to this rubbage and tell me if I'm missing something. I know style has always played a big part in rap music but when it's 95% style and 5% substance, something has gotta change.

I think I got enough off my chest for one year. Let this be a message to all artists, regardless of genre... I'm watching you. Drop some basura in 2016 and I'm gonna be on yo' ass. GeeQue, out.

My favorite 30 songs of 2015

Feliz año nuevo, pendejos!

Hope 2015 was kind to you. Musically... truthfully... it was another sub-par year. I would love to lie and tell you it was the extravagant comeback we have been anticipating for years but frankly, it was more of the same. Thankfully, by the grace of God, I was able to gather 30 songs that I deemed worthy enough to be featured in this annual masterpiece.

I'm sure I say this every year so let me continue the tradition... this is my favorite blog to write. Matter of fact, this is the 5th annual list! *confetti falls* I understand the responsibility... I don't take this list as a joke. Throughout the year, I am closely monitoring the tunes that get my culo shaking. I say this also to remind you that these aren't the BEST songs of the year, but rather my FAVORITE. I expect your list to look very different than mine, because we different muthafuckas. But don't let that stop you from debating or even shittin' on my list. I welcome the war, hoe.

OK enough suspense... let's get to it, folks. My favorite 30 songs of the past year.

30. Nicki Minaj feat. Drake & Lil Wayne 'Truffle Butter'
Not sure what I enjoy more... the song or the definition on Urban Dictionary

29. Calvin Harris & Disciples 'How Deep Is Your Love'
Making great dance music and boning Taylor Swift. Calvin Harris, you lucky son of a gun

28. Hailee Steinfeld 'Love Myself'
96% sure this song is about masturbation

27. Halsey 'New Americana'
Getting high on legal weed? Check. Raised on Biggie & Nirvana? Check. Top 30 song? Duh

26. Selena Gomez 'Same Old Love'
Trying my hardest not to be sexually attracted to her and failing miserably

25. Gente de Zona feat. Marc Anthony 'La Gozadera'
In case you didn't believe I'm Latino

24. Melanie Martinez 'Soap'
My all-time favorite contestant from 'The Voice'

23. Miguel 'Waves'
Slowly becoming my go-to guy in the R&B department

22. DJ Snake & AlunaGeorge 'You Know You Like It'
21. Skrillex & Diplo feat. AlunaGeorge 'To U'
Still unclear about who AlunaGeorge is/are but welcome to the top 30, you infectious asshole(s)

20. Justin Bieber 'What Do You Mean?'
In 2016, there shall be no more Belieber shaming

19. Walk The Moon 'Shut Up & Dance'
Would've been higher if I didn't hear it 35325647 times

18. Elle King 'Ex's & Oh's'
Mmmm bring your lil chubby, tattooed ass over here

17. G-Eazy feat. Bebe Rexha 'Me Myself & I'
Are we positive this isn't Drake?

16. Troy Ave 'Doo Doo'
Shittin' on haters, literally

15. Luke Bryan 'Kick The Dust Up'
A country song made my top 30! History has been made!

14. Tori Kelly 'Nobody Love'
Taylor is lucky she has my heart, 'cuz I'd taste a scoop of Tori Kelly's vanilla ice cream any day

13. Fifth Harmony feat. Kid Ink 'Worth It'
Come & show me that you're wit it, wit it, wit it, wit it

12. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 'Downtown'
You recruit Melle Mel, Grandmaster Caz and Kool Moe Dee for a song... in 2015?! Awesome

11. Missy Elliott feat. Pharrell 'WTF (Where They From)'
Missy could literally drop wet farts on this electric Neptunes beat for three minutes and still make my list

10. Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars 'Uptown Funk'
I know what you're thinking... every time Bruno Mars makes the countdown, I reference his 'Moonshine Jungle' show that I attended at the Barclay's Center in the spring of 2013. How it was the best live performance I have ever attended. How energetic, lively and overall entertaining he was. I promise you, I will not do that this year.

9. Meek Mill feat. Tory Lanez 'Lord Knows'
Look, I know he battled Drake and got embarrassed. I know he was the subject of many mean-spirited memes. I could care less. Maybe I'm swayed because this was the backdrop to the most epic scene in 'Creed'. Whatever the case, this BANGS. So yes, Meek Mill might have caught an L to Drake, but that Canadian clown didn't sniff a spot on my top 30, so who really won?

8. Demi Lovato 'Cool For The Summer'
I couldn't name you three Demi Lovato songs if my life depended on it. I mean, I know she is... the kind-of-cute judge from the X-Factor that used to be depressed. But her music never struck a chord with me. That is, until she dropped this anthem that is sure to be played during our warmest season for the next century.

7. The Weeknd 'Can't Feel My Face'
Justin Timberlake has been trying his best to channel Michael Jackson for years now, even 'collaborating' with MJ on his posthumous release 'Xscape' in 2014. He never got close. THIS song? This feels like MJ reborn. No one will ever come THAT close to the greatness that is Michael Jackson, but I applaud the Weeknd for his valiant effort.

