I'm about to leave work last night (yes, I have an actual job, you racist puta) when my co-worker stops me:
Co-Worker: Yo, you wanna go to the Knick game tonight?
Me (in my head): Wow! You like, actually want to hang out with me OFF the clock? Neat!
Me (this time verbally): Uhh yeah, sure.
Notice how I was keeping it super cool. It sounded like a great idea, though. I can't remember the last time I've been to a Knick game, and it was definitely before my fav player Carmelo Anthony had joined the team (Syracuse, bitches!)
Me: Who's going?
Co-Worker: Me, my brother and one of my friends.
Me: You got tickets already?
Co-Worker: Nah, I'm ordering on StubHub and they only come in sets of four.
Me (now realizing I am only being used as a 4th seat but trying to ignore that fact): Ok let's do it!
My co-worker tries to order the tix but is having difficulty doing so. Apparently, the tix that looked to be available were sold. And let me tell you something, these seats were SWEET! I'm talking half-court, rubbing shoulders with Spike Lee and shit. Well, not nearly that close but good enough that I could make out the players' faces. Probably.
After a few more failed attempts, I steadily lose interest and resort to the plans I already had: staying home, wrapped up in my Mets snuggie watching Shark Tank. My co-worker finds a trio of tickets together and orders them. Everything is in this world is right again.
Except it isn't. I go home and decide to turn on the game while I wait for Shark Tank to begin, only to see Carmelo score 20 in the first quarter. And although there was plenty of game to be played, I knew at that point that I was missing something special.
You know the rest. Carmelo ends up breaking the Knicks and MSG record for points scored in a game while I shed tears tightly holding onto my Mets pillow pet. Another fail in my life, and one that I will not shake off easily. Come to think of it, I wish that asshole never asked me if I wanted to go. I wouldn't be spending my weekend covered in embarrassment and shame. So screw him, screw StubHub, screw Mark Cuban and screw you. (I didn't mean that, I swear. Just have a lot of anger. Tons of anger.)
If there's a rainbow in this story of clouds, and trust me, it's a really small, almost non-existent rainbow, it's that my fav player went ham on the poor Bobcats, in record-setting fashion. In case you missed any of it, here's every basket he scored last night. Now excuse me while I talk myself off the ledge.
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