6. Yelawolf feat. Eminem 'Best Friend'
Group me in with the people that find Yelawolf to be a bit corny. Not to say he doesn't have redeeming qualities, I just don't get it. That surely didn't stop me from having this in rotation for at least half the year. In 2016, let's make a plea to release more gully songs about Papa Dios.

5. Lupe Fiasco 'Deliver'
Last year, I found it in my heart to forgive Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, two artists I had previously despised, and reward them with much deserved top 3 spots. Those close to me know why I'm at war with Lupe, and you will know one day when I write my New York Times best seller. Let's just say shit ain't sweet. I may be a lot of things but dammit, I am fair. Lupe's look on poverty in the inner city while using something as delicious as pizza as a metaphor is everything I wish rap was today.

4. J. Cole 'No Role Modelz
'First things first, RIP Uncle Phil... for real.' Captain Save-A-Hoe's beware, this is not the song for you. It's been over a year since Cole dropped his new age classic '2014 Forest Hills Drive' and I still can't get enough. It's refreshing to hear an MC chastise reality show hoes when most of this coon rappers put out trash to attract them.

3. Zedd feat. Jon Bellion 'Beautiful Now'
Usually when I'm running my ass off on the treadmill, the fast paced dance music that gets my legs moving tends to be a bit empty in terms of emotion or content. Ahhhh, at last, I have discovered the perfect mix. The ultimate backdrop to what was a wonderful 2015 for your boy.

2. Major Lazer X DJ Snake feat. Mo 'Lean On'
I have a tight knit group of friends. A lot of them, I have known for over half my life. They understand why I am the crazy mutant I am today. So when I hear something like 'focus, fire a gun, we all need someone to lean on', it gets my spidey sense tingling. The only thing that would make it better is if it were over a thumping Indian-influenced beat. Oh it has that, too? Badass.

1. Taylor Swift 'Bad Blood'
This isn't like last year where 'Happy' was my clear cut #1. Any of the top five songs could have had this spot. So let's look at the tie breakers. Video? Taylor, surrounded by various models and actresses, posing as blood-thirsty heroines. Impact? You already know the numbers '1989' did, and this was arguably her biggest hit off the album. Can I mention how Kendrick Lamar is one of my favorite current MC's, yet I refuse to sync the remix of this song that he's featured on onto my iPod because his verses essentially equate to less Taylor? And finally, and most importantly, let's factor in how I am utterly obsessed with her. I have her calendar on my wall, for crying out loud. Yes, Taylor Swift is #1... on this list, and in my heart.

And there you have it... another year in the books. Can Taylor Swift go back to back next year? Which artist who I currently hate will I forgive? Stay tuned! Until then, I hope 2016 finds you much success, whatever that means to you.

The Responsibility of the Rise of Donald Trump

I didn't watch the Republican GOP debate last night. I also hate politics. So take this blog with a grain of salt. Or disregard it altogether if it makes you feel better. But those brave enough to continue will be rewarded with a secret... a secret which will reveal who exactly is responsible for this spectacle we have been witnessing recently.

By now you know that Donald Trump has emerged as a serious contender to represent the Republican party at the next election. Some have even claimed he poses a threat to front-runner Hilary Clinton, who seemed to be in control not so long ago, mostly due to her familiarity and surname. Like me, you also might have missed last night's disaster but have heard some of it's contents, which apparently included Trump blasting his fellow candidates (and their wives) about their physical appearance. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Here we have the potential 'leader of the free world' (aka slave to the rich) on a national platform essentially calling people ugly. Politics has always been a circus, but never as evident as now. And let me tell you, people are MAD about it.

But before you go on your lil pointless rant about Trump's antics, I want to shed some light on who is really responsible for this whole ordeal. Who really allowed a doofus like Trump to ascend on this meteoric rise. Who gave him the stage to spread his nonsense to the masses, letting his poisonous words penetrate this defenseless nation's ears.

You.

Yeah, muthafucka. You. I'm on my MJ shit. It starts with the man in the mirror.

This country has been headed down this doomed path for quite some time. It should have been easy to see. But apparently we thought consuming hours of reality TV every day would have no consequences. With every new show, we propel another worthless scumbag to infamy, granting them instant celebrity status. The dumber they are, the more famous. Kim Kardashian is arguably the biggest celebrity in the planet right now, despite having minimal talent. Her claim to fame was a sex tape... and her lackluster performance between the sheets was far from unforgettable. She comes from a family who would do anything to retain this status, even having the patriarch get a sex change (Yeah, I said it). She is treated like royalty... her every move documented... yet has contributed nothing (or at least a lot more harm than good) to the well-being of society. We have always been obsessed with celebrities, only the obsession has grown wilder and the celebrities have become trashier.

I know you might be thinking I used Trump's asshole antics to trash on the Kardashian klan. And you might be right. But I see a direct correlation. And guess who else should?

You.

Ok, maybe I'm using this 'you' thing too much. Don't lie, though, that shit looks mad powerful. But really, it's not far-fetched to see the difference. Trump sounds just like a graduate of Kardashian University, feasting on how we prey on public stupidity. We have become so entertained by such despicable behavior that it's no mystery why Trump has gained the national spotlight.

So the next time you're watching some bimbo embarrass herself on 'Love & Hip-Hop' or watching a massive McDonald's melee on Worldstar, don't be up in arms when a worthless 'celebrity' like the ones you spend your precious time watching becomes President of the United States. And don't you dare ask who's fault it is, because who already know the answer. It's...

...should I? Nah, you get the point by now.

Fuck it.

You.

'I'm In Love W/ The Coco (Grandma Remix)'

It's a miracle the original version of this song, by some buster named O.T. Genasis, didn't end up on my 'Worst Songs of 2014' list. Maybe I would have loved it more if this GILF (you figure it out) would've released it instead. Take 'em to church, granny.

Anthony Mason

There are not many athletes that have an impact on my life. That's a grand statement considering that I watch a lot of sports. I love football and baseball. I'm a huge Giant and Met fan, and I support the uniform more than the individual. In rare instances, my love for the actual player matches the jersey they don.

In my teens, my favorite sport to watch was basketball. So much so that I even played a little. Those who have seen me in person are probably having the same reaction... but homey, you a lil muthafucka? I get it, but back in my Junior High School days, I was a beast. Starter on my varsity team, sharpshooter from long range, a righty who shoots lefty. It's even harder to believe if you took me to the courts now, as I probably look like I've never touched a basketball in my life. But in the 90's, I was quite the nifty player.

My favorite team, then and now, was the New York Knicks. I consider myself a Met fan above all, but for that decade, my love for the Knicks came very close to equaling my love for the Mets, even surpassing it at times. Unfortunately, mostly due to the Michael Jordan reign, the Knicks were never able to win a championship. But damn, were those teams fun to watch. You might beat those knicks, but you weren't going to beat UP those Knicks. Charles Oakley, John Starks, Patrick Ewing... those are guys you wanted to go to war with. And it was important because the game was way different back then. Today's NBA is pussified... the league back then was hardcore. Hand check fouls? Yeah, OK. Back then, a clothesline would rarely get you a technical. You didn't just need a good team back then, you needed a crew. And the Knicks had a damn good one.

One of the key members of those teams was Anthony Mason. I'll never forget the first time I became aware of Mase. My mom and I were at the Garden to get some tickets... it had to be around 1991... and there's this mob forming in the lobby. In the center is a towering figure, engaging the crowd, signing autographs while kids tried their best to climb up his legs. He was in his element, un-phased by the attention. Something about the way he handled the situation interested me. I assumed he was a member of the Knicks, but not someone I was familiar with. Not yet, anyway. When the season started, I desperately tried to find the player that was so generous to the Knick fans in the lobby of Madison Square Garden on a regular Saturday. Soon I found out that guy was Anthony Mason.

No need to worry who my favorite player quickly became. Not only was he friendly off the court, but he was an animal on the court. Mason attended high school in Springfield Gardens in Queens, New York, so it made sense that he personified what a New York athlete should play like. Mason was the 53rd pick of the 1988 NBA draft, straight from little-known Tennessee State University. While he was an impressive physical specimen, he wasn't the most talented dude in the league. But Mason WORKED. There's nothing I hate more than an underachiever... someone with tons of God-given ability but no work ethic. Mase was the complete opposite... a workhorse who used his overwhelming physicality to his advantage, eventually earning the prestigious Sixth Man of the Year award in 1995. I got his jersey. I cheered when he entered the game. The only thing stopping me from going full-fledge Mase mode was getting a religious saying etched into my head like he did. I never did it, but boy was I tempted.

Mason left the Knicks in 1996. His departure signaled the beginning of my love for the Knicks fading. Don't get me wrong, I still was (and am) a fan, but once that core unit from the 90's broke up, it was never the same. The grittiness of those teams will never be duplicated.

Anthony Mason passed away yesterday. He was 48 years old. Just like when Gary Carter and the Ultimate Warrior died, a piece of my childhood is gone forever. But still, I will always have the memory of watching this giant amongst regular folks, acting courteous and gracious, and thinking to myself, that's gonna be my new favorite player.

 

Rest In Peace Mase

I Love You, Taylor Swift

(aka 'The blog I thought I would never write')

01.26.14
While attempting to enjoy the soulless entertainment of the Grammys, I realized something... something that I may have been feeling for a while but was never quite able to put into words: I hate Taylor Swift.

The Imagine Dragons are in the middle of an epic performance of their smash hit, 'Radioactive', which featured an out-of-his-mind Kendrick Lamar. The energy in the building is oozing out of the screen. Naturally, the producers cut to a shot of Taylor Swift dancing off-beat. I become angry. Up to this point, I had tolerated a lot of her shenanigans, but this was the final straw. I declared my dislike for her in my live blog. I ran her name through the mud whenever she came up in conversation. Soon, it became something everyone knew about me. Actually, it was a PART of me. When discussing me, you had to mention my long-running TV show, my obsession with the Mets, and that I hate Taylor Swift. And you know what? I was PROUD of that. Wore it like a muthafuckin' badge of honor. Captain of the Taylor Swift hate club. That's me.

08.31.14
Every Sunday, I wake up and watch the VH1 Top 20 Countdown. Why? Because I love torture, apparently. It's not too bad... it keeps me in tune with what's going on musically in pop culture. It's my weekend tradition. This particular day, though, my world would be flipped upside down. Forever.

There's a new video on the countdown this week, and guess who it's by? That's right, my arch-rival Taylor Swift. 'Shake It Off'... great. Her pattern of dropping a new album just as her previous one is losing steam is predictable and annoying. Like, can I get one Taylor-free year in this bitch? Whatever. I'll just mean mug through this video and as soon as it ends, I'll give it the tongue-lashing it so rightfully deserves.

Except... I loved it. The song was catchy, the video was funny... it was beautiful. A work of art. My mean mug turned into a smile. My hate disappeared. Butterflies burst out of my stomach. I knew at that moment that I would never be the same again.



But how the hell did this happen? How could she have fooled me all these years? I was so used to her pestering me with her whiny tunes and subpar personality that it completely took me off-guard when she returned with a bang, this time full of charisma and charm. Taylor 2.0 was here, and I was a FAN. 'Shake It Off' instantly became one of my favorite songs, a mainstay on my iPod. The video was in heavy rotation in my household... so much that I wouldn't doubt that I made up about half of her 600 million views on YouTube. Taylor Swift's fan club didn't just get a new member, they got themselves a president.



10.27.14
I don't like modern day music. I used to listen to 100's of albums a year. Now, I'm lucky to get to double digits. It's rare for me to not only listen to an album but anticipate it's release. However, that's what I found myself doing for '1989'. I had been shaking it off for two months now and I was eager to know if the love was real. Secretly, I was hoping I hated the album so I could move on like everything was some giant fluke and return to my sour ways. Except one thing happened.

The album was fuckin' incredible.

I was blown away. Practically every track sounded like a hit. The melodies were infectious. Her accent was adorable. I didn't know what to do with myself. Here I am, a grown man, sitting in front of my laptop, nodding my head to 'Blank Space' like it's classic Biggie. Without a doubt, '1989' was the best album of the year. In any genre. Shit, it's one of the best albums I've heard in a long time. I love Michael Jackson to death and know that no one will ever come close to matching his legacy, but in my heart, '1989' was a modern-day 'Thriller'.

Taylor was in complete promo mode for the remainder of the year... and I couldn't have been happier. My mom fed my obsession, DV-R-ing every Taylor appearance she caught on TV. I posted so many Taylor-related comments on my social media accounts that I lost track. It was complete Taylor-mania.

A funny thing happened along the way, though. Just as I was coming to terms with this new love for Taylor, a new feeling reared it's ugly head. A feeling of... lust. Lust, you say? Really? Taylor is not my prototypical cup of tea. She's tall and lanky, awkward, with very lil trace of a curve on her bony frame. But I didn't care. I wanted nothing more than to climb that pale tree and make sweet love to her. Taylor wasn't just my woman crush Wednesday, she was my woman crush everyday. (#wce) You can have Beyoncé... keep Kate Upton... gimme some Taylor and gimme a whole lot of her.

02.17.15
The year has changed, my feelings have not. Still a huge fan of Taylor Swift. Still listening to '1989'. Still want to have her baby. Seeing her on Jimmy Fallon recently re-affirmed everything. She is all I have ever wanted, and more.



Do I remember who I used to be? Honestly, no. The person I was a year ago seems like a stranger. To be honest, I don't wish to imagine a world where I did not love this woman. So now, when you're discussing me, do me a favor. I know you'll mention my long-running TV show and you'll touch on my obsession with the Mets, but don't forget the most important detail of all... that I love Taylor Swift.

LIVE 2015 GRAMMY COMMENTARY!

(All times in EST)

7:30 PM: Last year, I got the brilliant(?) idea to post a live-streaming blog of the 2014 Grammys. And boy, did it suck the life out of me. I had no idea that bitch was three and a half hours long. WTF? However, it was a huge success, and to this day, it has the most views of any blog post I have ever done.

So guess what? I'M BACK FOR MORE.

I will be going live at 8 PM, when the show starts. Reminder in case you weren't part of the epic experience last year: Stay on this link, refresh every few minutes, new material will appear, you will be entertained... I hope.

You know the sub-plots by now... will Sam Smith clean house? Which creepy, old dude will come out as a surprise guest? And how much will my love forTaylor Swift grow? Find out in 30 mins.!

8:01 PM: Lights, cameras, action, muthafuckas! LL Cool J, our host for the fourth year, starts off the program sounding like he's on speed. And the opening act... AC/DC. For the first time in years! Blah. Looks like we've already filled our creepy, old guy quota for the night. But I'll be damned if these seniors ain't rocking out.

8:04 PM: The lead singer is wearing a crusty kangol, a tight black tee and even tighter black pants. And everyone in the audience is wearing devil's horns. 'Highway To Hell' is right. Even Satan would be afraid to be in attendance.

8:07 PM: Yup, LL still sucks as a host. I think he's even worse than last year.

8:09 PM: TAYLOR SWIFT! YESSSSSSS! My heartbeat just accelerated.

8:10 PM: And the first award of the night, Best New Artist, goes to... Sam Smith. Probably the least shocking thing we'll see tonight, as he was a certified lock to win this award. Who did I want to win? Anyone other than that fraud Iggy.

8:17 PM: Anna Kendrick, the white chick I like, just introduced Ariana Grande, the white chick I can't stand. Wouldn't be surprised if I'm not deaf in at least one ear after this debacle.

8:19 PM: What the hell does Big Sean find attractive about this chick? She looks like she's 13. Never have the Grammy's felt more like a Junior High School prom.

8:21 PM: Tom Jones in the building! It should be mandatory for Alphonso Ribeiro to accompany him wherever he goes and do the Carlton dance. The guy just won 'Dancing With The Stars'... show him some freakin' respect.

8:24 PM: Has to be mentioned: The OG Tommy Jones is rocking that white afro real tough.

8:26 PM: Best Pop Solo Performance time! Hoping for Taylor Swift or Pharrell. And the winner is... 'HAPPY'! FUCK YEAH! My favorite song of 2014! (Go read the blog later) So last year, Pharrell made a fashion statement with his humongous hat. This year, he looks normal... from the waist up. Very sharp jacket, and you know I'm pro-bow tie. But then he's sporting basketball shorts? Why do you do the things that you do, P?

8:33 PM: Mrs. Black Shelton, Miranda Lambert, is about to perform, and she actually looks attractive. The song, about her lil red wagon, blows cock, though.

8:35 PM: They're like wooooooo! They're like ahhhhhh! OK maybe it's growing on me.

8:37 PM: Best Pop Vocal Album is about to go down, presented by that acapella group who's name I can never get right and a mummified Barry Gibbs. And it's Sam Smith, again. Looks like the big night for the male Adele is getting started. Am I the only one who thinks he looks nothing like he sounds like? When I first heard him, I thought there was a chance he might be a brotha. Or at least a husky, bearded hipster. Slightly disappointed he looks like a syrupy sissy.

8:44 PM: Kanye West just hit the stage, surprisingly for the first time in six years. He's singing a song Paul McCartney wrote, which means it will probably win a Grammy next year. You know those Grammy bastards love anything Beatles.

8:47 PM: Sir Paul has to be regretting the fact he gave this song to Kanye. I can't even tell if it's a well-written song or not because Kanye's auto-tuned vocals are taking a giant shit all over it.

8:48 PM: Two of the industry's biggest puppets, Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj, introduce the queen puppet, Madonna. Let the demonic symbolism commence!

8:49 PM: Dancers with horns? Check. Hell mention in the song? Check. Way to be subtle.

8:50 PM: We've officially reached the point where Madonna looks like the old chick at the club. I'm fully expecting her to start yelling 'DOORMAN' at any moment. Watching her thrust her decrepit pelvis out is making me uncomfortable.

8:55 PM: Best Rock Album is about to be announced, and I could care less who wins. Beck wins. Whoopie.

9:02 PM: Shocker... another Beatle wins an award. This time, George Harrison wins a Lifetime Achievement Award. Niles Rogers presents, looking like Lil Wayne in about 30 years. along with Smokey Robinson, who's eyes could not be opened wider.

9:04 PM: Best R&B Performance is given to Beyoncé. She's still getting awards? Seems like that album came out 3 years ago already.

9:05 PM: Funky ginger, aka Ed Sheeran, is on now. Does this dude ever comb his hair?

9:06 PM: I just realized that he says that he'll love the woman until she's 70. I always thought he was saying 17, which would've made this the official anthem for pedophiles worldwide.

9:09 PM: Forgot to say that he's joined on stage by John Mayer, who's proof that you could play that innocent, good guy role and still be a douchebag who catches mad bodies.

9:11 PM: I would say my musical expertise is on point, but I can say with a clear conscious that I have no idea who's on stage right now. Paul McCartney is excited so I'm guessing he's somewhat of a big deal, but I can't get past the fact that he looks like the love child of John Goodman and Ringo Starr (yes, another Beatles reference).

9:14 PM: Looks like it's the Electric Light Orchestra, for those who were waiting on the edge of their seats for me to figure that out.

9:15 PM: Ryan Seacrest, of 'American Idol' fame, introduces Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani, of 'The Voice'. I smell some reality singing competition show beef.

9:17 PM: Very cool song... but with all the upbeat hits that Ed Sheeran and Maroon 5 have, it's odd that they both sang ballads tonight. Someone better get this party started soon because I can't wait any longer to twerk.

9:25 PM: Awwww shit! My Hozier jam, 'Take Me To Church' is on now. Sprinkle some holy water all over these devils, my dude.

9:28 PM: Annie Lennox joins him and unlike most of these collaborations, she adds instead of subtracting. She's screaming 'AMEN' like she's about to catch the Holy Ghost. Goosebumps begin to form. We officially have a front runner for performance of the night.

9:31 PM: The Annie Lennox takeover is in full effect. WOW. For a woman who was just screaming 'Amen' a few minutes ago, she looks fuckin' possessed out her mind right now. This one is gonna be hard to beat.

9:32 PM: So Nick Jonas, who's song 'Jealous' I despise, is presenting for the genre I loathe the most, Best Country Album. Thank God Megan Trainor's sexy little Jewish ass is there next to him to distract me.

9:33 PM: Miranda Lambert wins. Blake looks on, creepily.

9:34 PM: The Weeknd comes out, who apparently my mom has never heard of, as she asks me why he doesn't like the weekdays. I don't know, Mom. I don't know.

9:35 PM: My brother Pharrell is up, looking like an usher. No, not Usher. An actual usher. From the theater. He may be happy... to show you to your seat. This ensemble also includes shorts, again. I'm guessing it's like 120 degrees over there since Pharrell refuses to wear pants.

9:36 PM: FINALLY! It's 'Happy' time! *starts twerking*

9:37 PM: In a mere six minutes, Hozier has some serious competition. Skateboard P!

9:44 PM: Obama talking about domestic violence. He's a week late if he wanted to reach the right audience.

9:47 PM: A spoken word from a domestic violence victim is followed by Katy Perry. All jokes aside, men that beat their women are cowards. One of my favorite artists of all-time, the late, GREAT 2 Pac, put it better than I ever could:

'And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women'

- 2 Pac 'Keep Ya Head Up'

BTW, if you're not impressed by how fast I pulled up that quote, then I don't know what to tell you.

9:52 PM: Katy did well, although I was kind of expecting Missy Elliott to be incorporated somehow. I'm spoiled.

9:55 PM: My mom and I are trying to figure out if this Imagine Dragons performance is part of the actual show. Turns out it was a commercial. Shit, even on a commercial break I can't relax.

10:00 PM: Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett reviving an American classic. I'm 99% sure Gaga is a demon, but hot damn she looks GOOD. I would say that I would hit that but her vagina may have teeth. I'm also convinced that Tony Bennett was forced to do this duet album, but he can't say anything because maybe someone has revealing pictures of him or something. A wrinkly dick pic, perhaps? Tony, blink twice if you're being forced to do this.

10:03 PM: The performances are coming non-stop this year. My fingers are cramping up hardcore. Can a brother get a moment to breathe? This time, Usher is doing a Stevie Wonder tribute. A tall order, for sure, as Stevie is one of the all-time greats. Dude is one of the last living legends around.

10:06 PM: OK, I know I just said Stevie is a legend... but he just came out, and he's the size of a fuckin' house. Somebody get this dude a copy of Insanity and a Planet Fitness membership quick. I gotta give him credit, though... those dreads are still hanging in there, albeit barely.

10:13 PM: Country performance. Time for a water break.

10:21 PM: Country crap is over, and now the performance I was really anticipating is on. Rihanna, Yeezy, Sir Paul. Unlike the last song Kanye sang, 'Four Five Seconds' hits the mark and looks like an early contender to be on my favorite songs of 2015 list.

10:23 PM: Rihanna is grabbing her balls.

10:24 PM: For a song that just came out, I'm impressed that so many people in the audience knew the words. Granted, two of those people were Kim Kardashian and Paul McCartney's wife, but still.

10:30 PM: TAYLOR! That's my boo, yo. And to think, at last year's show, I was beyond irritated with her. But is she not gonna perform? Really? I'm ready to shake it off in this bitch.

10:31 PM: The man of the night, Sam Smith, sings his monster hit, 'Stay With Me'. If they film another 'American Pie', Sam can definitely take on the role of Paul Finch.

10:32 PM: The queen of hip-hop soul, Mary J. Blige, joins him onstage, and the pairing seems natural. Mary J. is trying her best not to outshine the new jack, and she succeeds.

10:35 PM: Jane The Virgin introduces Juanes. Where my Latinos at? We bout to turn this into a Colombian fiesta.

10:37 PM: I have no idea what he is saying. The only word I can make it is the name of the song, 'Juntos', which means together. I think. I have failed as a Latino. To be fair, he is singing REALLY fast. Slow down, you show-off.

10:39 PM: Prince! Looking like a creamsicle. Not a great fashion night for music's legends.

10:41 PM: OK, the awards are heavy now. Album of the year, one of the night's biggest awards, is about to be given out... to BECK?! Didn't they give this award last year to Daft Punk, the duo with the doofy helmets that can't even speak? I swear they're intentionally picking the least entertaining artist to take home the hardware.

10:42 PM: Did Kanye really pretend like he was going to go onstage to pull a... Kanye? As obnoxious as he's been in the past, this time it would've been justified. And no, I haven't heard Beck's album... but it's BECK! Come on, son.

 

10:49 PM: Sia is hiding her face yet again. Her reason for not exposing her identity is that she believes music should be more about substance than image, and I love that. But have you googled a picture of Sia? Do it, there's pics of her out there. Yeah, now you know the real reason why she's hiding.

10:50 PM: Kristin Wig? No way! Kind of hard for me to take this performance seriously with one of SNL's funniest ladies doing an interpretive dance but because I have an undercover crush on her, I approve.

10:53: Song of the year time. No more joking around. A lot of big players in this, including mi corazon, Taylor. And the Grammy goes to... Sam Smith. Zzzzzz. Paul Finch, report to the stage one more time.

10:58 PM: Just wanted to mention that during the commercial break, my mom is PISSED over Sia's performance. Apparently, this stems from Sia having her back to the audience. Among the words she used to describe this are 'stupid' and 'rude'. I'm so happy I have her here to share her expert analysis.

11:03 PM: If Beck and Chris Martin want to have a snooze fest, why not do it at the beginning of the show? I'm fatigued, people. I've been blogging for three hours! I'm about to knock out.

11:06 PM: Stevie's back. No more fat jokes, I promise.

11:07 PM: How did he get so big, though? I feel like this happened quickly. Maybe he was hiding all that fluffiness behind his piano all these years?

11:08 PM: Sam Smith wins Record of the year. I don't even care anymore. I need a snack.

11:15 PM: Oh, great. It's that boring, bearded guy who talks every year about making sure music doesn't become extinct. Until the quality of music improves, I'm illegally downloading all that shit. Middle finger to the industry, ya heard.

11:18 PM: Now we remember those no longer with us. Some heavy hitters here... Joe Cocker, Bobby Womack, Robin Williams, Maya Angelou, Little Jimmy Dickens. No, I have no idea who Little Jimmy Dickens is, but when you have a name like that, I don't care if you're dead or alive, I'm putting you in my blog.

11:28 PM: It's Beyoncé's turn to perform but I gotta be honest... I am running out of steam. We still have another performance after this and you see the time. And yes, it's another ballad. Let me get my Mets blanket, I'm fading quickly.

11:30 PM: She sang wonderfully. Or at least I imagined she did.

11:31 PM: It finally looks it's send-off time, and this one looks like a winner. John Legend, Common, 'Glory' from 'Selma'. This is powerful music. If the industry released substance like this on a more consistent basis, we wouldn't need that bearded buffoon to tell us to support the industry. How about the industry supports us with some good music for the mind and soul? Something with meaning?

11:37 PM: Show is over. At least I think it is. Or hope it is. But I made it! Man, this isn't easy. But it might be harder to read this and keep up with the frequent updates, so if you got to this point, I sincerely thank you. Or as Sam Smith would say, thank you for 'staying with me'. Corny, I know, but what do you want? It's almost midnight! Goodnight, familia.

MY SUPER BOWL PREDICTION!

The big game is amongst us. Get fired up! OOOOHHHHH YEAAAAAHHH!

Can we clap for a blogger with his bloggin' ass? I am 8-2 so far this postseason, which is pretty impressive considering that many of these games were evenly matched. Of course, I needed a historic Green Bay collapse to get to this point (poor Packers) but sometimes you need a lil luck (and not enough Andrew Luck) to succeed.

With the match-up set, let's see if I could lock down my 9th win and show the world who the real football guru is.

Let's do this...

Seahawks over Patriots

Vegas has this as a 1 point spread. And I can see why. These are the #1 seeds in each conference, both sizzling hot, both with the pedigree to claim the throne. The Pats, under Brady and Belichick, have been to the big show five times previously, making this their impressive sixth trip. They've taken home the trophy three times. While Seattle, under their current regime, doesn't have that past, they are the defending champs who embarrassed a far more impressive Denver squad a year ago. While New England is more well-rounded, Seattle plays to it's strengths, namely defense and a ferocious running game. It just so happens that those are usually the key elements to victory.

Let's re-visit the Pats two Super Bowl losses... and not just because I'm a Giants fan. OK, maybe it is because I'm a Giants fan, but that doesn't make the point I'm about to make any less valid. The way the underdog G-Men beat New England was simple... hit Tom Brady in the fuckin' mouth. I don't care how much of a world class quarterback you are, as Peyton Manning proved last year... you get enough pressure, you will fold. Well, unless you're Eli Manning against the Niners in the NFC Conference Championship game in 2012. But that's neither here or there. I can't see Seattle deviating too much from the Giants' blueprint, especially considering that's their style of play anyway.

Overall, Seattle is just a bad match-up for New England. Most experts have predicted a close game. I see the Seahawks winning by double digits.

Seattle 27, New England 17

So now only one question remains... ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?! Enjoy the game, y'all.

How to raise a future queen

Fathers get such a bad name in this world. Sure, there's plenty of irresponsible a-holes out there but for every bad apple, there's a delicious Granny Smith waiting to be devoured. Hmmm, that doesn't make sense. Just watch the damn video. This is how you raise a lil lady into a future queen.




This is the main reason when I start reproducing (yikes), I want a daughter. Nothing like that daddy/daughter love, y'all!

My least favorite songs of 2014

OMG there's a blizzard outside! Ahhhhh!

Well... not really.

I used to think NYC was gangsta. However, here I am, in a big city that's shut down because of flurries. It got me a day off from work so I'm not complaining, just disappointed in the thoroughness of my hometown. Man up, sissies.

The good news is you get this blog as a treat! A few days ago, I posted my annual 'favorite songs of the year' blog. If you haven't read it, GO NOW. It's splendid. But for the first time, I'm gonna do the yin to that yang. That's right... my LEAST favorite songs of 2014.

I know, I know... this list could be endless. I plan to use laser-like focus and shine the (dim) light on a select few that pissed me off the most. I'm sure there's plenty of unpopular songs that suck just as much as the mainstream ones, but picking on those lil-known jams wouldn't be right. I ain't no bully, y'all. The songs below can be considered hits in some regard, and by hits I mean I wanted to hit my head against the fuckin' wall whenever I heard them. Because they were played non-stop on the radio, they deserve the lashing they're about to get. Justice is about to be served.

Let's cue the garbage...

Rich Gang 'Lifestyle'
Migos 'Handsome & Wealthy'
I grouped these two songs together for a few reasons. One, they're equally horrible. Two, they represent a genre who supplied the majority of shitty music in '14. Three, I can't understand a word that either of these ass clowns are saying. I set my alarm to Power 105 in the AM and guess what I usually woke up to? This toxic waste. No wonder I was aggravated before I even set foot in the shower. Twenty years ago, I was listening to a young, illmatic Nas. 'Ready To Die', arguably the greatest hip-hop album ever dropped. The Wu were branching out with their solo projects after their monumental debut. Two decades later, I'm listening to rappers who sound like they have down syndrome. Seriously, these idiots aren't even audible. I've listened to the chorus of 'Lifestyle" carefully and I made out three words, max. Rap world, this is unacceptable. Step your effin' game up.

Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX 'Fancy'
First things first, you're the wackest. Have you heard this fraud speak in an interview? SHE'S AUSTRAILIAN. Why is she sounding so stereotypically 'urban' on all of her wack ass songs? This is a straight-up mockery of the culture and I won't stand for it. I feel bad for Charli XCX's fine ass who had to try and save this shit with the only thing salvageable about it, the chorus. Even with the vailiant effort, this was still a fail. Oh yeah, I hated 'Black Widow' too, beeyotch.

Jessi J feat. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj 'Bang Bang'
The inclusion of this song is important because A) I hate the song and B) I hated everything the featured artists dropped last year. 'Problem', 'Break Free', 'Anaconda'... HATED IT ALL. How anyone can listen to Ariana Grande's voice without their ears bleeding is beyond me. Nicki sounding like a psycho slut on every record? Yawn. And then this catastrophe. Save yourself from these pitiful puppets, Jessi J. Good thing I don't own a firearm or it would be 'bang bang' for real for real. *thug voice*

Pitbull feat. Ke$ha 'Timber'
Pitbull, mi primo! Que paso? For years, you've entertained the universe with your electric energy. But last year? No bueno. Your chants of 'Dale' were finally starting to get stale. Your beat selection, usually top notch, was bottom shelf. And then you got this trashy hoe to sing this horrible hook. Your last album, 'Globalization', was a sign that there might be a sudden end to your Cuban reign. I know this song wasn't on there but it was still the biggest turd you dropped in '14. Ay Dios mio.

Magic! 'Rude'
Just what I wanted to hear, a bunch of reggae-influenced Canadians whining about their future father-in-law. No wonder he doesn't want you to marry his daughter... because of garbage like this. Shit, I'd be rude too if this was my potential son-in-law's plea. I have a handful of Caribbean-themed songs on my iPod but I can assure you, this ain't one of them. The real magic would be if we could make these fucktards disappear.

Jason Derulo 'Trumpets'
Can this guy dance? Sure. Am I hating on him because he was boning that goddess Jordin Sparks? Maybe a lil. But that doesn't change the fact that this is one of the most poorly-written songs in recent memory. 'Is it weird that your ass remind me of a Kanye West song?' Yes, it's fuckin' weird. And borderline homosexual. Why the hell would you write (or sing) such a thing? The songwriter should be banned from ever lifting a pen in his lifetime.

John Legend 'All Of Me'
And here is where the female demographic loses their shit. I fully expect riots over this selection but guess what? I DON'T CARE. Let's call a spade a spade. I love a beautiful ballad as much as the next person, but this overly sappy, insincere ode to his overrated wife? No thank you. I want that Luther-type shit, feel me? I'm sure this song will be played at weddings for years to come, and if you're planning to play this at your ceremony and you want me there, I'M NOT COMING.

OK, let me stop there. I feel my blood pressure rising and I'm not trying to catch a heart attack over a blog. While I take some deep breaths, I hope you enjoy the rest of the day, especially my fellow NYers who are 'snowed in'. *Rolls eyes* Peace, punks.